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Jan 2016 · 256
I hope you're wrong
CE Jan 2016
are you trying to tell me something?

I mean, if I'm right

you know I'll see these signs

are you trying to warn me?

or am I just reading too deep

while you're trying to prove something to yourself?
Jan 2016 · 261
PSYCHOPATHIC TENDENCIES
CE Jan 2016
just you watch

it will fall to the ground like bodies riddled with bullets

and somebody is going to be laughing at the other side of it
It's scaring me, it's really scaring me.
Jan 2016 · 624
I DON'T TRUST ANY OF IT
CE Jan 2016
I hope you're telling the truth,
I really do

But I can't think about anything else

why am I any different?

I can enjoy it while it lasts, sure

but all in all

what am I?

Am I anything more

than another tree

in your forest of dark things?
Jan 2016 · 372
Didn't you used to be fun?
CE Jan 2016
"What happened to you?"
She beckons from the mirror

Her laugh is sorrowful

Her eyes are dead

"What happened to you?"
She asks
giggling like a child

I look down and sigh

"I grew up."

Her smile turns freakishly gleeful

"You did what?"
She asks again

I take a deep breath
*"I grew up"
Jan 2016 · 598
.
CE Jan 2016
.
Indifference will truly be what ends us

we all want to mean something,

Don't we?
CE Jan 2016
it doesn't mean forever

it never meant forever

I guess we both knew that,

in the end,

we will become nothing once more

and we will become dirt or stars to each other-

depending on how it all falls down

what am I even saying?

silly boy,

don't you know what you even have?

stop trying to wish it all away

be happy for once,

be grateful, perhaps?
be quiet melancholy boy, he's too loud, he needs to shut up. Nobody cares what the destroyer has to say.
Jan 2016 · 290
I [____] YOU
CE Jan 2016
YOU OWE YOURSELF HAPPINESS
FEEL SOMETHING GOOD ALREADY,

WHY DO YOU CHOOSE TO FEEL SUCH EMPTY THINGS?
CE Jan 2016
It's no good

I don't know why it's not,

it's just not enough

it is not lacking in any aspect,

don't misunderstand that

it's just

no good
no regrets / no remorse
CE Jan 2016
I will not last without you here

I cannot live alone

I cannot live without you

I can barely live at all

Please,

my guardian angel,

please don't leave me
Poor girl has to witness the only thing she ever cared about being smashed in front of her. what a shame that must be.
Jan 2016 · 300
LOUD MOUTH
CE Jan 2016
I can't stop shaking
I can't stop crying

because now I have no reason to shake or cry,

so what's the point in living?

What's the point in living

when I have no reason to complain?
shut your mouth, you little hypocrite with a victim complex.
CE Jan 2016
I can't believe you said all that

it's funny how you think you feel anything at all

you are nothing you say you are

you are not angry, you are not sad,

you are not even hollow

you're just so

you

and that's not a good thing
sorry for all the edgy poems ****
CE Jan 2016
Lying to yourself.

well done,

you actually believed you could be that way, didn't you?

You nearly fell for your own trick

the lie that

you are worth something

that you are anything but flawed

that you are strong

nice work, friend

real good work
CE Jan 2016
I AM FULL OF LOVE,

HOW COULD SUCH A THING MAKE ME FEEL SO EMPTY?
today is an overthinking day, I can tell. I'm really sorry. It's just been really bad lately, you know? It's my fault, really. I shouldn't have expected anything different.
CE Jan 2016
YOU
ARE
WEAK.

WHY
DO
YOU
THINK
YOU
MEAN
ANYTHING?
today is a bad day
CE Jan 2016
You are the way you always were

never good enough, is it?

can you stop pretending that this is okay?

can you stop pretending that you are okay with this?

*******,

you're so pathetic sometimes

I hope this is  e x a c t l y what you wanted

A reason to complain, right?

Why do you do these things
to yourself,

why?
self loathing lol
CE Jan 2016
YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL

YOU ARE SELFISH AND
AND

AND YOU'RE STUPID

AND YOU'RE AN INGRATE

AND YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE POETRY

AND YOUR FEELINGS ARE NOT AS PROFOUND AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO THINK

AND
AND
AND

YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE THIS WAY

YOU'RE WEAK

JUST

*******

DIE ALREADY

YOU DON'T DESERVE ANYTHING AT ALL*

--

he breaks down to his knees,

he thinks he should be crying but the tears will not come

he sits for a while, empty and trying to quiet down his mind

he lies down,

one phrase in his head a little louder then the rest of all the noises in the world

