Madness tip toes
Ripping my brain through an eye socket
As its placed in the blender
My memories churn
Feelings splatter on the walls
Every thought I've ever had
Or ever will
Shredded and sprayed
As a Pollock piece on display
You gaze at my wonders
My life
Sliding down every crevasse
Just to walk away
Unscathed from the beautiful mess
I sit in silence, a hollow shell
Only to look upon my life
As it was meant to be
A work of art


The chaos keeps me       sane
It's the                                       Silence
That's really starting to                     Scare me
.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

Her fingers slither and slide atop my heart
Clinching at the neck
As my father would
With no remorse for the bruises
Or constant aches I awaken to

Every beat captured and confined
The walls filled with jars of the echoing
Never to be heard or reckoned with
Prisoner of my long lost love

I gave you my heart, Without knowing someday I'd have to move on
Shakeled and shredded, it's beat to a pulp
Confined to quarters
Where light simply cannot go

Even if I should move on
I don't think I can
Because darling
I made the biggest mistakes of my life
Loving you and letting go

I've been waiting.... to wake up
           From a Ďream
Or from real i t y
                                    Or somewHere       In be
               As              a shade
Cascading further into the darkness
Where   structure               Has.    no meaning
Colors no light
             And my    Life
                                           No resolve           for
      the restlesš

Like the wheels on my first tricycle
I am broken
Used and worn as my rustic soul sits
Beside the growing weeds
At my parents house
I watch you waste away over the years
Growing tired
Blood red peels from your core
Scattered around for all to see
Maybe one day I'll return
To find you've moved on
From those sun striken rays
Pumbling your existence
And hopefully it gives me the strength
To move foreward as well
And understand that the past
So beautiful and joyous to the senses
But Nothing will put me on the wheels
Of that lonesome bike ever again

How do I move past these holes in my life
The missing texts
Empty photo albums
Old receipts
The last shirt I found of yours
The messages
Old perfumes
The last box of your favorite mac and cheese
So many holes to leap over
And I'm afraid my only option is

Mindless sparks of your pheromone
Erupt emotions hidden deep and dark
Of my hollow graves
As if my thoughts wonder about
Leashed to a core
Wandering eons in search
Of the more
Or less
Growing upon these limbs
Of a dying tree
We grow to a future of the unknown
As clades of mankind's debacle
Fighting for a single chance
Just to love
Or be loved
In this dreary frightening world
We call home

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