Time passes, as time does
we text about this and that
inconsequential things
life and other chit chat

Then I confess I miss you
you say you miss me too
your virtual return is immanent
can we pick up once more
from where you left?
you ask me to please, please say yes
how can I refuse?
that's not something I can do
not when the one who asks is you

Yet something in me has changed
my inner subby needs to emerge
the one who made that clear
stands in the wings, cajoling
and when your return is delayed, I succumb

Then, when you arrive it's no contest
I'm yours, there's no doubt
you offer me your Dominance too
that's something you feel you can do
it'll suit you better than subbing
I have doubts this is the best path for you
at least, until you've learned to let go
but I can't be the hand to guide you
at least not now,
not at this point of my own journey

And though I know you can't really be mine
still my need for you outweighs all these things
only with you can my heart have wings
and I accept on these terms
I'd accept on any terms at all
because life without you is unthinkable

We build castles that are too large or too small
we build pubs and houses that aren't castles at all
then you find one the right size
with rooms to explore
I furnish it when you're not there
hang art on the walls and more

Though I call you 'Mistress'
we carry on as before
until the day when suddenly
that word means more

Out of the blue my kiss is refused
no explanation, no warning
the rules have changed
I'm hurt and confused
the pain goes deep
and I'm rebuked
I blink back the tears and slowly adjust
this isn't unwelcome, just too sudden
but we get through
then both surrender to lust

That night the emotions flood
as do the tears
something beyond sub drop seizes me
there's the fear that from now on
the protocol will rule
that spontaneity is gone
that the ease of communication is broken
that too much will now remain unspoken
the initial hurt of your rejection
of my kiss returns
deep down inside it burns

I have to explain
that a gradual path
would have caused less pain
that negotiation and consent
are needed at each step
but you hear criticism and ingratitude
that I'm rejecting your gift
when what I wanted all along
was to build something that was ours
not to have another's form of control
adopted and replicated by you
that it was always about loving you for you
not so much about needing you
to be a particular way
but you're not hearing
and you say we won't try that again
it turns out to have been the last time
we made even virtual love

Once again the gaps grow
the distances expand
your appearances are further apart
I feel the need to say something
to tell you I feel I'm expected
to give out more and more
while getting less and less in return
that something needs to change

But when I see you next
you steal those very words from my mouth
and turn them against your other half
who constantly asks more from you
but offers less to meet your needs
(those same needs I'd give anything,
have already given so much, to meet)

But I bite my tongue
reflect on the irony
and offer you more
offer you sympathy
try to make it better
because I love you

After that, things move faster
her body clock is ticking down
she needs to feel new life grow within
but this is a step beyond for you
not a thing you're ready for
you move out yet it's several days
before you tell me this

I'm hurt again that you didn't
immediately turn to me
yet this is the seed of realisation
that we won't ever be
though the seed doesn't yet take root
for a while yet, hope remains

Then you say you're broken
you stand at the crossroads
say you know which way to turn
say you know your relationship
isn't right and must end

I weep for your pain
yet am filled with hope
that soon it'll be resolved
that at last I'll hold you
and call you mine

Later I learn that even as you tell me this
you tell another that you know you must return
yet are tempted by the attention of another
I wonder if this temptress
is chocolate valentine Argus woman
or yet another so far unmentioned

When next we talk
you have returned to her
yet have made your position clear
by staying out all night
and my heart sinks
it matters not who or what
entertained or sustained you
through that night
but that once again
you hadn't turned to me

I try to make these feelings known
we argue
and neither of us
can do this
any more...

The eve sets the stage
For amber turning to red
In the drink smothered

Hungered for a taste
  of your elixir's essence,
drunken inhalations
   of your poetry
a splendiferous whirl
 of time & space 'tween
darkly scented moons
    and sun's adoration,
blithe starry nights
amidst meditative new
dawn's effervesce,
 spirited of the heart,
gleaned in the soul,
yearnings of another
  chapter's paradise
universal experiences
etched of hourglass sand,
 written upon endlessly
    chimerical verses
wildflower gardens drenched
    of dandelion's plum wine
swooning under a
hypnotic scripted spell,
intoxicating power
of unchained symphonies
dancing amongst skies'
released euphoria
 resonating in a song's
   reprised melodies,
breathlessness of delirium's
  celestial pauses
  in vaporous breezes'
  unfurling undulation,
captivated by rhythmic
  destiny reverberating in
     *****' pleasurable calling
  quenched of sacred
     offering's quell
transcending earthly
   persuasions' rhyme,
let me lick the nectar from
   your  poesy's  insatiable  lips,
sweet mercy's healing
   captured in rapturous
   surrender's reawakening ~

Je veux que vous tous,

tu me manques*



Ce que vous manquez de moi?

