In this chapter, the researcher reviewed the opinion of some past and recent writers on the subject and also added their own ideal under the following sub-headings:
- Conceptual frame work
- Theoretical frame work
- Empirical frame work
- Summary

2.1. CONCEPTUAL FRAME WORK
CONCEPT OF ZOOLOGICAL GARDEN

The concept zoological garden is a form of ex – situ conservation, which primarily involves keeping of animals alive outside their natural environment for aesthetic educational researches and recreational purpose (Varadharajan and Pythol 2000). Nigeria is blessed with abundant wildlife species which needs to be properly managed in a sustainable basis to prevent depletion (Opara et –al 2010). Hence the need to adapt strict management of resources, repopulation of endangered species and conservation of wildlife park and zoological garden and management strategies (Ajebede et – al 2010).
Throughout history, human have given value to other species of animals as means of entertainment, education and spirituality in addition to being source of food and clothing (front 2011, 69) collecting and exhibiting and exhibiting animals originated from Ancient Egypt where private collection were reserved for the higher class population as a symbol of wealth and power (wearing and jobberns 2011, 19 – 50). In the 1900’s, zoo’s based themselves as conservation movement, with focus on scientific study of endangered species. In the beginning of the 20th century, zoo became an attraction of mass audiences (Beardworth and Bryan 2001, 88). By the late 1900’s there was a shift in the natural of zoo with public attitude and interest changing nature and conservation, with concern for ecosystem and awareness as they protect endangered species (Wearing and Jobbern 2011, 50.

ROLES OF ZOOLOGICAL GARDEN
(Mason 2011, 189) reveal that the roles of zoo are:
a. Educating people about animals.
b. Conservation of endangered species
c. Safeguarding the welfare visitors
d. To generate revenue
e. Providing visitors facilities such as catering and merchandising
f. Re – introducing captive breeding into the wild and carrying out zoological and veterinary research to improve animal welfare in the wild and in captivity.
On the other hand, zoos served as scientific research, for example, zoologist learn more about animals habit and diseases by studying them in zoos studies of animals living kin zoo, together with examination of those that have died have provide zoologist with information about the structure and function of animal bodies (Usher M.B 2000). Keeping wildlife animals in captivity bring visitors from different parts of the world for different purposes such as to provide sources of recreation in the city, to provide biological specimen to constitutes, a learning resource for secondary school, colleges, and universities. It also provide employment and game reserve, provides sources of protein revenue, esthetics recreation, education and scientific values (Presley 2001). The captive animal propagation is one way of encouraging growth of depleted wildlife species population and so properly planned program of zoo establishment and development is considered as one of effective method for conservation of wildlife (Okpiri 2005). Educational environment study and conservation of the  environment have become a subject of major importance all over the world, not only from the point of view of preventing population, but also from the point of conserving water supplies by protecting water shed, conserving soil, vegetarian and Fauna. (Comphell 2007). Comphell also stated that conservation zoos can provide an important facility for research at both pure and applied levels in both the field and laboratory in colleges and universities. Bigot (2000) emphasized that the primary function of zoo curators is to make visit a leaving experience. The attention and effort given to wildlife conservation and tourism in both state and federal levels have been noted.

CONCEPT OF TOURISM
According to UNWTO 2020 defined as the study of man away from his usual habitat. Activities of a person traveling to and staying in places outside their usual environment for not more than one consecutive year for leisure, business and other purposes, tourism contributes to specie conservation, communities project in developing countries like: Nigeria, environmental education, awareness and economies development (Klutzy, 2000). Filton et al (2000) reported that 20 – 40 percent of international tourism is related to wildlife. In Nigeria, tourism contributed 3.3 percent of total GDP in 2011 with forecast of a 10.8 percent increase for 2012 (WTTC 2012). Smith et al (2012) recognized the role of wildlife tourism as building breeding species management and influencing visitor’s behavior for the benefit of wild animals. Fibs (2007) underscored the value of zoo visitors and their feedbacks for the planning and designing of zoo and more importantly to decision making in zoo management by showing on – going treads. He therefore stands to reason that visitors’ preferences should be seriously considered by policy makers and management of zoo and other similar institutions. An area in which visitors’ preference is highly important for a zoo in particular is choice of animals desired. Woods (2000) observed that humans have definite preference for different species of animals. Knowledge of visitors desires in terms of animals and the features that make the animals appealing will assist zoo management in animal acquisition and also in development of education and interpretation programs listening physical features, behavioral characteristics as factors influencing animals preference (Wood 2000, Wentworth 2012). Wild tourism can be described as tourism undertaken to view and or encounter non – domesticated animals in captive, semi – captive or in their natural environment (CRC 2001, Newsome et al 2005). According to Durbary (2004), it could be non consumptive such as viewing, photographing and fishing.

