Never say sorry to you again
'and I will gently close my eyes
Sorry to those I love whom are not you
For I would have followed you into wonder
For you, nothing in this world I wouldn't do
Nothing in this world

Help this idealistic dream come true
Nothing else will do
Follow me down into Hell,
Love me into and beyond, June

Are you going to remember all our nights,
Eclipses unseen unto endless flight
Need you to fight
Stay beyond the brink of the light

I am ready to settle and seed
Draw the covers to a close
Know that we were made to find
'the last sentence of our stories
*Together

Young and beautiful,
Softer each time
The way I see your eyes
Deep and under control

Would I ever be free of this love
Could I call it home,
I know you live with me
'Here under the banner of "us"

Please just accept my hand,
All the grace and immaculate warmth
I wish to once again hold
Will we recall, something so beautiful

Outside my own Heart
Lingers a beating, throbbing part
Large and small all at once
Mistified by shape and tone of what once was
Better Loves come about more than once

The part of me
Chasing the road home
Our tragedy in melodies
Sanctity of volume
In which we need love
The day we wake up
A day it's over, the sky falling down
Lone down, London Town
Singing to the river,
While the daylight lets us know where it has to go
The story in a blink of your pretty green eyes
Started while the sound was queer,
Now you roam the night
Royality, we tried
'Though our kids are growing up

It is a hunger
Desire to love and grow further
Acquit to encumber
Greek fire abreast of precursor

Let me feel that love yet unheard of to me
In this old world
Debris barren of written word at sea
Deep kiss unfurl

Until then, memories keep coming
Beauty, which yet not be wrong
Living will, remedies forthcoming
Off duty all along

If the sky would fall
Die nor, would we all

Ninety-nine cents for my best friend
A drive to the mall
Turned around gracefully
Never meant to let you down
A coffee full of tea
Confusion in conversation
Emotional reactions to being unseen

You never voiced any concern until it was too late for me
Left on my own in a great big sea
All I could do was be brave
Dreaming the same things

The next day I buried that version of me
Shallow was the grave, ready to be raised if need be
Nobody asked where he went
They could already see

Potentially wasting my lungs on this
Too much time and energy
Try to feel all things
Intense and clear
Feelings resonating off every wall

It was never a waste of our young years
Time spent with you
I miss every moment
Not because I had someone
But because I had you, Olivia

Now, dreams are ribbons to the wind
As I find my way home again
Cold and confused
Tending to a heart now bruised
I remain me, strong and stubborn
Things I have learnt still colour me
But I will never call these years a waste

No, they meant the world to me
Thank-you
For everything

Paint me the way you remember me
In dreams and reality
Contrast light and dark
Asking yourself,
Where you placed my heart

Grow me a garden of roses
Pick every petal the same way
Grow less interested every day
Ignore it, scorn it
Act surprised when it defiantly grows beyond its confines

Stare up at the sky
Emulating my voice in your head
Seek out the seed which you planted
Paint the true story in my head
Let the sun set slowly
Echo every act, again and again

Nothing fits the frame
Alone, it appears inconsistent
The garden queries and the painting runs
Unsure of where to go
Not but a thirsty man, drinking his memories
Undauntingly trying to fly

What would you say if you came back?
What would you see?
What would you feel?
What would you do?

I built a house for all our memories
I fashioned a basket for all my attempted remedies
I tried to sell a few of my emotions
I tried, but I still only think of you
I know that I'm in love with you

A trumpet plays
A sax wails
A guitar inquiries upon the night sky
A thousand things happen when I think of you

Look at these eyes
Look at my lips
Look at our hearts
Look at what you did to me

To hang out again
To admit we miss it
To maybe say sorry
To listen to the rain together
To try and go out in poor weather
To drink another coffee with you
To let loose and share all we knew and know

I felt life for the very first time
It broke me from patterns I was stuck following
Taught me to stop being afraid

Yeah, I get that I could be too much
I let my love be the number one priority
Before careers or hobbies
That's what I did for the girl that helped me feel life for the very first time
I jumped in, all in
I apologize if I was too much over the course of the years
It was something I could have worked on
If only you had told me so

I speak to many
Prophecies and listicles fill up my search history
I have no idea if my publisher has ever Googled me
But I know the pain within me

I cross too many streets
The lights are green, sometimes red
I disregard and carry on, not caring about the outcome
Into the ground, I ponder my way
But I know that I have unfinished words to say

I don't know the first thing about love
Apparently
Everything about it seems to allude me
Driving far faster than I can possibly see
But I know that I'm open to it hitting me

I couldn't tell you what I'm going to do next
Lie to strangers about my major
Tell myself I don't need these pills prescribed
Ignoring it with suffering for the benefit of my pride
But even with you, was something I tried to hide

Gracious patience at my feet
White shadows ride
Gliding downward to meet
Arrows tide