"We work with the substantial,
but the emptiness is what we use."


If all things were equal it plays out like this:

A rainy day and we're at the Rose Garden
Your father bought the seats. He enjoys that I like sports so much,
Takes him back to a simpler time when he played in a gym similar to this
Where he met your mother
You're in black and it has nothing
to do with the team colors
You say it's a phase and I believe it

We scale Nanda Devi and you look the part of the mountain's name
You look the way you did on the afternoon I met you.
I wonder where the levee is this time
Above the clouds we are naked to the sun and the sky,
naked and raw to each other
and it feels whole and honest

Feverish night in a dive bar in La Paz
there are skulls on the wall
I think to what end
Men and women crowd the floor
The band is hitting its stride after a marathon set  
We dance until we are both in many different places
Some of which involve the person we are dancing with
Sometimes we are alone in front of a mirror
I've never had to help you stand at the end of the night
You never have to ask me to go outside

Intertwined tightly on a twin bed, maybe for the night
A train eats up track in the distance.
We remember now when we shared a room.
(Tops of two bunk-beds, as if lying on two different shores)
Arms around you and I forget the concept of possession

Travelling higher than God through my former wasteland
Skyline was littered with star spangled pariahs
and the Earth swallowed the bones of the believers
And for the street youth, burning rage into their skin and choking the ashes down for supper they left no shelter
These are the spirits that sing your soulless chorus
These are the ghosts that bear your unborn demons in utero
These are the convicts that kneel humbled outside your door, crossing themselves in fervor every time you walk past
These are the junkies that sketch your morbid admiration in dull sidewalk chalk
These are the con men that pace restless across your bitter heart
And these are the children you lead to ruin, baptized by filth and fury

Wasteland, I gave you my youth
The screams of the lovers I buried with you haunt me still
Though the cathedral of the ghosts I made has long since emptied
My brothers, my sisters, my dearly departed psychoses
For you all I will return, a martyred liar,
Crucify me atop the graveyard of my artwork
And paint shades of vivid gray with my ashes
Wasteland, I've given you all and now I'm nothing

sleeping soundly,
my love beside me.
i wonder if he knows,
my midnight woes.

not long ago,
i met a beau.
denying his glamour,
would cause me to stammer.

but i am reminded again,
of my sweet man.
nothing could change my love,
as pure as a white dove.

temptation is hard to resist,
but true love always persists.

Because when I drain my coffee and see my face reflecting in the dark glossy bottom of the mug, my eyes are holding something that I can't blink away.

No matter how hard I try, it sits along my lashline, glazed over my pupil, reddening the corners and doubling my vision.

I set my mug down. I've dripped coffee on my t-shirt. My eyes are gripping tight to a sensation that is so painfully familiar that it almost feels welcome. Like I wouldn’t know what to do if it ever left.

It’s a scary comfort, curling up in that feeling. I know it so well. Sometimes I want to reach out and cradle it against my chest where it purrs like a childhood cat. It’s beautiful and black, sleek, with paws so big they weigh down on my chest. Makes it hard to breathe but I don't dare move.

My hands find reprised solace along the ridges of its back, petting patterns down its silky fur. When I look down all I see is its big yellow eyes, drowning my sight and filling every corner with that numbing company.

It's a dangerous cat, whose dark slivered pupils I see in my own. In the bottom of a mug, a storefront reflection, a dark screen. It's so comfortable that I sometimes forget to miss the feeling of being alone.

My legs are pins and needles where it sits in my lap. Makes it hard to believe I'll ever stand again. It's a blessing to have a quiet mind.

The cat purrs and purrs and purrs.

Rumble strips and road trips
Drive until I catch the night
Right shoulder tears for all my fears
Thruways admit I lost the fight.

