He takes a second to step aside
He takes a moment to see his lie
And he decides to take a turn this time
But really, he doesn’t know if it’s for the worst
If it’ll be his demise, if it’s just his curse, at work

No one has really known his mind
And no one’s ever seen his eyes
And no one ever thinks behind
Not quite like he’s questioned why
But for them, it’s his own mind’s pride

He wants to close his eyes
But he can feel it in the prize
He can feel it in his tries
So will you step aside
To at least let him try

I use to let your care pass by
without a second glance
at the depths of your words.
You asked me how I'm doing,
genuinely and loving,
but I had convinced myself
no one truly cares.
It's just something you say,
I thought,
empathy is obsolete.
But you saw this in me,
I believe,
so you showed me
that you're not okay.
Then you told me
what you say.
And I'm still learning
how to say these words,
even as evil
continues to destroy.
"I choose joy."

There are several books inside my mind,
one of which is a turning tide.
There are many rooms inside my dreams,
one where I balance on ceiling beams.
There are a couple bookshelves in my head,
one that hangs merely by a thread.

I have instances in my reality,
where I hold my breath cowardly.
I have a voice inside me, disguised,
that says I am a mad man and lies.
I have moments that tear me down,
so I fall and drown.

I have a God who fights my battles,
but still my head spins and rattles.
I've developed a tendency to do my own doing,
and that's why my fears are moving.
They move through the night out of sight.
But in reality, my hope is never losing.

this is your story
do not be ashamed
may this be the telling of your journey
let your hands open up like gates
and your fingers flow like streams
your plams, the palette on which you walk
the ground on which you scrape up paint
and you stroke your fingers
against the canvas your Creator has made
so may forests grow
and mountains be lifted
may oceans part
and the waters be stilled
by gentle kisses of reminiscence
and the introspection
of our heart's rythmic hum
all by the grace and power of God
because these poems are your story
so do not be ashamed
instead, may this be the telling of His glory

I will stay with you tonight
Keep you close 'til morning light
Dawn will come, don't close your eyes
We will watch the new day rise

Come, Autumn, on September wings
     Come, the quixotic aura this season brings
Welcome, the golden harvest, and its plentiful reap
     Welcome, turning of the foliage, falling to paint
     golden streets
Transpire, crisp air, with your sway in timber tops
     Befall us, pumpkin skies, where the sun drops
Betide to me, the lull and composure from you,
     calmest breeze
     Make yourself known, won't you please?
Recieve gladly, the crackling of fire beneath a silver
     moon
     Embrace the little things, for they will go away
     soon
Welcome, fall, the enigmatic emotion as the season
     starts
     Welcome fall, with open hands and blithe hearts
Come, Autumn, with the romantic feelings you stir
     Come Autumn, I hope to be lost in the ambience
     that is her

I write some things,
          and it seems so worthless
I say something,
       and it feels so wordless
  Maybe that's the purpose
Memories formless,
              deep thought verses
       Thinking comes to surface
     Rhyming to    plead something
                     Writing but I
               say nothing    I have
   not forgot            You're all I   got
Just trying to                           all stop
                       make the doubts
            So be  fore    you
                              go        --
      ­               don't walk away
   Eventually I will  have
                            l       ines       to
         offer      y  o u     But  you
    must stay --  be here         for
           what I       ' m
   go                           ing           thr
              oughSta_y.  by   my
s   I. de             &
             give*     Me   ~ timeYou
         mustKn     ow  that
                   my brain
may be    _   sick   . .   .   but I'll
                              be okay  .

The moon has his bad days,
and sometimes he must go away,
but look how much he shines,
even in the darkest of times.
He has scars too,
but look how bright
he is in the dusk's sunlight.
So you will shine and so you will persevere,
so you will burn like a countryside star.
You will rise again because our God is near,
even when He seems so far.

This for the little brothers
And the widowed mothers
To the Sunday morning snoozers
And the gamenight losers
To the wimps in the schoolyard
And even the bullies just down the boulevard
Shake the dust.

