"vantablack" poems
I love you
dow
w
n
to your jagged,
dark edges
culling smoke
and twisting tides
your steaming heart
that pulses, in my hands
as you give it-
and the pungent tears
when they fall
from your eyes
I lick up your pain
to soothe it smooth
its rawness catching
velvet ripples of skin
I pull a blanket
of mahogany wine
over your soul
lacerations
that seep out
from the layers within
and in that tender of
nightfall's darkest foliage
I long to calm
your monsters' clawing
as they gnaw at you from
the inside out
I crave to fill
the hollowed-out longing
my own hungers writhing
in obscene
devout
For I am all that is sacred and wild
the spark has been lit
from my innermost rooms
I dance to the drums of
the woman as child
her mystical ways chanting
rhythms in runes
Demons might dance
as you gaze in reflection
in the mirror of time,
of unfiltered space
but I adore all your sides,
your imperfections
discern the divine
in the planes of your face
You are my galaxy
of dark matter
bringing out my
own looking glass
of vantablack
in a feral crown of obsidian
and onyx
as you reach me deep,
there's no going back
For when you love me like that,
plant your tameless,
hot seed
it blossoms within me
a tightly-wrapped tourniquet
for when I bleed
and if my guts
should spill upon
the floor
you will remind me,
in glowing of pores
of who I am
and how I am whole
a lovelight lit in the
storm of my soul
I will push down deeper
until I feel those roots
that connect me to
my center
to my
succulent fruit
So slice me open.
Pull me apart.
Let the juice run down
to heal
your
jagged-edged
heart
Sep 22, 2017
Sep 22, 2017 at 5:59 PM UTC
i fall and ascend in a sea vantablack
spiral light
fire ghosts and ice
that cut the soul to pieces
like scissors
that split rabbits
industry of a hissing creation
polluted altar of sleeping lakes
and scythe
bludgeon and howitzer
prods of push and pull
in a grindhouse
necropolis of craters
scattering satanic eggs and tumors
i am here born to you thin of bone
mother of catastrophes
on a colossal ball of scab and callous
that moves sonorous dazzling shapes
careening through
ephemera workhorse torches
of doom
you fill me with knots of terror
and desperate dreams of stairway wings
veils and glimmers
resolutions dissolving
petaled apertures of desire
and night whispers
in a spider web of sonic bulls
before undertows gravity
i was vibrant
but then i died into the rock ash of earth
they called it my birthday
my parents with party hats and balloons
blinked fetters
against nights of granite and stone
i got deader still
until i was nothing
but an imagineless gob of mud and breath
an eye looking out
behind red nerve forest fires
and tears shook tambourines
down heavy lashes
cascaded fluttering tassels
i am born to you mother of senile seas
citadel of shattered glass
in a slate cube of cyclones
mute and screaming
my fate deep shock
encased in mausoleums led nautilus
blatting hells jaundiced shriek
Pluto conjunct Saturn
Jun 11, 2019
Jun 11, 2019 at 1:05 PM UTC
Nothing, never deeper than the well,
a well-kept secret, first a test.
After, far, far past the Vantablack,
just behind Olbers’ paradox.
A vague light from a dancing candle,
sets ablaze a # of Nobel’s Blasting Powder.
-a.j.León
Nov 4, 2015
Nov 4, 2015 at 3:08 AM UTC
Trapped in this vantablack room
There’s got to be a key somewhere
But Where?
Why do I want to leave this place????
The Isolation has been oh so nice....
I came here feeling strong, confident, powerful
Now I am nothing other than a pasty white corpse
A Corpse that has nothing to give because I have only taken
I desired lust and what I thought would lead to love
Karma got the best of me
I forgot to love myself
If I don’t relearn how to love myself then I will be trapped in this purgatory
Okay just one step before the other….
Good….
Another….
Ugh I just fell and cut my hand….
Well there goes that opportunity
I will just go back from where I came
Not like anyone every loved me the way I love them….
Wait????
Is that a voice?
“Woah hi what are you doing here????”
I was looking for some *****
Well I am sorry but we don’t have that here
But…….
It looks like you found the key to my heart…
Thank you so much…..
I cant imagine where I would be without you being here today
I couldve been lost forever if you didn’t show up today
“At the very least can I get your name?”
“I am Danielle”
One Year Later
“Danielle will you marry me?”
“YES!”