An eye for an eye
Left turn for left turn
GPSs always lie
A truth for a truth
Reroute our directions but we'll
Never regain our wasted youth.

Now again I'm drifting off
The road signs mean I'm never lost
But the rumble strip will always grind
Until I forget what I drove to find.

Highway markers flashing by
In tired hate I wonder why
Until the sun must also rise
This painful day will be reprised.

Hands off the wheel, forget to blink
This desolate night is not what you think
A split second glance in my rearview
Confirms what I already knew
For though my stance to run was wrong
There's no denying you were in the back seat all along.

You were my crown jewel
But you played me like a fool
You were my crown jewel
But you play me like a fool

.  .  .

I used to look at your smile
And think I'm gonna stay awhile
Move into our very own house
Work through all of our trials

But now it seems that's all we share
Souls that never touch, never paired
Two desperate suns, separate glows
Arms in display, like an old gun show

Except when yours lays on mine
It doesn't hurt me, it makes me feel fine
But it makes me feel uneasy at the same time
Lying on finger tips, lie you and I

I want to inhale your love
And I want to forgive your hate
But whenever I open my mouth
You feel the need to retaliate

Wait, this isn't how it's supposed to be
If I think about flying, you won't be waiting on me
I'm accumulating miles so rapidly
I'm going to break down, just wait and see

I'm trying to find a way to fill in the space
Between your heart and mine, but it's been a waste
Because you get mad again until you red in the face
And then I stop and try to switch up the pace

I know at this time
It's like we're having a race
Me going towards you
You facing away

The conditions under which
Our love was built
Was lust mixed with lies
Six joker cards were dealt

I try to hide and conceal how I feel
But you can always tell when it's not real
I question why I love you still
Thoughts in my mind, willing me to be killed

And if my blood gets spilled,
Will you really be there?

Or will you be holding the gun,
Standing in underwear?

I'm only asking
Because of the look in your eye
No emotions to show
The darkness has reprised

It's ultimate role
In concealing our light
What we used to hold
A tiny bit of shine

Because you truly believe I need you
And to an extent this is truth

But the extent is marginal, proof
I'll love you, but I'll leave you too

Suppose we reap seeds we've sown
Too many broken hearts in our wake

Alone

Alone

Suppose we reap seeds we've sown
Too many broken hearts in our wake

Alone

Alone

.  .  .

You were my crown jewel
But you played me like a fool
You were my crown jewel
But you play me like a fool

.  .  .

Manipulated the masses
through media.
Clear the air
for an explosion of silence
before the first acoustics
pierce through the ears
to the spongy minds
of the adolescence.
Close your eyes and
imagine the edited sounds
of the juxtaposition,
clashing the rhythms and melodies
mixed with the reprised chorus of
repugnant magnitude,
meaningless crybaby lyrics
and off-key utterance
with agonizing commercialism.
Corporate record companies
hide behind thick black velvet curtains
and produce highly profitable garbage,
so bad that it sounds like a
dead baby being slapped
against an untuned violin.
Pulling the strings on
radio stations like marionettes
to spread these undesirable
golden oldies like wildfire.
Using and abusing music television
to overplay videos repeatedly
until it nauseates your innards.
These puppet masters reel
the uneducated into the
blackest tar pits and capture
their gray matter for eternity
to what they believe to be
is acceptable music.
Unknowledgeable and unaware
of anything else in existence.
In a world that makes haste,
we don't take the time anymore
to appreciate what we listen to
that actually fulfills and pleases
our soul, body and mind.
Generation after generation
declining into the sludge and slop
of objectifying and degrading compositions.

Record stores hold sanctuary.

Providing hidden gems and treasures
for explorations.
Rummaging through the LPs and EPs
and scrutiny of 45s and 7 inches
to find the pearl in the oyster
concealed under piles of
flotsam and jetsam,
thrift store throwaways.
Music lovers are like
archaeologists and scuba divers
rediscovering obscure rarities
in old crates of the deepest,
darkest depths of
mildew basement cellars.
One moment before the next,
in the highest fidelity
as the needle drops on the licorice pizza
and off the twang comes
the lovely wax statics
of the most ******* reverberations.
All the little hairs stand upright
and tingle the back of your neck
and arms as the notes
flow off your fingertips
and you fall into a
complete state of euphoria,
like a Buddhist that's reached
Nirvana.
Gritty Maestros of the underworld
construct celestial symphonies,
so soothing they can tame
the wildest beasts and
orchestrate the most
diabolical spazz noid cacophonies
as the high frequencies skirmish
through cracked speakers.
Music can summon the demons
inside you while reaching
therapeutic climaxes
simultaneously.

