What could they do?
What would they say?
I have scars all over
My blemished flesh
Would they shun me?
For being more in tune to my suffering
Would they send me away?
Shove a pill past my lips
And tell me I'm okay

I just want to feel hope again
Want to be washed clean
Of these physical scars
That have caged me
I want to let go of this
These feelings that I get
More than anything, I'd rather
Die than just pretend

I want to go home
It's a strong urge I cannot shake
But I'm sitting in my bedroom
So tell me, if this isn't home
Then what is??
Would I rather lie inside my grave?
Would I decide to wake up
and live just another day?

Could you fill my heart with hope
Instead of this sorrow that
I've come to know too well?
They can wash the blood off of my hands
But the stains on my soul
Could be never cleansed

They could try for a thousand years
To try to convince me
That this is all worth the tears
But the fact of the matter is
Nothing could ever change
Because upon my soul
Is one large black stain




#dark   #insanity   #help  

Madness is marketable,
But a quality Mental Health System
Requires public Tax Revenue to maintain.
So, Capitalism,
At its ultimate extreme
Actually FAVORS Insanity and Antisocial Behavior.
The most successful people are the biggest Assholes.....
They're the ones who can attract the most attention.

The horse (a creature of blind passion) pawed
The earth beside the silent fallen form
A digger of graves more noble yet … more odd
Than ever I had chanced to see before

His raven mane flashed in the waning light
Which time to time broke through the pressing clouds
His nodding passion and his frothing cry
Failed in their valiant efforts to arouse

Some battle fought long since had caused the wound
That took the rider from the reins at last
And left the steed unmounted in a world
Unknown by journey or by battles past

Dark senses now compelled the ungripped beast
To travel far from sounds of master’s fray
And find some place of tranquil rest at last
Sweet reason’s constant battle’s lost this day

Unreined, unburdened, free to roam at will
The creature’s innate knowledge must prevail
To take the place of Master’s hard learned skill
And keep blind passion on an earthly trail

And I’ll forever follow down this trail
Where passion always leads the lost and least
For I have lost my Master’s voice today
And I am now this roaming, riderless beast

Copyright 2003, Brian Densham
#broken   #passion   #loss   #insanity  
Mar 20

I'm sitting with a band.
A semi innocent dream,
simply I'm sitting with a band,
I'm listening to them chat and talk about their music,
I'm sitting with a band,
in a large Hall listening to guitar riffs and singing on the stage,
I'm sitting with a band of disappointments,
I'm sitting with a band of liars and cheaters,
I'm sitting with a band of me.
I'm sitting with a brand on my shoulder,
claiming me to a life I do not want, I'm sitting with a band around my chest,
making it hard for me to breathe,
but at least,
at least
I'm me,
I'm sitting by a  band that follows me,
Invisibly. talking music and poetry in a waiting room. while someone blares,
their shitty rap music.

Josh you're out of the band
#short   #sad   #depression   #rap   #music   #insanity   #meaning   #insane   #band   #amxiety  
Mar 18

I didn't think
it would be
like this
wandering waiting
pacing and impatiently stating
I'm not supposed to be here.

My hands
stopped trembling
years ago.
from the rest
Its for the best
they say
as they force the pills
down every day
I'm not supposed to be here.

Every word
my inability to conform
Imprisoned physically
for in-dependency
my mind
does not need
hypocritical parasitical
way of thought.
I'm not supposed to be here.

#society   #mind   #insanity   #conform  

Is it so bad to be the way I am?
I can barely convince myself
To get out of bed
If I'm not sleeping all day

To be reminded to eat
Or reminded what happened yesterday

I get so dizzy, I fall down
Get so tired that my whole body
Shuts down

And there are even days
When I hate myself
So strongly, that I want nothing more than to punish myself for living
I don't even want to die out of pity
But I feel like I am so toxic
That I deserve to die
I deserve all the pain the world has to offer

When anything bad happens in my life
Anymore, I don't hardly get upset
I merely accept it, and say that's what I get
For being who I am

I don't even want to live
I'm so high on medication
And yet I can't image lasting
One moment in my natural mind

I want to die
I want to die
I think about it all the time
Look into my eyes
And tell me it'll be alright
It'll only be another lie

#suicide   #death   #insanity   #toxic  

Opening your locker when you forgot your books,
Judging people's intelligence just based off their looks.

It's insanity I tell you, this world is run by fools.
Teaching kids they can get by,
And don't need to go to school.

And we wonder why the suicide rate is high,
we wonder why people want to die.
When you look around you'll see why,
The rulers want to make us cry.

#suicide   #death   #insanity   #looks   #fools   #rulers  

It hurts  
So bad
Why? Why ?
Why me ?
I ask over and over
My insanity has crept in
Like a demon in my shadow
Do they realise what they've done?
Cause I think I lost myself
I feel so numb but there is still an ache
And it only comes in the lonely hour
My screams are blood curdling
My tears glisten in the moon light
And my nightmares come ......
Then I wake up
I put on  my mask
Till once again the lonely hour comes

Is this just me ?

I've never wanted
To die
So badly
In my stupid life
Things could go wrong
Or maybe even
But it doesn't
Change the urge I feel inside

I want to
Take that step
To explore with the dead
With no feelings
No regrets
I want to end
This toxic existence
I live

I am the enemy
This time
For once, not the victim
The antagonist
In the tragic tale
That ends in blood
Staining the walls
The floors

More than anything
I want to go out
In colors
Of passionate red
As my life
Flows from my veins
I'll only be glad
I'm ending your pain

Mar 14

I am in control of my sanity...
   like a drunk man is in control of his driving

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