CONCEPT OF ZOO AND EDUCATION
In zoo and education, a study by Patricia et al 2007 states that conservation and education are key elements in the mission statement of zoos. A survey conducted by the Association of zoo and aquarium (AZA) reveals that the general public rate conservation and education as the most important role of zoo (Frasers and Stickler 2008). Zoo primarily deals with three aspects of conservation practice i.e practice, advocacy and research. Conservation practice entails captive breeding, species rein-introduction programs, species survival plans and the use of zoo revenue for conservation programs in wild. Conservation advocacy include: public engagement, promoting awareness, advocacy, stewarding and fund raising events and schemes, a good example of which is like “Adopt animal scheme at most modern zoos”. Moreover, conservation research is conducted on wildlife biology, population dynamics, animal behavior, health and welfare and there are also publications generated by zoos animals care captivity. The preservation of animals in zoos makes it easier for more people to see them.
As well, zoos have been used to preserve various endangered species. However, zoos have become powerful educational tool for many scholars, biologists and researchers (Falk and Dierking 2000).  Individual who visit a zoo get the rare opportunity to examine the relationship between man and animal (Wagoner and Jenson 2010). Students can learn a lot about certain animals that might not be locally available. Many specimen and animals (Wagner and Jensen 2010) argue that zoo makes it possible for researchers to conduct their studies, for instance, researchers can use caged animals to make various observation about wildlife or animals. The acquired knowledge can be used to support the survival of the wild animals in their natural habitats. It is therefore agreeable that zoos have an important educational role in every society. This because, learning is ever – changing process (Falk and Dierking 2000). In the 1970’s the primary educational target for most American zoo was elementary level children. The idea was that building understanding would lead to appreciation which would eventually produce a generation that was concerned about wildlife and the environment (Wheatly 2000). Wheatly emphasized that although children are still a primary audience, zoos are extending themselves to reach many others audience that can make difference in action today. This initiative includes the membership, governance and employee of zoo.

CONCEPT OF ZOO AND CONSERVATION
In zoo and conservation, according to Max – Planck Gesell Chaft (2011), Zoology garden breeds animal from threatened populations and and thus makes greater contributions towards biodiversity conservation. According to UN (2020) on global biodiversity warned that 1 million species are at risk of extinction with decades, putting the world’s natural life support system in jeopardy. Unfortunately, loss of plants and animals habitat leads to from species extinctions and loss of diversity from ecosystem. Fortunately, not all of the extinctions occur at once. Conservation action may still be able to save threatened species (John M et al 2016). At October 2010, meeting of the Convention on Biological Diversity (CBD) in Nagoya, Japan, delegates discussed a plan to reduce pressure in the planet’s biodiversity. Key targets include expanding coverage of protected areas, halving the rate of loss of natural habitats, and preventing extinction of threatened species. Species whose habitat is severely threatened, however, the outlook is so bleak that the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN), the US Endangered Species Act and the CBD (Article a) recognize that In-Situ conservation action (ie, in the species natural habitat) will need to be combined with Ex-Situ approaches, such as captive breeding in zoos, aquariums and so on (Conde et al 2011).