Nov 14, 2019
Nov 14, 2019 at 9:31 PM UTC
i told a boy about my darkness,
about the Vantablack, carbon nanotube darkness
that ***** all life & light from my frame.
he ran his fingers through his jet black hair
as he listened, perfectly still.
he didn't run.
instead, he asked questions, mostly starting with "why,"
and i pondered my own black whole
as his hand rested on my knee.
"darling," he had said. "why do you let it control you?"
but i simply smiled, shook my head.
"you've clearly never felt my pain before."
Mar 14, 2018
Mar 14, 2018 at 6:16 PM UTC
Upon a tumultuous street, a notion alights,
It hastens in haste, then averts its gaze,
My heart's echo descends into a crimson abyss,
Upon the ocean floor, it drifts away.
Your name, I called, yet emptiness replied,
A bloom of yours, I drew, withering away.
Life's lines extend before me,
To choose, where your love resides.
This ritual unfolds each day,
I peer within, a melancholy abode,
Where my heart, a vantablack canvas, remains.
:: 12.02.2023 ::
Dec 4, 2023
Dec 4, 2023 at 8:38 PM UTC
A chalky, sepia-washed room seen through an ailing CRT. Vantablack lines sprawl across my gnarled face in patterns, playing games with the sun that blares on through the rangy blinds.
Digital clock: 2:43
A cardinal red cigarette pack in my right hand, a turkey baster in the other, submerged deep within the sheet's motherly void. The simmering glow of the hallway dances like a pendulum; a vicious debutante, waiting to coerce me into life. I am enveloped by some capricious rhythm that has no origin, and no destination.
I'm coming to uncertain terms with this lucid halcyon.
Ink drips, from the pillow to my shoulder. I am currently a piece of fiction, held within a lissome frame. This is complete autonomy. Nothing is as it really was, only what it should've have been from the very start. A muted slur from beyond the window comes hurtling through my head. It starts to look like a tumor tree, having its branches, limbs, and spine torn to and fro in such a hideous manner. I've let something go to my head. The dream is broken, through no request of my own.
Aug 7, 2019
Aug 7, 2019 at 10:23 PM UTC
It's always in the background
Can you hear it?
"It's part of life"
The heaviness that's always pulling you slowly back
Not allowing your smile to reach your eyes
Making you drift off from time to time
Can you feel it?
Weighing you down?
Letting you sink slowly lower?
Until you reach the bottom
And it all comes out
Full force
Then afterwards you feel lighter
But the smile still doesnt reach your eyes
Because it's still there
In the back of your mind
A never ending cycle
And if it had a color
It would be
vantablack
Seemingly impossible to
Quit
Staring
At
It never leaves
"Its part of life"
Then how do you get rid of it?
You dont
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 30, 2018 at 1:44 PM UTC
her lips
are saturn’s rings.
her eyes
are black holes;
her vantablack pupils pull me in.
her touch
is colder than neptune’s surface
but somehow always warms me inside.
it seeps through my intergalactic highway of veins
and takes the nearest exit
to my heart.
her tears
are the ice found on mars.
(she freezes and hides them
so that others cannot tell
how she’s slowly breaking inside.
how she’s slowly dying out.
how she’s slowly losing orbit.
but i can tell
and it kills me
because i am only a human on earth,
and she is the entire galaxy;
she has too many people to worry about
so she would never notice me
and how much i worry about her.)
her mind
is the part of the universe
that remains unobserved.
she is the cosmos, the planets, the stars;
she is everything.
(no amount of atronomy classes
can teach me so much about the cosmos
as spending time with her can.)
Jan 2, 2018
Jan 2, 2018 at 10:59 PM UTC
‘ is dark at night, i lay here looking’
yes
‘ not totally black though,
i like the greys and shadow.
i like when the cars go by,
the lights go across the walls’
yes
‘ i do not think i will like very black,
not vantablack like anish kapoor’
said the bear quietly.
its is alright to say so.
sbm.
Mar 5, 2016
Mar 5, 2016 at 1:36 AM UTC
Don't hold your breath
replace that fresh air in your chest
with a grotesque amount of stress
so when they see you they see death
I've been banging my head against
their picket white fences ever since
I broke free from house arrest and
found myself floundering around
this Barnes test like the little lost octopus
who finally found his pit of vantablack
Long live the oppressed, the second guessers
buried in the eagles nest waiting to hatch
Apr 7, 2017
Apr 7, 2017 at 2:45 AM UTC
I miss you
Like leopards miss trees.