*"you
are
not
special"
CE Jan 2016
for the love of god
please stop making me like her

please stop bringing us together and asking where the difference is

I hate her, I do

and yet

I can't stop spewing the same crap she does

The more I try to separate her from me
the more I become her

Please, leave this state of mind

You are better then this, you are better then her

I can't believe you won't just move past these childish things

say it to me again, mr mirror

"YOU ARE NOT HER"

says her reflection
I am young and stupid, don't mind me.
Jan 2016 · 3.5k
looking through old pictures
CE Jan 2016
She was not a good photographer

Somehow she found a way to make the entire world around her ugly
Jan 2016 · 637
So long, blackbird
CE Jan 2016
You never know what your last meeting will be

With you it was nice,

We talked about silly things and the struggles we share-

The things that made us bond in the first place

We talked about the world, our gods, our eyes, everything

We talked about the way we things look to us

The fact we seemed to be colourblind in a world of spectre

And we said our goodbyes

And that was that.

So long, old friend

Have a nice day
CE Jan 2016
in finding happiness
I feel that hollow feeling again

please do not tell me that it's coming back,
how can it be?

I AM HAPPY.

how can such a thing make me feel so empty?
Jan 2016 · 277
the typical atypical
CE Jan 2016
you will always scream at us that we're fake
you'll cry that you don't understand how we work
you complain that our way of thinking is scary
you don't even try to understand us-
you all hate us so much

and it's funny really.

because while you're over there- complaining about us

you want to be us so badly and you try as hard as you can to be just like us

but you're not

and that makes us laugh

because you're always going to be that way

and we're always going to be better than you

call that narcissism? sure, why not

I call it a fact
they hate us 'cuz they ain't us
Jan 2016 · 265
woe is you
CE Jan 2016
I hope every time you see me
I hope every time you see him

You choke on your own tears for what you could of had and what you never got-

I hope you're blinded by the beauty that me and him have

I hope you see us and feel attacked by the thought of him being happy with someone who is not you

and I hope you see him smile
and I hope you see my smile

and I hope you realise everything you could have had

and when you realise that-

I hope you hear us laughing
If this seems mean.. well, it's not my fault she blew her chances.
Jan 2016 · 336
TOURIST TOWN
CE Jan 2016
How can you deny the sandy beaches with sand as yellow as the sun up above-
the sea so clean and pure that you could drink it!

people come from all around to see the beauty of our land, and why wouldn't they?

How do you tell me empty streets with broken lights and tripped over bins is not perfect?

How can you say that the benches where the homeless sleep are anything but amazing?

The tranquil streams of spilled alcohol and the gentle shimmer of syringes stepped on in a hurry by the wonderful youth that live here-

simply miraculous.

come one, come all~

come see the beach, stare out to the ocean!

the other sights will come in due time
Beauty is in the (blind) eye of the beholder.
Dec 2015 · 292
sad/god/sad/god
CE Dec 2015
ITS TO THE POINT WHERE IM NOT SURE WHO I AM ANYMORE

I CAN FEEL POWER AROUND ME AND CALL MYSELF "GOD"

AND I CAN LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND FEEL THE WORLD COME CRASHING DOWN WITH A NAME LIKE "NEVER"

I HATE MYSELF
BECAUSE
I AM THE BEST

MAYBE I CAN EXIST IN A STATE OF CONTRAST LIKE THAT

MAYBE IVE FIGURED IT ALL OUT

INTRODUCING!

THE DEPRESSED AND THE POWERFUL

THE ONE WORTHY OF WORSHIP

THE ONE OF MANY MANY FAULTS

THE SELF LOATHING GOD
oh my word
Dec 2015 · 211
You're no good anymore
CE Dec 2015
I was the sky and I was the sea

I was the moon and I was the stars

I was the sun and I was the clouds

what the hell did you do?
CE Dec 2015
GIRL

THIS IS WHO YOU ALWAYS WILL BE

GIRL

YOU CANNOT ESCAPE IT

GIRL

YOU WILL NEVER BECOME WHO YOU WANT TO BE

GIRL

WHY DO YOU TRY TO FIGHT IT

GIRL

GIVE IN TO IT YOU SILLY

GIRL

THE WORLD WILL ALWAYS SEE YOU

GIRL

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE

GIRL
A poor boy from a family of sharks that all think he is something he is not.
CE Dec 2015
I hate the fact I still make art about you

You don't deserve to be beautiful
Dec 2015 · 550
I have his eyes
CE Dec 2015
IT MAKES ME UNEASY TO REALISE I AM JUST LIKE YOU
AND THE WAY I CAN'T SEPERATE YOUR FACE FROM MY OWN MAKES ME AFRAID THAT ONE DAY
I'LL TURN ON THE NEWS AND SEE MYSELF IN THE PLACE OF YOU
AND I'LL SEE MY FACE CAPTIONED WITH THE SAME WORDS

