Zan Balmore
Zan Balmore
1 day ago

What's the problem?
Root out psychic weakness for clarity.
Get a clue. Find fear with his pants pulled down.
Grease him up. Marvel at the grasp you have
When it is your grasp is cast. Take control.
Write it out. Of a pen, venom dipped, or on LCD.
Create targets. Release your load. Watch what
You thought killed you explode. Say your prayer.
Kiss dementia on the cheek. Find your tools
To craft relief, send your sinking self to sea
Sit on the water, in twilight above and far gone.
Wait for that bony fingered knock again,
That shit is infinitely recurrent.

#suicide   #prayer   #the   #suffer   #venom   #dementia   #twilight  
Ami Shae
Ami Shae
2 days ago

Dropping to my knees in prayer to a god
who might or might not be listening--
hoping somehow the ache in my heart
will reverberate far enough along
as my tears are streaming, glistening
and find their way through
the silent waves of grief and worry
that envelop and grip my heart
to find god's undivided attention
for just a moment or two--
"dear god, I beg of you--
stop all the pain that has its clutches
upon many of our throats in this land
and swipe away all tears
with your mighty hand
and please, please if you can see through
to the core of me now
do the magic that they say you can do
and heal not just myself
but the many many others too
who are in pain, bereft and alone,
who are in dire need of your love, in need of You."

My heart just feels so heavy for so many who are suffering/worried/hurt/living in pain. If god is real, then why doesn't he heal? (No offense meant to anyone, I just wish things were better for those in our world, for ALL those here on HP).
#love   #prayer   #need   #pain   #god   #tears   #core   #amen  
Hailey Allen
Hailey Allen
7 days ago


Hope is a sparrow on the deck ledge,
Praying her chicks will fly off the edge.

Hope is an old cat in an animal rescue,
Longing for a compassionate person like you.

Hope is a child wishing for some friends,
Once the game of freeze tag ends.

Hope is a poor man on the street
With a desire to hear a song so upbeat.

Hope is what most people want and gain,
Even through trial and storm and rain.


With hope, faith, prayer, and determination, I convinced my family to get a dog. It took a lot of work, but I did it. But only with the help of God.
#prayer   #god   #hope   #faith   #determination  
7 days ago

Jesus, I trust in you! Jesus, I trust in your Divine Providence. Allow me to be open enough to allow you to work and move in and through me.

Jesus, I trust in you! Jesus, I trust in your Divine Will in my life. Help me to follow and walk with you especially when I cannot feel you near or see the path before me.

Jesus, I trust in you! Jesus, I trust in your Divine Joy. Guard me to remain ever joyful and kindle in me to look at life with childlike faith and joy.

Jesus, I trust in you! Jesus, I trust in your Divine Peace. In a world with chaos and commotion at every side, remind me of the peace I find when I focus on you.

Jesus, I trust in you! Jesus, I trust in your Divine Mercy and Grace. I don't deserve it and can't earn it, but you give it anyway. Help me thank you by doing the same for others.

Jesus, I trust in you! Jesus, I love you! Jesus, I adore you! I need not fear because Jesus you are FOR me.

Jesus, I trust in YOU!


inspired in part by the divine mercy chaplet (Jesus, I trust in you!)

I do pray for something but
in the end, nothing comes
I fight the urge while waking
through the tepid days,
that I deserve the specific
happiness of feeling hand
and mouth to skin
The wish,
ceaseless, I crave nothing more
And I
do pray for nothing so
in the end, all is dust

In the end, I
Means altogether nothing
Baptize me with water, then
Waste washing downward from heaven in rain

Ascetic by accident, boiling over
Up from down below
#prayer   #in   #i   #heaven   #wish   #no   #dust   #team   #ascetic  

Words pile up
like  a  puzzel
I'm not sure
where they fit anymore
They seem all broken
into tiny pieces
as they line up along my soul
Slowly inching their way
Plunging deep
Slicing my heart
As words slip inside
my veins
Running constantly through
till they reach the other side
of my brain
Exploding words
to touch the sun inside my eyes
Where they burn
Leaving black holes within
my head
Thinking I am dead
Yet words flow through my mouth
to touch my soul
Tracing it's path along the bridge
into the great divide

I am finally alive.

By Weeping willow

Words never stop in me,if they did I think I would burst.
Always thinking,Reading,Praying.
It's a constant moving within.

I don’t know when it started.

I don’t know when it ended.