Like plants miss light.
Like babies miss mothers.
Like I miss you.
I'm not even poetic about it.
It's blatant;
It didn't have to be this way.
I started to describe you to my friends
As a gravity well
A black hole
Vantablack.
You take EVERYTHING and give nothing in return,
You became an anomaly,
You were my sun,
Then one day your
Gravity became too large,
And you became that... Thing.
Taker.
The way you treat people is unacceptable,
And this is coming from a nihilist.
You are not a bad person,
You started to become one.
Jun 27, 2017
Jun 27, 2017 at 9:37 AM UTC
an eighteen note vantablack
Victorian music box
welled up from the rings of
a tree stump.
far afield.
a little girl's hand reached
out & wound it.
to dissever music from rain--
where she withdrew into
the sheets that came down.
feeling through her throat...
a lifelong mute made in a
moment.
the eighteenth note coming
to rest.
Sep 8, 2023
Sep 8, 2023 at 4:23 PM UTC
"There's a light in you"
I am told
But i cant see it
I'm me
How could there be a spark in my soul
It was flushed out years ago
By the river
That flows through the unspoken
It goes beyond all thoughts
And it clogs my head when it stops
And it has stopped.
For it has been clogged
Ever since the light beside me left
Left to find a brighter light
To save her from what i gave her
Because darkness is all i am capable of giving
The color red is beyond the Vantablack layer of what ive become
Through the thoughts
The names
Through the faliure
Therefore my heart cannot be percieved as the color red
It blocks all light
And does not reflect
Not even hers
And the annoyance of not being able to unenvelope my soul from the darkness is why she left
Naïvely thought i could deal on my own
Since thats what i had done before
So maybe i could again.
But instead of getting better..
I have started thinking more rapidly and more frequently
"Maybe im better off dead"
Like a lamb on the edge of a cliff
Its just a step
Just an impulse decision to lock away your mind for the purpose of falling from that ledge..
It would save pain
From those who i would only ever and always accidentily give darkness to take with them
Just one second..
Thats all it takes..
To spread my wings and fly
But im tired of trying to fly anymore
Im tired of straining to keep my head above water
Im tired of waiting for a hand
Or a stick
To pull myself out of this with
Ive fallen so many times emotionally
I just want to know what it feels like..
To physically break instead of mentally
To bleed instead of..
think..
Think.
THINK
But it all comes down to that impulse decision
To give up or see the dawn..
But I've given up on the dawn.
Its just been so **** long since i saw even a shade of black lighter than this.
So i guess i know what my choice will be when that time comes along..
Im just so tired of falling without breaking..
So tired of healing..
Tired of being beaten and bruising
Without a single complaint.
Because with every thought
My soul drains..
And once its gone..
It wont anymore be a strain
To take another step.
May 7, 2017
May 7, 2017 at 5:21 PM UTC
Somewhere in my mind,
a film reel flutters
casting images of vantablack cavities
hallowed into the air-
of seemingly empty spaces encompassing universes
both too small
and too vastly complex
to be perceived by the naked eye,
realities perched precariously
on the point of a needle.
each imperfect grain in my vision
is a cosmic birth-
a work of worlds and wheeling galaxies
nestled together and interspersed.
Jan 9, 2018
Jan 9, 2018 at 3:50 PM UTC
the void is
the ultimate mystic doorway
it allows you
to disappear
into a non-existence universe
against the backdrop of Vantablack
of eternity
Nov 9, 2018
Nov 9, 2018 at 9:39 PM UTC
I’m trapped inside nothingness and I am left defenseless.
It seems to be pitch black as I open and close my eyes, there is nothing to be seen.
To be specific, it’s Vantablack.
It’s one of the darkest substance that’s known and it absorbs 99.96% of visible light.
You, you are my .04% when I’ve lost hope.
You, you are the thing that keeps me going.
I know the faith of mine has been wavering.
But you, you God are the reason I’m fighting to find my .04% chance of light again.
Jun 15, 2019
Jun 15, 2019 at 4:33 PM UTC
I longed for you, on thousand sunrises that together we'll spend thousand sunsets.
We always felt the same, different perspectives and different hues tessellating on blank canvas we call life.
I love you in black and you love me in darkest shade of black together we breed vantablack.
Feb 13, 2019
Feb 13, 2019 at 6:05 AM UTC