The hardest part
Science of love
Stardust apart
Alliance from above

Snapping free of soul
What I got wrong
Wrapping that love whole
Glut neigh brought song

Bleed your heart over the side
Cede war art nationwide

She placed me on the edge of the ocean
A precipice of promise, dark and deep
Waves which could offer much to me
Release, adventure, an epilogue

She could have pushed more gently
Rather, it was a rough suggestion
A gift of will that attempted to blame me
The bird specifically, chirping words hurtfully

A show must go on
However dramatically, the cost of my anatomy
Heart is gone now, sold for parts
Stopped working months ago,
A deficiency with our art

You perform, I create from the heart
We both sing but you had an earlier start
Every love for which I stumble
Eventually lets me fall
Every phone I find
Has a limit to my allowed calls

The grass is green, the sky is grey
At times I wish this was my final day
Not for hate or for pain
But simply to end the questions that plague my brain

Departures
Fast and slow
From my life
You come and go

Each and all
You and she
Once were here
In love with me

Alone
Upon a dream
A thousand memoirs
Written

A cold night in a long winter
The fire burns, the logs do bleed
With ancient eyes
I still can see
All this time
All this time
Within these dreams of memory

Once you did try to run my heart aground
Yet, you did not seem to understand how I operate
Since you abide, begun to confound
My heart, a quintet of tidal streams, off hand oscillates

Eyes that call to mind vast and beautiful vistas
Warm soaring stretches of natural wonder, quietly leading into the tranquility of home
Bringing temptation to my heart, mingling with the material of my soul
Together, they dance upon your serenity, beautiful and gracious
So reminiscent of perfection, they serve to anoint the life around you with an ethereal quality
With a blink you emanate the sweetest taste in my mouth
Looking back upon you, is unlike looking at anyone else

Figured a head or two
Bought a barrel of laughs and sold a few
Looked to the horizon for a foreign God
When nothing answered back
I found that odd

Went to the market in search of rare breads
When in fact all I found was a hole in my head
How did it get there I wondered
Loud and clear
It took a moments delay to hear what I feared
A shot from a gun
Loud and clear

That foreign God had come
To take all that I held dear

Running my right hand down a rain soaked window
The colour of the evening sky is dark and grey
Deep within the leaves of early November stir and rustle
The loving kiss of a March gone past

The children on the street gaze intently as I go by
Cold and quiet, pain in my eyes
The weather has turned cold now
Like most else
The face of this reality
Morality without

Realization that this path leads nowhere fast
The last love
The best I have ever had
Would if I could
Go back

Hand in hand
Like nothing happened
The record plays again

Surmise your gravity with verve and wonderment
Donate love to the basest of desires
Avert the eyes from a silhouette of man
The lifeless frame ringing in your head
Reflecting all of time,
The mechanisms holding back the years
Ducts which no longer produce tears
As all things do, pass

If our love was simply meant to win a game,
Why is it that our suffering has been given great longevity?
For, is this not a cruel reality?
Can I not have my remedy?

Hard to see through these new eyes
All those similar faces filled with new time
I recognize the sound and smell
But you won't glow like you did while we were in love

And I want to know, I want to say
All those similar warm things
I want to feel the way I did those days
But all those years have been given up

Oh, there I could see
All my time and sense could not be
Oh, there I could see
All my time and sense could not be
Oh, there I could see
All my time and sense could not be

And if I was but a different man, I would know I was right
But my hearts been broken too many times
So I refuse this mind, I refuse a muse
Would logic prevail, I would grow up

I want to walk a trail that was once mine
Until I shared it with you
But now I know that none of that is right
All those years have been given up

Oh, there I could see
All my time and sense could not be
Oh, there I could see
All my time and sense could not be
Oh, there I could see
All my time and sense could not be

Colloquial breathing under the waves
Floating down the river
Eyes firmly shut
Mind is full of dreams
Each moment stripping away the decay of this vessel
Marvelling toward times gone by
Further, the river

Twisting and turning
The heart heals
New and resolute
The eyes open
Stark and pulchritudinous

Who will the river babble to
When she has run so far away
Off into the mists emanating from the bridge
Pulsating, a nucleus inside of the cell

For when I came up to meet her
The look in her eyes was pained
The words on her lips were sorry
The beats of this story too familiar to these eyes and ears

Accept the horror and hope for a reprieve
Down some absinth and dream a little dream
Pray time speeds up, that you may mend
Or that a familiar and loving face awaits at the next bend
Rolling with all these blows, who the **** knows

For auld lang syne and all it's bittersweet melodies
'I returned home
My pond of pure intent soiled with every day spent
Though the feeling of flight was strong,
'where should I hide?
The water?
This was once my home
Now it is but a chain that constrains
Sends legions of pain,
Against this fate I struggled
'Now all fought for is rubble
My heart too tired and hurt to keep
When will my tears cease?