It began when they started shooting.

It began when they started rioting.

We ran for cover under bullet fire and fear.

We listened to our screams as mobs sneered and jeered.

Terror captivated us when they slammed us to the ground.

Horror gripped us when they became bloodthirsty hounds.

Familiar slurs echoed through our hearts and minds.

They kept throwing punches, blurring our moral lines.

Helpless when they smiled their cruel smiles.

Helpless to preserve the peace for a while.

Beaten down by the ones who were supposed to protect us.

Beaten down by the ones we were supposed to protect.

Then they started shooting again.

Then they started shooting again.

We have to protect ourselves, to fight for what’s right.

We have to protect ourselves, to fight for what’s right.

Give into our righteous sins.

Embrace primitive instincts from within.

Turn ourselves into demons.

And pretend we weren’t heathens.

We can’t afford to listen.

Or watch fallen tears glisten.

Sing to our loved ones a song of pain.

Weigh our hearts for those we’ve slain.

Hope for the days when we can love each other again.

But for now, we need to pray for the freedoms we still defend.

A poem about police brutalities and racism/excessive patriotism/isolationism between ethnic and racial tensions. This poem is how I feel about it.

I am God
There are none like Me
The strength of My might is immeasurable
The breadth of My knowledge unknowable
My children I protect
My followers I love
None whom I take into My hand I forsake
Blessed are those, O Lord, who hear Your voice!
Be not absent from my mind!
But have patience and be of slow words
For Your servant, Lord, can only write haltingly
I give the dumb speech
To the blind I give sight
The deaf hear again with My touch
My children pass like breaths
But I am eternal
Speak to the God who listens
Oh merciful God, blessed be Your name!
Holy are You that takes the time to listen to my speech
My enemies are forfeit, my mockers destroyed
The God of Abraham, of Isaac, of Jacob, of Moses, of Noah
Graciously, mercifully listens to a babbler, a fool
Humble my heart O Lord
That my words might be pleasing to You
Listen to my prayer, O God
And hide Yourself not from my supplication!
Attend to me and answer me;
I am restless and distraught in my complaint
And must moan
Lord to Your servant David You would answer
Answer now my pleas, though my heart be crude and unfit
Lord do You see Your child?
He is tormented day and night by thoughts of You
Your hands molded him into being
His heart You placed in his chest and it was made to worship You
But he is attacked and harassed
Lord how he despairs so unjustly!
Deep into the mire has he sunk
He is trapped there in agony
And the prince of lies is his companion
Into his ears demons whisper day and night
Lord, do not abandon him!
You made him to love, to worship You!
His heart You love, his mind You made
What gifts You have blessed him with!
Then how now does he suffer?
Forsake me not, O Lord!
O my God, be not far from me!
Make haste to help me, O Lord!  My salvation!
This heart bleeds and weeps at his suffering
In my insolence I thought it was I who could free him from his pain
But no, it is You!
God will you crush him too?
Destroy his oppressors and free his soul
He would worship and love You God, this I swear:
These eyes have seen, these ears have heard
All is in alignment, he is made to be your most devoted follower
Let him worship You Lord, for this is right
Forgive him his tresspasses, forgive him his sins
Let him not weep in despair
As he feels Your absence and is tortured still
Are You not his savior?
Are You not his redemption, his healer?
God, Your lover, Your bride weeps to see Your abandonment
She cries to see Your glory
Her pleading will never cease
Till Your mercy is shown
And he is freed from his suffering
And back into the tender care of Your loving arms
She will plead until You are glorified
And Your children love You as one
Hold back not Your glory
Love Your children
Forget them not in Your wrath, o Lord
May Your mercy come down like a cloud
And Your love as a rain
Amen and amen
Glory to You forever and ever, o God