This is for the shopfront greeters,
The youth group worship leaders,
For the early morning joggers and the late night bike riders,
And for the boy who's crush loves someone else
For milk crate ball players,
And for the wallflower haters
Plant the forests.

To the sleepers and the dreamers,
And to the bed-wetters,
As well as the lonely love letters
To the broken hearts who write poems
And the broken souls that stole them
To men who work for a family they never see
And girls who want a lover but they'll never be
Split the seas.

For the heavens you have lived and the hells you felt you have gone through,
For the demons who have overcame and the ones yet to be overcome
For the ones who have stuck with the Lord all the same
And the ones who don't yet know His name
For the fair-weather friends the friends 'til the end
The overnighters and the stories told at campfires
Move the mountains.

This is to the poet, and lovers who don't yet know it
To the writers but it's just a hobby,
The Debbie Downers who can't stop me
This is for the authors whose books is left unread on dusty shelves
And the girls who hate the look of themselves
To the ones, that when it rains, they choose to sing
And the winter you must endure to reach the spring
Shake the dust.

This is to all of you,
and I will say it again: shake the dust.
Because from the dust you were made,
and to the dust you will return.
So let this poem not be mere words that barely flow,
may this poet not just be another kid,
too quixotic to change the world.
But might my poetry be the notes
which your words are carried by.
Let them swing and sway,
a piece to our battlecry,
some sylable in your life story.
Because from the dust you will rise,
so carry the dirt with you
and take the world by storm,
for the ground you scrape from your palms
is the story you form.

I'm better today than I have been
But I can't expect it again to happen
Lately it's been worse than it has in a while
But I know it's just my faith under trial
I've been tested like a ship at sea
The winds and the waves have come to suit me
But I won't let the ocean pull me asunder
Gravestones won't burry me and take me under
In time I know I'll recover
Recently I've been worse than I usually am
I wonder if I've chosen it
Or if I can choose not to think this way--
How to undo it if I can
I know the night will come again
But to play a part in the dark will not happen
I can't choose every moment to live in the day
Even if I tell myself to think that way,
The feeling won't stay
One day I will get over this wall of stone
Though I know I'm so far from home
For now, I am fighting to reach the morning light
One day, I know, I will leave behind this night

You, at some point, my dear friend, gave your sight to the bottom of the ocean
As you let the winds and the waves take you under
But still, even in your darkest night, the sea bed will not let you in
So you close your eyes, praying that you may still drift asunder
And embrace the darkness in which you swim

My friend,
I have not gone through the valleys of which you speak, and have not known the depths you are meaning,
But still I feel for you,
Because each of us is a human being,
And the pain you feel is nothing new.

So, friend, take you hands from over your eyes
for me. You may not want to hear my voice,
so I will pray for you silently, and offer
my presence. So will you take my
hand? Even if you choose to
leave instead, still: one
day you will stand,
and I will pray
until you
see the
light.

You may be conviced
You'll like it better when you're sleeping
But please hear this
Don't give to the blink
When I did, I found myself sinking
I fell asleep, internally bleeding
Don't start thinking
You may believe your sea is far too dark
But redemption is not that far
From the dark I turned to pleading, repeatedly
Asking desperately
"Come save me!"
And now I'm free

I use to let the eyes in the dark
Creep in my concious and part my heart
I would feed the stomach in my brain
Feasting on the thought that I'm insane
I'd lock myself in another room
As I would enter a state of gloom
I would write to rid a mind of wrong
Turns out the eyes would read along

How many times must I
take it into my own hands
to burry my sin?

I pry at my terrain,
digging up graves
to throw my mind inside.

But the whole in my soil
is far too shallow,
so when the night comes and the rain falls,
I look down at the dirt
I've scrapped from my palms,
and find that my
****** bones
have resurfaced.

Do I not see
I am digging holes in my hands,
a trench within my mind?

Why have I not
laid my shovel down,
when Christ has already
etched in my tombstone
my sin, that's dead?

I cannot avoid the night.
I cannot outrun the rains.
But I can send all my sin
His way.

