"spazz" poems
I'm hyper and happy with energy to spare
Fast speech, racing mind
I spread love everywhere
A giant smile is all I bare until
a certain darkness
fills the air
You feel rampant with no good rage
Trapped in your sorrows
like a rusted shut cage
You remind yourself you're not crazy
Sometimes you're really happy
or just tired
and lazy
Sometimes you lose feeling in your fingers and toes
Like you're in the basement of a coroner
raw and exposed
Other times, you're on a hamster wheel
sweating and racing
Feeling your skin turn
rubber and chafing
I have no control over my emotions and mood
And, yes, I know that
that's no excuse
I come off strong with my opinions and personality
Which many think is wonderful or an abnormality
I'm seen in different lights
because I don't know which one to stand in
I'm only myself in my writing
and that's the happiest I've been
Pen and paper give me the control
my chemical imbalance never has
I can feel calm and genuine and less of a spazz
I'm slowly accepting
my past
mistakes
and reality
Mental illness is stigmatized
But we need to face our morality
Hell!
Carrie Fisher was bipolar though
we didn't talk about it in that era
If she was bipolar then
I'm just like Princess Leia
Dec 5, 2018
Dec 5, 2018 at 9:59 PM UTC
I was raised on ridicule
Scorn and blaming.
Belittling laughter
Jokes and shaming.
Though nobody who knew
Seems to doubt it
They sure as hell wish I
Would shut up about it.
That’s just the way it is today.
Abused children, it seems
Upset people; therefore they
Are best not heard, just seen.
Four Eyes, Toothpick and Brat
These are a few of the names.
You might as well call them freaks
And creeps. It amounts to the same.
Screwup, ****** fumblefingers,
Bones, Spazz and Stumblebum.
Pantywaist, wussy, ditz and then
Plenty more where those came from.
From birth to death it seems
Sometimes, throughout all of life
Some people just don’t care
That scorn can cut like a knife.
It makes people question
Every move they might make
When somebody keeps on
Calling them things like flake.
The condemnation and rebuke
Aren’t covered up by the laughter.
People should question deeply
The effect they think they are after.
So cut the kids a break
It won’t turn out wrong
And the ridicule of a child
Can last their whole life long.
Nov 5, 2015
Nov 5, 2015 at 6:02 PM UTC
Sometimes it builds
To a degree intolerable
Some of it, it can be untraceable
The source unknown
Of the aching within
Impenetrable thoughts
Seeking a foundation
Strain comes out
In various ways
From your head to your toes
It will divulge
Aching in the head
Eyes flooded with blood
Tension of the mind
The body too
Tapping of the fingers
Shaking of the leg
It all soon, gives it away
Dec 5, 2011
Dec 5, 2011 at 3:30 PM UTC
Yeah, fearless, now watch me clear this obsession, that others keep stressing on, watching people keep wasting their lives over precious things as if they themselves have become like Gollum mon. But I digress, this is my mission, this my vision to run this dominion. I am fearless, devil can you hear it, I have overcome you're torment, I no longer fear **** God oh the father up in heaven, It still looks like I aint one you're disciplinary brethren. This is my goal, mother ****** I am on a roll, can't decide which way to go. Classy so sassy, jumping over all you spazz's because you are all too drastic and dramatic. I am the fanatic that don't panic over first world problems, because ever problem can be solved, given time, I'm sure I will never again hit rock bottom. Fearless, so careless to the things that used to bother me, but nothing impedes me now that I got my masters degree. Going off you melon tops, you think I would give up when I got my friends for backup. So I haven't always been this way, but this is the way I rock today. I can only move forward, to tomorrow, can't look back at all my sorrow. Different me, so I think a lot differently, starting to build up my lyrical ministry. Fearless you can't commandeer this vessel that is so special, that would be dreadful, so unethical to this human that is so gentle. Just a gentile that has over come his shackles, so gnomonical of all these obstacles I tackled. No more skipping over the point with the story of the birds and the bee's, because we finally have the keys to get off of our knees. To fearful are some, no fear for this one, because nothing can no longer have me outdone. Fearless can you comprehend how clear this is, but a lot of you are still to blind to see that fear is your nemesis. Why can't everything be good like in the book of genesis, I'll tell you why, because this generation has gone to **** that is most definite. Some of you won't admit, but to be completely honest I don't really give two ***** No more fear holding me back from being in a relationship, I have become smart as a chip, blasting out here like I'm a rocket ship.
Jan 20, 2016
Jan 20, 2016 at 5:50 PM UTC
I wanna set the world on fire
instead I puff to get higher
shift, flip, switch, bam
I don't even give a ****
enraged
im caged
hello chemical monster, where'd you come from
5 seconds ago I was totally numb
slam my brain into the wall.
Im just waiting for the downfall
irrational
theatrical
I wanna bleed myself dry
or bust open and ******* cry
its like im against myself today
don't even have the words to say
what the **** are you doing to me
I just want to be free
they spazz cause my smiles gone
ask me what in life is wrong
I don't know. I don't care
I just feel . life's not fair
Jun 18, 2015
Jun 18, 2015 at 9:19 PM UTC
Things you don’t say to
People who
Suffer from trauma
And traumatic life
Those worlds are....
Spazz
Spazzing out
And spazzed out.
