If only I had woke up sooner
I feel like my life can be sung by worn crooner
I have shut my eyes to most events and tried to escape
Everyone has left and made my heart and soul have a huge gape
I dream of what could have been , should have been
I could have opened my eyes and got up and done something but fear held me down but no one understands what I mean
It's hard to do the right thing when you're afraid of losing all you have
I've in the end lost all I gave
It's my fault for not knowing when
I still need help time and time again
The battle still wages and no one wins

You pretended and made me believe your lies
I thought you were trying and that you cared , you never heard my cries
I see the real enemy isn't what you made me to believe I see through you and see where the true one lays
When I didn't feel like going on you went away like I meant nothing , you didn't even faze
I don't want your fake love , fake laughs , or fake hope in your gaze
Sometimes I feel all I can is forgiveness but I can't
I just have a lose of words but I still manage to rant
I wish you meant nothing...I wish you were just a passing face from day to day
But you're not , you haunt me in the memories I just want to throw away
This time I'll try harder to forget the pain and maybe you're ghost will leave my mind and no longer have a reason to stay

Knock down the walls that hold you bound
Your heart is afraid of falling and not getting caught before it hits the ground
The only happiness you choose to feel is shallow
I want to give my world , my life , and my soul if you'll only allow
I'm afraid you won't learn how to trust
Your heart was once like a ocean filled with love and lust
Now it's just a dried dessert in a mouth full of dust
I don't really know what I'm trying to say
I guess I love you and I just wish sometimes you and me...didn't feel this way
But I know that will soon change and I don't care how long that takes even if it's when the world has no more days.

I've become someone I don't even recognize
I sometimes believed I deserved it when you would chastise
I want to be happy but in order to do that I would have to let you go
I can't tell anymore if I do things for love or if I'm just a "**"
In your eyes I'm everything corrupt in life
All I am is one huge strife
I ask you , "What do you want from me?"
I heard only yelling none of it really matters now , all I wanted to do was flee
I just want to keep running until I don't feel anything at all
Sometimes I just give up to you , you just have such great thrall
You're the one who's always supposed to love me so if you can't even do that who can?
I found someone who could and I'm proving you wrong , even though I'm a little lost right now with no plan
I'll find my way and hopefully myself , and I hope it will give you time too
I'm tired of being hurt , crying , and believing in you changing and I'm just through

I don't want you to hate me but you do
I don't want you to leave but you did
I just want what we once had
"I'm here for you and I always will be"
"I won't give up on you , because I love you."
Now it seems I'm as meaningless as the milk you pour on your cereal
What happened to laughs and camping and telling me stories?
What happened to tickling my feet to see me smile and saying one day I'll be great and find love?
I'm replaced in your heart with
"Why aren't you as good as him?" and "I hate you , I despise you."
I just want my true dad and his love...
I guess people will just have to keep labeling me with "daddy issues"
And maybe I do have them but they won't stop until he does.

Never have I felt true hate until you did the unforgivable
I was easy so you saw me as biddable
You were right
There was no need to fight
I tried to leave you with all my might
But I couldn't , then you hurt in ways that I can't describe
You would discard my feelings and try to make sly gibes
You thought as though I had no ears to listen
Your words were like as though I had eaten ricin
The new emotion of hate gave me a jolt of frisson
I can never be repaired you made me this way and you know it
You made me so damaged I took it out on myself , so my skin I slit
I would sneak out to meet you and walk through my house in manner quit flit
I can never take back those cold , regrettable , and horrendous nights
But maybe one day I can recover and make a wrong a right

You helped me stand but then you would push me down
You were my king but now you're a peasant with a shattered crown
I use to play trick or treat with my heart
You played me like an old Nintendo 64 from the start
You were always player one
Never satisfied when you won
Your eyes grew more desolate
I would still believe in you so I would wait...
But no longer do you have control
I have a new strong real love to dole
You're game is over
And in the end I'm the one left with closure