I want to fall inside
of You,
and fill up all the holes
in my hands,
revive all the graves
inside my mind.

She wished

                                                  to speak

but



                                          "Sometime­s
                                                    it's hard to find the words.
                             words don't really describe how you feel,






     She tried              but couldn't.

     "I'm fine. Really, I am."

I'm fearful when I play our song alone
I'm careless when wear our rebel clothes
I'm ready when we sing this on the low
They'll try to make you give in, but
The demons don't control us
I'm lonely when we forget about our revel
I'm zealous when we go marching in our yellow
I'm steady when covered by my fellow rebels

The blind can't learn to see
by opening their eyes
I can't abolish this gloom
by putting on a disguise
But through faith and trust
I can find my Lord
I will remain in prayer to Him
and abide in His Word

Once again, I've found myself up against a wall
I know because I've done it all before
Play pretend, I hear voices linger down the hall
I don't feel like doing this anymore
Can you hear the voice inside me?
I don't want to call you when the sun sets
I won't show you all my pieces
I refuse to give you my troubles
I neglect to let loose all my demons
Can you hear what my tongue claims?
Do you feel what I'm trying to say?
It calls you by name
Asking you to stay

Sometimes I go to a song,
or a person,
or a section of Scripture
when I don't feel so good
A place of safety and comfort
Perhaps you do too
whether it be a song,
a poem,
a place--
whatever it may be
A place to get away from the world
for just a few minutes
to recharge
to meditate
to take a deep breath--
whatever you may do

So here's a poem for us
a reminder
a hiding place
A place where the world can't get to you,
where you can drown it out,
where you can replinish,
At least for a few seconds,
before stepping into the world again
with open hands
A place of safety and comfort
To have,
but not to keep
Promise me that

Tower of Silence - Track 10

Intro
(( Stay low ))

Pre-Chorus
Stay low, stay low
They say to shut the fire in my bones
I know, I know
If my bones are Yours, the fire, will grow

Chorus
I wasted time, I wasted death
I think I thought myself of breath
I need to stand, I need to fight
I need to move again tonight

Verse 1
No one to confide, hiding behind walls that confine
A system where I’m walled in
A rhythm that keeps me in depression
Oppressed, restrained to digress
No, I don’t desire to—this pattern I craft fire to
A wall in my way that obstructs my view
Contained by the lies that set my life in skew
With the help of my Blood I’ll reach the top
With the sound of our Kind we won’t fear the drop

Pre-Chorus
Stay low, stay low
They say to shut the fire in my bones
I know, I know
If my bones are Yours, the fire, will grow

Chorus
I wasted time, I wasted death
I think I thought myself of breath
I need to stand, I need to fight
I need to move again tonight

Verse 2
Sometimes I’m able to see the other side
Then I’ll look back and find my mind is tied
These lies convince me I can’t get over the wall
They hype up the doubts and make me fear I’ll fall
Could it all just be one of these schemes
To make me believe in such silly things
What I say when I wanna be more
Make a move and make a break for it
Take a spray can and leave your mark man
Stand up and step out into our plan
Opportunity does not make me certain
But what I’m certain in is, we will will
We can leave this society
Join me in the face of anarchy
Help me destroy our old world
Join with me to build a new one
Rise up and fulfill your duty
Join me in Exarcheia

Break
Wake up—Give up
Rise up—GiVE IN
(((Remember, remember)))

Bridge
(( It seems so fun to let the worry inside
I can’t get the darkness out of my life, anyways
So maybe I should give in
Fancy the dark—it’s a habit
So maybe I should do it anyways ))

Verse 3
So let’s take this energy, this emotion this notion this dependency
Use it, to chose it, for others to lose it
stAY LOw, they say to hold our hope at bay
I know, but I don’t know if the spirits should stay
Demons in this room, should they stay or should they go?
Eyes in the dark, are they friend or are they foe?
Man gave names to all the animals, so no wonder we give names to our own
To what’s not in sight of our candles, what is hidden deep in our bones
It was man that labeled all the beasts, we crafted the dark on which we feast
Was it our duty to name our demons, could this have any sort of meaning
We’ve named the monsters under our bed
For some reason, it’s the blood beneath our skin
And we’ve neglected His blood instead
We’re only engraving our own extinction