"KILLER ON THE LOOSE"
CE Dec 2015
Gunfire rattled through the tranquillity, shattering like the bones he trod on to get this far

He laughed a little, because he heard them squeak and squawk when he stamped their life away

He pumps the shells out of his rifle, seeking any pray that is unlucky enough to find him

He quiets down, and sneaks on the brown autumn leaves while they crunch

He finds what he's looking for, he sees her stand tall and proud and happy

He readies his gun, steadily aiming at her

Her skin is a rough brown and her orange hair is falling out, and covers the floor like a carpet

He laughs a little while he pulls the trigger, sending a few bullets into her thick skin

Her bark breaks and there's a hole, the bullet is stuck inside of her

And he chuckles while inspecting what he's done, and he thinks "wow, I did this."

The tree is still standing, and she always will be

But the gunman, he now knows what he can do

and she will never be able to stop him from that

the gunman walks away with a cocky smile, whistling a tune

The tree simply stands, and grieves for his future crimes
Not my best work.. But hell, I needed to write and the concept of hunting a tree seemed like a cool idea?? If only I was as good at execution as I was at concepts.
CE Dec 2015
love won't save the world

love won't save you or me

love won't stop the bullets flying into the deer's leg

love won't stop her last attempts of escape, her last few bucks for life

love won't stop the knife sliding up her stomach

love won't stop her skin from parting like rose petals

love won't stop your hand finding her heart and pulling it out

love won't stop you throwing it to the ground and stamping on it

love won't clean the blood off your hands

and love won't sew the deer's chest up again

love didn't save any of us,

love didn't stop you

and love certainly didn't save her

and love won't save me
Just because you love somebody doesn't mean they will never hurt you.
CE Dec 2015
Two years ago I would have hated anybody who said a word bad about you.

Funny how things change,
You lying *******.
Dec 2015 · 350
Do you, though?
CE Dec 2015
I don’t believe anything to be true-
That’s just a fault of mine
So naturally, I would question this
Of course I would,
I can’t take anything for face value

That being said..
Do you really?

Is this real or just superficial?

Is this because you want me
Or because you simply want?

I don’t mean offence

I honestly don’t

This is not a critique on your character,
It isn’t
This isn’t about you and it’s not about us
It’s just me
It’s just

Good things don’t happen

Good things don’t happen

Good things don’t happen

So forgive me when I ask..


*Do you really?
Dec 2015 · 270
Safe journey
CE Dec 2015
Early morning driving

The road is quiet now

The sky looks beautiful this time of year

The streetlights look like fireflies

I wish hospitals didn't have to stay open all the time

I've never seen a sunrise before

I wish the day didn't have to start again

It was loud and bright and now there's nothing

I wonder if I'll see tomorrow

There are people everywhere

There is red everywhere

The ground isn't comfortable

I'm tired

Sweet dreams
CE Dec 2015
Wake up

Or don't

Interact with those who love me

Interact with those I don't love

(Same people)

Think about how easy the way out is

Wait for a day,
Then repeat process
Spend my whole life waiting for it to get better

Yet one year later,

Here I am

And I'm still a depressive, edgy, melodramatic, pseudo-poetic *******  

Here I am

And it never got better

Don't say that's my fault because it ******* isn't

I don't control the world around me

And I don't even control myself at this point

I'm ending this cycle

I don't want to live my whole life waiting for things to get better

"Go out and make it better!"

It doesn't work that way!

If it did, do you honestly think I would choose this life instead?

God,

One year later and here I am

Still unhappy

Still writing ****** poems

Still isolated (albeit surrounded by people this year..)

What's different?

I discovered the meaning of life

I discovered what it means to be human

I discovered what it means to lose humanity, and realise you never had it

I discovered what it means to love, and what it means to realise you can't

I discovered bad things only ever happen to me!!

I discovered my comfortable first-world life is officially the worst life to ever have been lived ever.

One year later,

And I'm still this way

One year later,

And I'm still a ****
I hate myself but I also hate the fact I hate myself because I don't want to be this ******* way.  I'm great!! I deserved to be liked!! By everybody who isn't me, I guess..
CE Nov 2015
Show the liars that they are blind
Away with false idols
Down with the lying prophets
And destroy all that is not
the gospel truth of ME

I am merciful, believe it or not
I will not hate or bestow wrath for no reason

Nor my respect is freely given

Earn your keep.
Earn your right.
Earn your life.