#prayer   #god   #please   #remember   #to   #children   #your  

Send some rain, please God send some rain
For the earth is dry and needs to drink again --
And I know not how to speak to You anymore
I’ve run and run and run from You
I have feared, disgraced, shunned, and longed for You
All in single breaths, all in one gasp
There is too much, Lord
This wall is too thick
Too high, too strong
The gate is shut and I know not, remember not, the key
Did I hold the palette knife, Lord?
Was it I that mixed the concrete and placed the bricks?
Who drew those plans?
There is not a day I remember
Where I decided to shut down and shut off and shut away
The people on the outside
Things are safer on the inside, this I know
That this mind is a trap and this body is a bomb
But at least it isn’t as frightening as the ones outside --
But no, that isn’t true
I’ve seen how this mind will break and this body will fail
How the counter keeps ticking down down down
How I will run out of tape and glue to piece
These cracked halves and splinters back again
I’ve watched myself snap, teeth bared and nails out
Primitive and carnal, ready to destroy and kill;
Sluggish, depleted, apathetic, incapable, laying on the floor
Wheezing breath in and out, body crumpled to the ground
He says he loves me
God, isn’t that hysterical?
I have fallen too far for people to love me, o God
I have not quality
Nor quantity to make up for it
I don’t know how to feel safe with others
How to trust and how to love
Perpetually planning, there is a degree of calculation
In every move I make, every word I speak, every breath I take
The alarm bells will not stop -- stop! -- ringing
Everyone is faulty, everyone is dangerous
I cannot make them safe to me
Or this odious warning system
I write to feel
I speak to find help
But I am not better
I am not alright
God, are You out there?
They spoke of You in church this morning.
Every Sunday is another battlecry of you.
The mere mortals moralize and maneuver
They built their society on You,
But lost You in their rules --
Hell is empty, all the devils are here --
The Sadducees live again in this century, o Lord
I know His was only a single ticket
But perhaps there is another plane He could take, God
I was told this wall needed to descend for You, God
“Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”
But I have never reached for You
You know this, I know this
I am looping round and round
This reads more like a child’s diary entry than a poem
A confused convoluted confession
Not a profession, a solution, a heartfelt love
My God, You have got to save me
Medication might save or destroy my brain
But it will touch not my soul
I don’t know how to love
You love me
Could You teach me what it means?
God I would serenade You for Your love
David’s desperation and my muted, confused despair are one:
Save me, O God!
For the waters have come up to my neck.
I sink in deep mire,
Where there is no standing;
I have come into deep waters,
Where the floods overflow me.
I am weary with my crying;
My throat is dry;
My eyes fail while I wait for my God.

#depression   #prayer   #need   #god   #anxiety   #a   #to   #despair  

I wonder that Moses could counsel You
Could argue with You and You would listen
I know no other God that would allow
For argument and pleading
For His subjects to speak and be heard
Do You know my prayers, O Lord?
Even to me they’re muddled and confused
Do You know what Your daughter needs?

Lord I am afraid to be Your servant
Because the masters You gave by birth-rite
Like to pull out the costumes and play
But to answer my confusion, they explain everything,
Their words and actions by saying, “WE ARE GOD.”
You said, “I AM WHO I AM.”
They are not who they are.

Send some rain?  Would You send some rain?
‘Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again –
And Your daughter cries out for Your direction,
Discretion, and mercy.  There is no light
To lead me out of the dark
I have lost my way and am afraid
To search lest the way home …
Lead to them.

My sanity is not what it used to be, Lord.
Gentle kindness shushes me into quiet
But cannot soothe away the cracks in my brain.
She fears for her sanity but I wonder at mine
Contemplate how much sick I won’t be able to drain
From my cranium even when my body is aged
And legality bids me crawl out of this house to bitter freedom.

I am so tired, Lord.
I forget it sometimes when I don’t slow down
And then it soaks back in and I stare and stare
And contemplate how much I don’t have
And how little I have left for them to take.
I don’t know what will make me break:
No music?  No school?  No friends?  No escape to Your safe places?
But I remind myself here and now that I have always been melodramatic –
Haven’t I, Lord?  I tell myself that to puzzle it out and stall
The choking panic and confused tears that drill into me
And scratch their way bleeding up through my throat – I am TRAPPED
But I’ve always been so silly
And they would add ungrateful and a liar
No one has the answers I cannot find the answers
Honor and obey, You said, but what if they’re wrong?
Am I right?  Am I right?!
I cannot speak cannot stand – I will melt into compliance and silence
And remind myself that I am wrong, a bad daughter
That I am above myself and that’s it’s just all in my head –
But the cycle will continue.

Lord, I’m so tired –
Of hopelessness and not planning for a future because
I don’t think I have one
I’m tired –
Of self-inducing apathy as a cure to panic like it were a drug
To slip into my veins till my heart’s pumped it through my dulling senses
Help me, please
I haven’t felt You in so long …

On occasion, I write my prayers and solicitations to God in the forms of free verse poetry.
#depression   #prayer   #god   #anxiety   #a   #to   #parents   #trauma  
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