THE THEORETICAL FRAME WORK
The animal welfare and management (Dakin 2001) is a state of being that can be measured, recognized that its ranges from very poor to very good, introduces the concept of coping, allow measurement separate from moral consideration and refer to feeling as well as physical and psychological health. The definition of welfare that we use also emphasizes that it relates to an individual and thus welfare can differ between different members of the same species, even when exposed to the same condition (Horsey et al 2009). In the case of zoo animals, which have often come from very heterogeneous background, individuals may vary greatly in this previous life experiences and this can influence their ability to cope with certain challenges, by using each animal as its environment and thus an individual’s welfare can be measured.
There are also some species – specific characteristics that have evolved to enable animals cope with different, environment and thus we should also consider welfare at the species level; such species level adaptation could relate to dietary needs, hearing sensitivity, thermo-regulatory needs and so on. The theory of evolution by natural selection, first formulated in Darwin’s book “On the origin of species” in 1859, this theory states Organisms change over time as result of changes in heritable physical or behavioral traits. Changes that allow an organism to better adapt to its environment will help it to survive and have more offspring. The physical and behavioral changes that make natural selection possible happen at the level of DNA and gene, such changes are called Mutation. “Mutations are basically the raw materials on which evolution act. Pobiner said, mutation can be caused by random error in DNA replication or repair, or by chemical of radiation damage. According to Chinaka (2019) in the book concept of evolution, Charles Darwin proposed the concept of natural selection as the mechanism of evolution. The main postulates of Darwinism are:
1. Geometric increase: According to Darwinism, the populations tends to multiply geometrically and the reproductive powers of living organism (biotic potential) are much more than required to maintain their numbers.
2. Limited food and space
3. Struggle for existence
4. Variation etc
Both natural animal populations and those in captivity are subject to evolutionary forces. Evolutionary changes to captive populations may be an important, but poorly understood, factor that can affect the sustainability of these populations. The importance of maintaining the evolutionary integrity of zoo populations especially those that are used for conservation efforts including rein-introductions is critical for the conservation of biodiversity.
Greater appreciation for an evolutionary perspective may offer important insights that can enhance the reproductive success and health examples and associated strategies that highlight this approach, including minimizing domestication (ie genetic adaptation to captivity), integrating natural mating systems into captive breeding protocols, minimizing the effects of translocation on variation in photoperiods and understanding the interplay of parasites and pathogens and inflammation. Captive populations can adapt rapidly to captive environments through demonstration, in which human impose artificial selection in order to increase the prevalence of desired traits in the domesticated population.
For domestic animals, human breeders choose to breed only those individuals that thrive in the captive environments, leading to trans-generational changes that result in a population that is adapted to breed and survive in the conditions imposed by the breeders. Among captive population of animals, zoo populations are unique in that they are maintained to educate the public regarding wildlife and their habitat or to preserve critically endangered species through captive breeding and reinforcement program. Although assessment and preservation of genetic diversity is a top priority for most conservation breeding programs, fundamental to these goals is the maintenance of the genetic variation of these captive populations (Lacy 2009). Whether used to further educational or conservation goals, it is critically that these captive population are representative of the natural populations from which they are desired (Ashley et al 2003). However, maintaining captive population, such that they are reflective of the wild phenotype of the animals, can be challenging in zoos because of the mismatch the environments that the zoo population is originally from and the captive content in which they are been housed. Hendry et al 2015 carol et al 2014, for example, solitary animals with large territories that only encounter sexually mature counterparts during estrus may be housed in proximity of their mate year round, potentially leading to the behavioral issues, including ****** aggregation or ****** incompatibility. Other stressor can exist in captive environments for which animals are not adapted, including the acoustic environments, physical substrate and even availability of food (Morgan and Tromborg 2007). Minimizing the mismatch between the natural environment and the captive environment and they should limit the decline and poor performance of captive populations (Hendry et al 2011; Carrol et al 2014). Captive environments are very different from the wild and can impose different selection pressures that can lead to genetic adaptation in the captivity that affects behaviors (eg: temperaments; MC Douglas et al 2006), morphology (eg; size, skeletal morph metric O’ Regan and Kitchener 2005); and reproductive output (eg; age at ****** maturity, letter size). In particular populations of species with short generation times will adapt more rapidly to captivity than those with long generation time (Frankham 2008).
Social learning theory is the idea that children from observing. According to the learning theory, learning is based on social interaction with the environments (Nwamuo et al 2006). As children walk around the zoo, they are exposed to words and concepts. It also encourages dialogue between parents, siblings, friends and zoo guards (Jessica 2014)  visiting the zoo help the children and other visitors to understand the importance of taking care of the environments as it has a significant impact on lives and welfare of animals and importance of conservation and animal care which will never be forgotten. According to (Nwamuo et al 2006) social learning theory plays a big role in how people and especially learn. There are four elements to social learning theory including:
• Attention: Children can’t learn if they aren’t focused on the task. Students who see something unique or different are more likely to focus on it, helping to learn just as in zoo.
• Retention: people learn by internalizing information later when we can recall that information later when we respond to a situation in the same way which we saw.
• Reproduction: in the way we are able to reproduce our previously learn behavior or knowledge when it’s required. Practicing our response in our head or in action can improve the way we response.
• Motivation