Give me a reason,

Your God commands it,

Why do you get to live today?
Nov 2015 · 754
1am
CE Nov 2015
1am
It's 1 in the morning and I'm trying to decide how I want to die

But I don't want to die, of course not.

I want to live.
I just want to live in a way in which I feel good..

Hell, a life in which I feel anything would be great.

"Pain is the only thing that reminds us we feel"

sure, okay!

I don't even ******* dream anymore.

What does life mean when you don't even want anything out of it?

If you can't dream or aspire then what is the actual point ?

What's the point of living as a ghost ?
What?
CE May 2015
The thing that haunts me the most

Is not what I said

Not what I destroyed

And it's not even you

The thing that haunts me the most

Are the things I never said to you

The things that I left be

And the you I never knew

It's hard to accept you're gone now

Especially because you're not really gone, are you?

You're within my reach

I could put my hand out and feel you again if I dared

But I dare not

Because it would not be the same

The windows are gone

And so are you

The door is wide open but

I'm scared

I can't go through if it leads to you

I'm not even scared of you..

I'm scared of it blowing up again

It's childish, naïve, juvenile

That's what makes me want it

Because that's what we always were..

That's what we were..
.."were"
Hello old friend. Care to talk?
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Mr melancholy speaks
CE Apr 2015
You were the one
That told me
Don't be so
*******
Apathetic

And you told me
Don't be oblivious

Don't be an empty person

With no face

You told
Me

That because I do not show it

Because I don't know how to show it

That I am empty

Mr apathy

Mr I don't care

Mr I can't care

And I tried as hard as I could

To be what you thought I needed to be

I felt so ******* bad about myself, you know?

I'm not

The person

That people

Will love

I am not

The person

That people

Can love

I am not

The person

That

Can love

Oh save me?

I did not need to be saved

I did not need to be saved

I DID NOT NEED TO BE SAVED

Don't take it upon yourself

To be the one that fixes me

When I was never broken

And it took so long for me to see that

After you told me otherwise for so long

I am not broken or empty

*You are
You're still kind of a ****, huh
Apr 2015 · 1.2k
Family troubles
CE Apr 2015
It's sad that

The only time

You promise not to fight

Is when

Your mother

Is being hoisted into the groud

In a cardboard box

Isn't it?
Drama
CE Apr 2015
Why would you tell me
That you loved me

If you knew that it wasn't true?

The truth might hurt,

But you hurt me more than the truth ever could

Ignorance was not the bliss you said it would be

A lot of things are not what you said they would be

I gave you nothing but honesty

And you gave me

Fantasy ?

Not the wonderful kind with blue skies and flowers,

The kind that leaves you empty and hollow

Because you can't help but feel

That it just might happen

But in your heart of hearts,

You know it never will

And I knew all along that something was not right

From the very beginning

I used to think it fell apart sooner but I know now

From the beginning it was wrecked

I just wish I had the courage to say something

Like you had the cowardice to say nothing

Flowers really are cowards, huh
Lilies are the worst kind of lover
Apr 2015 · 3.1k
your heart is not the same
CE Apr 2015
When did
"I am your equal,
I want mutual respect and love.
What is mine is yours,
And I will give you Eden if you desire it,
I will protect you,
I promise no evil will be upon you."


Become
"I am your superior,
I demand worship.
I am entitled to everything you have,
Because you deserve nothing-
You deserve to be tossed into the street,
And torn apart by stray dogs.
You are a nothing but a burden"
?
Apr 2015 · 443
Little grey fox
CE Apr 2015
The name means nothing to her
The name means nothing
The name spoken and cried by billions,
The name prayed to and worshipped

The idol that we should not reject
As it is her
And she is true

The name that should not be said in vain,

The name of a million meanings and definitions

The name that could change a nation

And the one it belongs to that could change worlds

It bares no meaning anymore

For the one it belongs to

No longer knows it

She has forgotten that name and the vow that came with it

So now the name is nonsense

And it has fallen to obscure itself

And the one who it belongs to
Can no longer be reached

The name is gone

and so is she

The idol is gone

And so is the light
This seems like it's religious but it's really not intended to be
Mar 2015 · 372
10w
CE Mar 2015
10w
I honestly did love you
But I didn't know you
And you did not know me
Mar 2015 · 765
Letters that I never wrote
CE Mar 2015
Stranger,
My words don't have a lot of meaning to you. Not now, at least. I don't know you. I don't know your struggles. I don't know if the cause was lost before it begun, I don't know if there's even a fight to be had. I know the amount of insignificant thoughts these words bring.
I don't know you. Yet.
I do know something that may help, though.
I know that if you need some words of motivation, and you don't mind how badly said they are,
You can turn here. I hope this is a helpful offer.
Have a nice day.