Say that and you
Will see how ******
The universe really
Is!!!
Mar 9, 2019
Mar 9, 2019 at 7:09 PM UTC
You were desperate for affection
you never knew I had
You thought that it will never come
from my hands and mouth
Or even my heart
Constant give and take,
Yes you always gave and never
took what you wanted nor deserved
I'm sorry for having you cry tears
Or even making you have fears
I'm sorry for being such a ****
Trying to get revenge for something
You didn't mean to do
But you hurt me constantly inside
But yet you never knew
I gave my all even my trust
And when I saw you do something
Beyond compare and challenge my trust
I spazz out instead of letting go
I kept trying to hurt you and I'm sorry
I know your friends wanted me
To be CUT LOOSE !!!
It was because how I treated you
I regret even hurting you
That was the one thing
I didn't want to do
So I ask for forgiveness
And for a second chance
To make it up to you
And I promise you
I will NEVER say or do anything
To EVER hurt you again.
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 5:51 PM UTC
Do you realize I can see it?
That look in your eyes?
Saying I’m a freak?
A loser?
A spazz?
A good for nothing?
A ******
That look that says I’m different?
I’m tired of being different,
Of trying to be like you,
Why do I even try?
To be like you?
Can’t I be myself?!
Oh wait no!
I CANT BE MYSELF!
It’s socially unacceptable!
What the hell!
WHY CANT I BE ME?!
Is that so bad?
To try to be myself?
To be individual?
To be unique?
To dress how I want?
To say what I want to say?
And do what I want to do?
And act how I want to act?
To be myself without rebuke and constrain of social norms?
To be individual without being told its wrong and being tied down with the ropes of unspoken social rules?
To be unique without being glared at with looks of contempt and aloof?
To dress how I want without being looked at like I’m crazy, or told it’s out date?
To say what I want to say without being told that it’s weird or out-of-line?
To do what I want to do without being told I have to stay within certain confines?
To act how I want to act without having my lines scripted and my moves choreographed by the rules and regulations of society?
Is it so horrible to want to be who I am without the looks that say I’m an out-cast or having to live within the walls of social norms?
Am I such a terrible person that I can’t be myself?
And do you realize I can see it?
That look in your eyes?
Saying I’m a freak?
A loser?
A spazz?
A good for nothing?
A ******
An out-cast?
A person out of line?
That look that says I’m different?
Because I do see it,
And it hurts,
To know I’ll never be accepted,
Or told its okay to be me,
To be individual,
To be unique,
To dress, say, do, and act how I want,
And not have to ask my Mom,
‘Is this outfit okay?’
To ask my friends,
‘Did I say something wrong?’
‘Did I do something wrong?’
To ask my teachers,
‘Did I act out of line?’
To say to the whole wide world,
‘I’m sorry for being me,’
I see the looks,
I notice them every day,
And I must ask,
Can you please stop?
Because I’m sorry,
For being me,
Because I can’t change,
Who I am,
Because I see you, and I notice the looks you give me,
And they hurt,
So please?
Can you stop?
Just for one day?
Just one measly day?
Because it hurts,
And I can’t change,
Who I am.
May 20, 2014
May 20, 2014 at 6:39 PM UTC
starting to calm down,
then comes the uncontrollable
twitch
of the finger.
muscles spazz
not used to
sitting so long.
unmoving,
until the body
becomes still as
air in
summer heat.
eyes closed.
i feel the earth as it spins under me.
my heart beats to the rhythm of the clock.
Apr 4, 2016
Apr 4, 2016 at 12:35 PM UTC
let's take a second to listen
written alphabetically
with a brand-new addition
spliffing delivering
heat, cat on a hot tin roof
sizzling, Messi, dribbling
spit ill sickening
guest visiting,
lend me your ear, listening
shimmering as he shines bright
twinkling, divide, partitioning
locked up, imprisoning
doodle, scribbling
SA drill
spicing with flavor
seasoning, using my head
thinking of reasons
to justify reasoning
for dazzling,
as we settle in
round 2 smurfed but
not blue, more a colored
hue, repping cape town
awe bru, wake up
disabling snooze
jesters you fools
visionary when I see
first from the back
they all lose
not a masquerade it's all true
deadline my times due
ask mew 2, pokemon
index, it's perplex
get ash too, over
a cuckoos nest birds flew
seeking asylum hes crazy
still frosty so cool
yu gi it's time to
dddd duel
this the part where spazz out
remove doubt, running circles
on tracks, roundabout,
roundhouse kick to chin and mouth
no handout, grind out
red hot
circular rounded
noise drowned out, not shouting for clout
cant recognize skill,
take this pill, it will break
the spell my tracks stackable
not saying this sarcastical
sarcastically or sarcastic
not applicable, resolve soluble
doubt dissolve i'm liquid cyanide
every track i **** surgeons
precision with a scalpel
so skilful, I sculpture
syllables in rhyme schemes
unseen to the naked ear
class dismissed school bell
so tell all its not all folks
not ****** toons no jokes
not ****** tunes, with lazy tones
I have lampoons, that ******
death squad platoon
you'll be history lying in ruins
surfing these dunes no fear
seeing things as the series turns
with unclear reasons I'm nuclear
Jan 28, 2023
Jan 28, 2023 at 9:43 AM UTC