Operant conditioning of behaviors theory of B.F Skinner, enclosure design and environmental enrichment strategies have all been suggested to improve the welfare of zoo animals by reducing stereotypical behavior and rein-introduction success of wildlife species. (WAZA 2015). Thus, the use of these strategies has important consequences for zoological collections. Despite the recognition and wild-scale implementation of such strategies, however, concerns around global zoo animal welfare remain and behavioral pathologies are common in many species. (Luhrs 2010) using operant conditioning, some of the barriers to delivering positive welfare experiences through holistic behavioral management strategies to zoo animals and make recommendations for institutional approaches towards improving zoo animal welfare using examples of Abnormal Repetitive Behaviors (ARBs) through targeted behavioral management.

EMPIRICAL FRAMEWORK
According to P.A Anadu (2000) on his study wildlife conservation in Nigeria: problems and strategy a case study of wildlife reserve of University of Benin, the major treats to nature conservation in Nigeria and he reviewed critically the measures adopted for the protection of wildlife. According the study, the major problem includes habitat degradation (through uncontrolled logging, agricultural projects, industrial plantations, highway and urban development’s and exploitation for fuel wood) over hunting and poaching.
He suggested that to protect wildlife include the creation of more game reserve, enactment of wildlife laws, signing of international treaties and manpower development. According to his research through interview with about 10 workers or staff of the wildlife reserve, the major treats to the area include poaching and hunting, indiscriminate feeling of forest trees, low funding, inadequate game laws and weak enforcement of the existing legal provisions.
It is suggested that the Federal Government should intervene more positively in favor of conservation by creating more national parks and assuming joint responsibility with the states for formulating wildlife laws. Furthermore, the role of nongovernmental organizations in influencing conservation policies and mobilizing public opinion will be cruial in different years ahead.
In the journal “A synopsis of wildlife conservation in Nigeria by Timothy A Afolaya  2009, this article emphasized the recent developments in the overall conservation program in Nigeria as it describes the important role which wildlife is playing in helping to feed the nation, in creating employment opportunities, in education in research, in recreation and in local medicine. Inadequately of Nigerian wildlife legislation and of the trained manpower to protect and manage the wildlife resources are among the crucial wildlife management problems identified. It is also stressed that the basic information for effective management is often lacking where Nigerian wildlife reserved are concerned. It also stressed that the main problems facing wildlife conservation in Nigeria include poaching, over exploitation, lack accurate data, bush burning that destroys wildlife habitat. There is adequate reliable database to facilitate forestry planning and development. Weak forest policy and implementation, forest policies lacks legal backing and hence its enforcement is difficult. The Nigeria forestry policy Act, 1937 is subsumed in the National Agricultural Policy of 1988. Forest tariffs are relatively low and are not revised frequently penalties under most laws are low and seldom enforced. It suggested that Nigeria forestry policy act should be reviewed or renew and encourage the government to implement the policies adequately and enforce penalties on the offenders.
Jonathan (2009) in his own study animal wildlife conservation under multiple land use system in Nigeria reveals that out of 6 selected zoological garden and game reserves in six geopolitical zones in Nigeria. The situation of wildlife in Nigeria is nevertheless different. Except in the Yankari, upper Ogun and Kwiabaha, Game Reserves and the Kainji lake National park, little efforts have been made to protect the Nigerian animal wildlife resources from human pressure and wide spread extinction. To many, what remains of the wildlife animals are best seen in the few state owned zoological gardens in Nigeria?
However, because most indigenous large animal species including Elephant, Buffalo, Chimpanzee, Gorilla, Rhinoceros, Leopard and Ostrich have not been able to reproduce in the various zoological garden so far, the hope to conserve this animals are brittle.
According to his work, animal wildlife is a declining resource in Nigeria because of unplanned land use practices. For example, land uses in game reserves are often conflicting and contradictory for land uses, timber extraction, hunting; food crop production and settlement are simultaneously going on in game reserves with little or no control measures and with no management plans. The excessive demands for land these conflicting uses have greatly disturbed the ecosystems involved, thus making the survival of the wild animals uncertain. Specially, the problems of wildlife conservation in Nigeria are:
a. Poaching
b. Indiscriminate burning of the vegetations
c. Uncontrolled grazing activities in the reserves
d. Intensive logging for domestic and industrial uses
e. Users rights on the reserves enjoyed by the traditional owners of the land before reservation
f. Lack of adequate fund to manage the reserve
g. Ineffective legislation
h. Lack of trained manpower
i. Urban sprawl
j. Infrastructural development of roads, electric and telegram lines and irrigation schemes.
k. Lack of modern enclosure or caging
l. Inability of animals to breed within the captive environment.