Hook
( Though I am weak, still I need to stay moving
Still I need to stay moving )

Verse 4
You are tired, you are bruised
Your world is blurred, and so confused
Don’t give in to these neon lamps
Loneliness hyped and darkness vamped
The blackness seems to inspire
With the nihility we don’t desire
They lure you into a heatless light
You my friend must stand and fight
You, my Kind, you know both sides
I know it’s hard, the silence intensified
So raise your hands up even higher
I know your arms are tired and they have your ankles bound
So stay low to the ground and we’ll leave the freezing fire
Whether it’s the easy way or the hard way, it’s time
To decide which side of the battle you’ll side with
And I promise you, friends, the latter is mine

Hook
Though I am weak, still I need to stay moving
Still I need to stay moving

Pre-Chorus
Stay low, stay low
They say to shut the fire in my bones
I know, I know
If my bones are Yours, the fire will grow

Hook
Though I am weak, still I need to stay moving
Still I need to stay moving
Though I am weak, still I need to stay moving
Still I need to stay—

(( We need to move again tonight )) .

He doesn’t need me, but oh the beauty
That He chooses, us to be tools of
His light, to glorify, and lift Him high
And so I try, to testify the sky
With all my might, but my might will die
And even with all His strength
It still does not quite reach
My capability to make you see
To praise Him in my humanity
But I try to personify, Him and His glory
So one day you can see the full story

This is why I really hate the weekends
Because I'm faced with all my demons
They've been gone for a while
The silence is when I'm put under trial
When I'm tossed into this parched land
But I'll hold tightly onto the water in my hand
I'll rely on the peace granted through the pain
Like a drought awaits Your replenishing rain

I’ve been listening to music late at night lately
It hasn’t really helped me deal with the coffee
The songs bore, and even the new are dull
To the core, I don’t think I know between lull

Climb down
No, sympathy is not enough right now
How could you sleep?
I hope you're dead, yourself
If you'll only show up
Once we're done breathing

I always look forward
to the luminous poems
you poets display.
But when I checked
my home page,
all I saw were thoughts
of suicide and deep
emotions of hopelessness
today. It churns my
stomach and burdens
my heart to see you
this way. There's a
place in my soul for
you, but that place
for yourself in your
own is filled with
decay.  You wish to
place a bullet in your
brain, but you're afraid
it will just ricochet around
in your head. You'r diseased
with what's behind your skull--
a dark black stain,
and it's true, we will
never know what you
fear for, laying in bed.
Nobody thinks what you
think--no one. And I'm
afraid empathy is on the
verge of extinction. I
know it's hard to say, I
understand it's not easy
to unbottle what's inside,
I get that it's even a
burden to let go of
what is safer to hide.
Stay alive for me, that's
all I want you to do,
stay with me, and I'll
try to save you. But
the truth is, I can't,
I can only be here
by your side as you
face down the hell
you're going through.
So I will stand here
at the edge of your
trench. I will do all
I can. But you must
fight. You must not
let these demons
take you down. It's
not easy. But I'll be
up here. I'll send
down my poems,
hoping to help
cast them out.
And when morning
comes, I'll be offering
my hand. We will stand
again, sharpening our
weapons for when the
sun reaches its grave.
But friend, you must first
live through this night.
Stay alive for me, please.

I'm afraid of my voice
Of what it may sound like
I'm scared to death of what you'll think
Because it could be the death of me
I must take it slowly
Or I'll lose it

I never really understood
Why you like coffee anyway
Having something so cold and bitter
To start your day

Or maybe it's just me
Acustomed to the customs of this world
A product of this day and age
And that why I couldn't see

A past so dark and dreary
Shown in your eyes cold and weary
Weak and beaten down
You fell away beneath the sound

To live again another day
In the quiet cliché of this café
Within the solitude of your own creation
You view the world through your imagination

That's why you would take a sip of bitterness
In this jaded and abstracted mind of yours
Now the only bridge to entity you'll let through
A gentle reminiscent of reality's grim kiss

I wonder if it's still you,
because no one else seems to fit.