A moment of reprised sentience retrospectively retrograding on its own
Deeds done ago
Revering its alter right
  

lead as stones and alive
Substract whats unchanneled revivified its denials

Polarize whats neccessary and in ;undeniably  benéfact
If that was riddling you away
And but dont only be able to dictate
Learn to appreciate each imprint

plant the seed
beget the tree
protect the greed
neglect the free
comprised of thoughts
of two, rest, see
reprised and taught
idolatry

a chromatic eye now strips me
how long will we see it this way?
that which we acquired quickly
it trickles down day by day

i know that a movement ripples
i know that a payment trickles down
i know that a little by little
the ceiling will come crumbling down

The final verse
The silent curse
In harmony, rehearsed.
All voices rise
A hymn reprised
Their words heard in reverse.

The rites of time henceforth proclaim,
A soul and skin decreed by name,
A toll within the heart aflame,
Step forward and asperse.

To heaven and hell, it's all the same
So be deliberate and terse.

The ritual will only get worse

And your time already came.

By; Cedric McClester

It’s not about religion
But I must say
It’s of interest to me
How you pray
Do you face a qibla
Or the cross let’s say
Do you pray once in a while
Or five times a day

It’s not about religion
But it looks that way
Which is how it is interpreted
No matter what you say
Or why are certain countries
Brought into play
But countries where they came from
Are not, okay?

It’s not about religion
But Muslims are demonized
And the ugly head of racism
Has been reprised
Yet racism is racism
Under any guise
And that just shouldn’t be
Word to the wise

It’s not about religion
But that’s a lie
Despite what else is said
It’s just an alibi
Just look at what they’re doing
And it’s no wonder why
The law of retribution
Will one day apply














Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2017.  All rights reserved.

When I had you, I didn’t know at the time
what a beautiful thing it was, for you to be mine
Since we parted, I now realize
we stopped before we started,
it was a dead end in disguise
You were the best thing that ever happened to me
I can’t let go the thought of you even though we’re history

Because I lost you,
lost you to another guy
One who makes you happy
& who doesn’t make you cry
Yeah, I lost you & it tears me up inside
I treated you so badly
I wonder how I could have been so blind

When I had you, I tried to change who you were
reconstruct & re-arrange, until the real you was a blur
Broken hearted, it’s a role now reprised
another dear departed, a love I lost that died
The way you held me tight & looked into my eyes
made me feel so loved, it kept me warm inside
The thought of you not there beside me in my life
kills me more & more each day like a stab wound from a knife

Because I lost you,
lost you to another guy
One who makes you happy
& who doesn’t make you cry
Yeah, I lost you & there’s not a day gone by
That I don’t think about you babe,
honey this is not a lie

I’m haunted daily by the memories I have,
There’s no escaping, the ghost that you left behind
I know it’s crazy but my lonely hearts still aching
you were My World, My Light, My Life

Yeah, I lost you,
lost you to another guy
One who makes you happy
& who doesn’t make you cry
Yeah, I lost you & although I try & try
you cannot escape my thoughts,
you are always on my mind

I sat on the rocks
By the New Bedford docks
And waited for his boat to return

But the sun went to hiding
Bringing ever bad tidings
And a sea where last lessons are learned

My time spent in vain
For not even a plane
Could find a boat headed out of that storm

As the sea roiled upward
My hopes were dragged under
Which my soul was to curse and then scorn

And the streets emptied out
Churches packed and devout
As the old ones did swear and rebuke

The women all cried
With new legends reprised
As the Parson read words in tribute

Till at the church by the dock
From whence he had left
From its window I yelled through the tears…

“Look to the harbor this night,
  the mourning over, I sight:  
     —My Daddy’s Gaff Schooner is here”

(Villanova Pennsylvania: March, 2015)