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Aug 2020 · 138
I feel I will burst
Stella Aug 2020
Like a highly active volcano
I feel I will burst
No one knows it but me
I hide behind a poker face

It hurts being so tumultuous,
being vulnerable to my emotions
But I am much too prideful,
so I keep it to myself

All it takes is for one thing to go wrong,
like the shifting of tectonic plates
For the mind quake and emotional tsunami
Current events sadly
Jan 2020 · 176
Zen Garden
Stella Jan 2020
How I wish life were like a zen garden
All my problems raked away
Everyday spent surrounded by pretty rocks
Simplicity is king

Nothing is disorganized, not a single facet of my life
Living life like the sand falling through my fingers
Easy and effortless
Jan 2020 · 91
Inner storm
Stella Jan 2020
I’m so angry
I’m so sad
I wanna punch faces
I wanna weep

Give me a knife
I’ll slash everything in sight

But nothing will stop the tears from flowing
Jun 2019 · 340
Little girl don’t be me:
Stella Jun 2019
I don’t have work
I don’t have school
I have no books to check in or out
Yet still,
you get to sit around
Look at me,
my swollen black circles
under my lifeless eyes

I’m so tired
I see the shy little nerd stacking books again

“Yeah.”(chuckle)
She’s my kryptonite now
Who knew leather books could be so comfy to lay one’s head?
It’s not cool being awake for over 24 hours driving through the day with coffee. You feel jaded but not in a good way
Jun 2019 · 346
ΛLIΣN
Stella Jun 2019
I don't want to be with the ΉЦMΛП ones
I don't want to participate in their sick games
˜”°•.˜”°•♒︎◆︎❍︎♋︎■︎///•°”˜.•°”˜

They put my body in a new light
Pinned down, legs and arms sticking out
My chest rising like a storm's wave
The pointy instruments jabbed in my direction
Who did these cretins think they were?

Then you should imagine how I felt
When I discovered through torn tissue and sharp rule
What the humans really desired from me

"We want your blood, organs, and much more."

"We want to see what you have back home."

ΉӨMΣ? They repeated the word more than enough,
a foreign tongue and culture, I had trouble understanding
My uniquely pristine terrain was ΉӨMΣ
My business was not extended to these cruel organisms
My body was not open to these merciless cuts
My fluid...
•._.••´¯''•.¸¸.•'
I am dizzy
but for now they are gone,
No more agony
I look around me finally

Lifeless white, lifeless shine
my liquids on the floor,
No soul

Back in my world,
One could not compare
the lack of luster behind these walls
to our fresh, fragrant colored happiness
I did not take in pride
as much as I did in these moments

My liquid- blood as they called it
was ironically the most beautiful thing in that cursed room
A splash of amber on haunting floors
I wonder if ΉЦMΛПƧ bled like us?
Why must I be thinking like this?

I already decided how I felt about these beings
They were no good
They captured me
Trapped me
Pried me
Taunted me

But I reminded myself that my species wasn't all good
As much as I am justified in my anger
Perhaps there's good ΉЦMΛПƧ too?

Another thing picked away at me,
really got under my skin
They clearly thought they were above me
At least in the sense that I was mere entertainment for them
Like a budding flower to be stripped away

They considered themselves superior
Over my home and species
They've given me a little name
Taking it to heart even, playfully

I am sincerely asking,
what does ΛLIΣN mean?
₩łⱠⱠ ł ɆVɆⱤ Ʉ₦ĐɆⱤ₴₮₳₦Đ? ₩łⱠⱠ ₮ⱧɆ₴Ɇ ⱧɄ₥₳₦₴ ₴₱₳ⱤɆ ₥Ɇ?
Jun 2019 · 282
Something else
Stella Jun 2019
Something else,
Could be so much fun
When you are not around

When someone new,
Can not adjust
when you are always nearby

I became someone new,
what do I do?

Why must you insist
I resist,
When you know I'm not that shy...

Don't make me pull my hair out
trying to make you out,
You don't want to see my entropy...
entropy (in-truh-***): a person's gradual descent into madness
Nov 2018 · 238
Miss Cellaneous
Stella Nov 2018
There's a ******* the street
Who walks with a different tune every other week

Everytime her eyes are sought under her thick raven bangs
Your guess is as good as mine, what filled those depths of pine

Pure ecstasy bleeding through
Lifeless clouds of avolition
Piercing daggers of ice ire

Her heart beats just like yours,
Her tears flow like ours
Her laughs crack like a long lost sister's

Yet above all, she is solely Miss cellaneous, and will always be to those who see only her eyes
Mar 2018 · 198
Autopilot
Stella Mar 2018
Minutes, hours, weeks
A broken leaf in the wind
It doesn't want to see beyond the cloud
Feb 2018 · 182
Swallowed
Stella Feb 2018
Look at where I've at, lying in the overgrowth
My arms lean against the wind that pounds them
Sun's light never leaving the sky, so my blossoms can still bloom
If you take me to the edge, I'll keep within
Even if it pulls me farther in
Jan 2018 · 203
5:00 AM
Stella Jan 2018
Brushing the hour of dawn
Bare legs exposed to cold air
Tripping on a weathered brick
Skin raptured and red seeping
"Oh! How convenient idiocy was.
Sometimes it got you before you even could."

Only the little thing would know
The way her golden eyes watched on
as the clown wobbled in, one hand stretched out over it's own mess
No one got it quite like her
'One fascinating creature pretending to be whole, paying no heed to the cracks'
Dec 2017 · 201
God
Stella Dec 2017
God
He's your only shoulder to gracelessly fall on
When the moon's light is gaining
The only one you're fine to slump against
When nothing's to find you carved up

That creature who gnaws through our sensibility
That we generally pay no heed
When the sky's glaring down at you
You can't care anymore
My legs dangle down from the same old fence
Yet I still see the same shadow
Dec 2017 · 183
Unrequited Conditions
Stella Dec 2017
There's a little dint I'm not proud of
With you, I'll keep on a bland show
Only within, free to be

Why couldn't I let myself fall out?
Year after year, soda in freezer
Oh, that kind doormat I was
Reputation of most obedient pet
Meanwhile, the dark side of the moon
My brothers' sanity in large tow
Dec 2017 · 242
Mild Forecast
Stella Dec 2017
Look out, looming man
I'm on my sure way

That radiates off you
When you don't mind longing
For golden fields and blooming fruit

Does an ambitious soul dread it?
Filing the dawn edge that'll dull at the close of dusk
Soon broken by a lost sun
We all have those mild days
Dec 2017 · 316
Bedridden
Stella Dec 2017
You'd ask me
Hey, how 'bout this evening?
I'd chuckle bitterly
Nah, so very sorry
I'm busy today
There are just too many things

Indeed, It was a simple excuse
Suppose if it fooled me
It would do it for you

In bed, gazing at the chipped lilac
Sheets reflecting one's disposition
Disoriented, down and done
Cough till the cows come home
Stress cheekbones a little
Part the ripped lip
Enjoy nostrils red as his roses
Dec 2017 · 363
Highway Line
Stella Dec 2017
I don't know if I want it to linger
Or to fog up as this subtle reminder
But all I can believe in now
Is my fear of no more

By chance my body had to be turned
So I could watch this horrific demonstration
So I could be a useless witness
Thrown away by my helpless position,
and with no way of knowing their condition

Today, I have a fresh scar
Today, I'm afraid to start
Real life experience

— The End —