How do you feel
An eternal question
Liquid and virile
While the waves crash around you internally

Time, forever
How much was the fare?
A price I cannot comprehend
Memories beautiful and places I can no longer see
Remembering the people we used to be

You, a star upon the flu
Looking too much into the past
God, you could never know
How much an emotion lasts

Happy little leap,
'great faith
Delicious resolve
Water seeping in,
Should you run, where would you hide?
Against the light will you find trouble?

Can you keep your head above the waves,
'evaluate each breath,
Kiss my cheek, don't bother
Against the light, why, you are but rubble
Your head is sinking deep
The water is claiming you

Oh, my sweet memories
Make your heart double,
the smiles above the deep
while you sink below the waves,
'shallowly

Capsized in a wilted heap
Together in a mug of loss
Drinking away our sorrows
Until I am You and You are Me

Staring at the epilogue, obsessed with what came before
Dreaming of the prologue
Leaving out the rest

Refusing to live today
Trying your very best
Dressing as well as you can afford
Living a life of self-acknowledged boredom

Falling out a porthole backwards
Splashing in the tub
Glancing out from within
Walking around the lake
Staring at a picture, manufactured and fake

What else have we learnt to do
Craft experiences and swim in *****
Yell at the walls as they cave in on you
Walking this thin geographical line
Time questions what exactly it is we'll do
A question muted by inability

The subtle jazz comes on the withered old jukebox
Allowing for subtle hints regarding content and flow
The lights dimmed down real low
They start to come out onto the stage
Accompanying me, their hate like a plague
Brandishing my hands I commence the play

Up and down, side to side
The Moon glaring in from outside
Cold wisps of wind, whispering to me
Finish them, finish them, end their tyranny
And with sudden bravado I all all to see
The lonely heart inside of me

Moments turn to seconds,
Seconds to millineia
The music comes out melancholy and full of hysteria
Around we go
A carousel of fortuitous hope
Written to let the darkness go

Out they fall
To the ground, ashes and all
Nothing but ashes at all

Honesty here, a poem without prose for context
A broken silence regarding misspoken terms delivered
I don't remember asking you to leave me here
I now wander the streets at night, alone
You're over there, sitting in a soft and new leather chair
A little bit closer to finding who we are going to be
And that's how I rationalize all that has been going on without you

I mean, honestly
I have no clue what it is you now do
Are you aware of how you make me feel?
Defying, lying if I did not mention that it hurts to see you
Is it alright that it makes me sick with heartache?
Is it okay to admit that sometimes I wish I was no longer me?

Yes, because I have always been open with you
I'm a little bit closer to finding the real me
A thousand miles have probably gone by
A hundred new faces introduced and internalized
Friends have dragged me to the gym more times than I can count
Since we last spoke
A litre of tears transpired thanks to you

I'm lying if I say I never keep my eyes wide open
Looking for you
If I laid eyes on you, what would I even do?
Would I ask you to come on a walk with me?
Take a chance and ask for a dance?

If I close my eyes I can see it now,
But if I did that and it never came true?
I would lose another piece of me
To you
And that is why I have yet to speak
To you

Now you know,
You get it, I guess
I am not opposed to discussion
I want to know what is going on with you
I just cannot be your friend
That is a role I will never pretend

Long gone,
We refuse to make friends
You found a port in a storm
Shallow and meek
If the sun came back you know you would not stew
My Baby, chase relentlessly

Hasn't stopped me yet,
Leaned out the window of her 50s corvette,
See, honey, you thought I was lonely
You failed to see, I found a much better side of me
Now, that is all you will get from me
Ta-ta, baby

I would not say a word at all
Letting myself slide
Don't you love that will?
A hidden wall that obscures pain
To wake up with you in my embrace
Just to be

But little pieces fall
Chunks break at the wall
Neglected my call
And pieces fall away
Just as she did on that August day

Oh, adventures we had
These arms around her
Are what I wanted us to feel
But she was so beautiful
Emotionally full
Waking up each day in my heart
Still wonder about second chances

Completion understated
And I am scared to go home
Without her love and dreams
So much for the spotlight
Not shared, but split
For some reason somewhere
Holes in our stratosphere

So misguided,
The fear that keeps you awake at night
Maybe lonely, may even find yourself alone
Inside, where you really know
That every breath has been a fight
Because, maybe
Maybe, maybe
You haven't known anything except your own voice
On both sides
Tranquil warm winds blow
Yet, all you feel is cold
Oh, let you go to see the horizon
Baby, Baby, Maybe,
See the light
Hush, sleep soundly this night

Upon a new year
Aloft with expectations of a new day
Guitars whispering behind each step
But all is quiet
White noise beneath the bay

Nothing has changed
A new year, a new day
Still with you
A figment shared in our heads

Underneath the sky
The ocean asks me why
I do not know, my arms feel weak
The radio says nothing
Your actions speak

Turned into another mural
Across a stray wall
In a city I've never been to
Another victim
Summer into Fall
All for nothing
Nothing at all