I once was a Heaver, just like you
Lost in a sea of solemn blue

My boat capsized at an early age
My mind was so detatched I barely remember this stage

Slowly I found my way back to shore
But I sometimes fear I'll end up like before

The night will haunt me still, with things I've overcome
The dark reminds me of what I can still become

So you see, I've had scars where a light is shone
And I've rowed in a sea that was not my own

I have found my breath and now I give it to you
A blot of yellow in your solemn blue

I'm burning, but still cold
Is it concerning
I'm tending to this fire
But it never grows much higher
All I want is a spark
An ember in the dark
You are my torch in this dry space
Be my light between two places
I don't want to walk alone
As I find my way back home

No, I don't have writers block
I just felt pressure under the clock
As if there was an audience I have to please
Give me some time to think this through, please
I have not run out of art
I'm just looking into the beat
The blood has not stilled in my heart
I'm just trying to get back up on my feet

I think it would be neat to be like Banksy
To leave my mark on the world, still unknown
You won't know when I come or when I've gone
And no, don't ask me to write for your honor
You can't erase truth so don't prove me wrong
It's not prossible to bend reality and twist meaning
Just listen to my voice in what you're reading
My message known, but I don't want the glory
I'd give my real name, because I don't want a mask
But I don't want to hear any of the praise
God gave me gifts, so if anything, glorify Him
And I don't care for any of the ridicule
I'll tell you right now, my words won't be lenient
I don't want my name to be heard
I want my voice to be listened to

Hand me a paddle,
because you're not in this boat alone.
Your sea was once beautiful and blue,
but now rages where darkness has grown.
May I recall to you the rainbow,
that will show above these waters of emotion.
God's promise of our salvation,
and that He will not let you drown in this ocean.

I have stepped out onto the railroad station
I had found my train, after contemplation
Inside my heart, a feeling for two is stored
My only question: will you take me aboard?

She told me goodnight, and I wished her sweet dreams
But I'm not going to sleep for some time
I will stay up with the addict I locked in a cage
And as I do, I promise you I'll keep safe as his words unwind
To benefit the world in some way, through pen and page

I wonder if it's still you,
because you're the one I still dream about.

Why I cannot tell you,
I do not know.
Why I can't bear to speak,
I'm not sure.
Why I can only communicate my soul this way,
I don't understand.
Why this is the only language I'm fluent in,
I have no clue why.
This is why I seek out people who speak like me,
born with a stranger's tongue,
a dialect not many can comprehend.
This is why I can only talk to them,
sending riddles and broken words
even they may not understand.
It's why I don't perceive the language of this world,
but only the coded words found deep in art.

You,
My counterpart,
My blood,
My muse,
I was born with you,
And I will fight by your side.
I will go with you,
And I will die for you.
You are the reason my heart burns,
You are the reason my stomach churns.
For what the world does to you.
You beautiful ocean,
And you don't even realize
The world dumps garbage
Into your great sea.
You are loved.
By me, and more importantly,
You are loved by God.
He wants a relationship with you.
Don't think so?
He made you,
And Christ died
So you could belong to Him.
And I hope to be His vessel,
Here to tell you just how much you are loved.
And you are my muse,
Here for a reason you do not yet know.

I'm down in the dumps
In this trench I have made for myself
Why?
What is this thing?--this ambiguity?
Why is it here? Where'd it come from?
Why am I in it?
Is this real, or am I making it up?
What are these thoughts? Depression?
Is it coming back?
I don't know.
But the world doesn't care--
It still throws garbage onto me
I feel it pile up
And I can only ask,
Why am I not fighting it?

I've never been one for conflict;
I'd even say I'm a chill dude.
But when I feel like someone's
blowing smoke between you
and me, I get a feeling I can't
describe, but all I know is if
they try something, I'll call in
the rest of our cavalry.