friend,
I'm glad you're getting better. I don't know how hard it is and I doubt I ever will, but I'm proud of you for getting better. I know glad to hear all of the good. I hope it lasts.
Have a nice day.



friend,
You seem very happy these days. I'm glad. I doubt I have a lot to do with that. You have a lot of good things happening for you right now, and I'm glad that they are happening. I wish that you would sometimes pay more mind to me, I understand that I am not permanent. But I wish sometimes you would act as if I was. Oh well, perhaps that is selfish.
Have a nice day.


friend,
Where have you gone? I haven't heard from you at all. You used to be everywhere. You used to be everything. where have you gone? Friend, I am worried. Me and so many others. Get back to me, to us. We need to know that you are okay. Perhaps it's just mistakes on my part, perhaps it's just me. I'm sorry if this is an inconvenience.
Have a nice day.



friend, I'm so relieved. I was so worried about you. I had thought the worst, I had heard what your lover had done. I was appalled. But I was mostly afraid, dear friend. I know that you are not as strong as you would make-believe. I was worried, friend. I was so worried.
I wonder why you let us worry, sometimes.
Have a nice day.



friend,
Why do you never write back anymore? I'm starting to wonder if these letters are more of a bother than act of friendship. friend, is that true? Perhaps you are just not getting them. Perhaps it's the post office. That's probably it. friend? I hope that's it.
Have a nice day.



friend,
I haven't heard from you in weeks. Please reply.
Have a nice day.



friend,
Does this matter to you anymore?

Did it ever?



friend,
Just talk to me. ******* it, just give me piece of mind. Humour me. Just let me know. You are important to me, friend. You are very important. Do not act as if my words mean nothing. They used to not, but now they should. They really should. Your words mean everything to me. You told me, friend. You promised me that my words mattered. You helped me realise they mattered. You made me see that I have effect. Don't destroy that. Don't destroy the person you helped build.
Please, friend.



Stranger,

I hope you have a nice day.
The rise and fall of the friendship with a person that never happened. I barely talked to her. But I knew her. I really knew her. and I loved her with all my heart. That is the honest truth, though you can choose to not believe it.
Some lovers are simply not meant to be.
CE Mar 2015
The moon has been cancelled

We apologise for inconvenience caused
British weather will never cease to ruin your day
Mar 2015 · 889
Describe the ant
CE Mar 2015
You are not a part of something greater than yourself

You are in its way

You are not part of the stars and the moon and the planets,

You are not the grassy green fields of July,

You are not the infinite sea,

You are not the finite deserts

You are all you will ever be

And that is small-

Smaller than we can even conceive

You are a ghost

You are a squeak

You are a shadow

You are limited.

Something we will never be
CE Feb 2015
You are like the night sky

You are dark and scary and hold secrets that humanity must never know

People will glance and see such beauty,

People will stare and question everything at the sight of you

They will question why they even matter anymore if such beauty can exist with them not needed

You hold answers to questions we cannot even think of
and questions that we are too afraid to ask

You give us questions of why does anything even have meaning anymore?

Meaning means nothing in the presence of you

It will take great thinkers millennia to be able to describe and define you

Yet you can not be defined still- you are an enigma after years of trying to understand

You cannot be understood

You are an infinity of terror

Pure

Undefined

Misconstrued

Magnificent

TERROR
Also your eyes sparkles like the stars or something along those lines.
CE Feb 2015
You are not apologising because you are sorry

You are not apologising to make amends

You are apologising to me

Because I am big

And powerful

And scary

You are not apologising

You are protecting yourself

I don't care for what you did

I don't care

I just wish

You were honest

There is no point in phony apologies

They don't mean anything

I forgive you-

As is my custom

But it's not because of your dishonest words

It's because I am big

And powerful

And scary

And forgiving
Feb 2015 · 941
Truth isn't real
CE Feb 2015
I've never thought of anything as existing without me there to interact with it
How can something exist without the acknowledgement of me?
Because I am the only one who I can be sure exists therefore anything outside of what I know cannot be proven to be real
I can touch
I can feel
I can hear
But I can never be sure

This is why I do not think your honesty is real
I have never seen, nor heard of it
I have only guessed at it
I have not experienced your truthfulness
Therefore such a thing cannot exist
I can't prove it
And I'm pretty sure neither can you

And I know, for sure, that everything I felt was not real

As I did not feel anything that was towards anything real

They are null
They are void

Smile and giggle and frown and tear

Null and void

You do not exist anymore

I start to wonder if you ever did

Your truth-

I know that didn't

Nothing but this page

Nothing but this poetry

That is all that exists now

It just

died
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