He then emphasized that the picture for Nigerian animal wildlife depends on the nation’s ability to conserve what is left either in their natural habitat or at least, in zoological gardens. The game reserve should be reduced to manageable numbers while state governments should win public sympathy through adequate conservation publicity and the provision of sufficient vehicles and personnel to manage the game reserves. The policy of land use in game reserves should be conducted on:
a. The number and species of animals hunted per year
b. The population of animals species in the game reserves and their habitat sustainability
c. The endangered and extinct animals species and specific reasons for the decline in their population
d. Human problems peculiar to each reserve and ways of minimizing them.
e. Establishment of rein-introduction programs.

SUMMARY
The establishment of zoos in a society is premised partly on the idea of bringing man close to wild animal’s species (Yager et al 2015). This establishment has various roles to play in the ecosystem and all endeavors of life. The role of zoological garden as well as wildlife conservation is as follows:
1. Education: zoos are established for the preservation of animal to make it easier for more people to see them and learn their characteristics and habitat. Zoo animals are used for specimens both for secondary schools students and tertiary institution as well as teaching the public the benefit of wildlife. A survey conducted by the Association of Zoos and Aquarium (AZA) reveals that, the general public rate conservation and education as the most important role of zoo (Fraser and Stickler 2008).
2. Conservation: of endangered species to avoid extinction of such animal.
3. Tourism:  it serves as a centre of tourism as people from different parts of the country visit to learn about nature at their leisure.
4. Generating revenue for the government as well as provides employment opportunities individuals etc
Most problems encountered in Nigerian zoos include:
• Poaching
• In availability of breeding species
• Lack of trained personnel’s
• Lack of fund by the Government
• Lack of infrastructure and conservation facilities.

I've been acquainted with the following
psychoactives compounds:

Depressants & Dissociatives;
Ethanol / EtOH / alcohol, drink, *****
γ-Hydroxybutyric acid / GHB / G, fantasy
β-Phenyl-γ-aminobutyric acid / PhGABA / Phenibut
Dextromethorphan / DXM / Benylin, Robitussin
Morphine / Papaver somniferum / *****
3-Methylmorphine / Codeine
Dihydrocodeine / DHC
Buprenorphine / Subutex, Suboxone
N-Allylnoroxymorphone / Naloxone / Suboxone, Narcan
Tramadol / Ultram
O-Desmethyltramadol/ O-DSMT / Omnitram
Thiopental / Sodium Pentothal
Diazepam / ******
2'-Chlorodiazepam / Ro5-3448 / Diclazepam
4'-Chlorodiazepam / Ro5-4864
Chlordiazepoxide / Librium
Gidazepam, hidazepam
Desalkylgidazepam / Bromonordiazepam
N-Desalkylfluarazepam / Norfluarazepam
Flubromazepam
Alprazolam / Xanax
Bromazolam / XLI-268
Clonazolam, Clonitrazolam / Clam
Etizolam / Etilaam, Etizest
Flualprazolam
Flubromazolam
Zopiclone / Zimovane
Pagoclone
Promethazine / Phenergan
Diphenhydramine / DPH / Benadryl, Nytol
Chlorphenamine, chlorpheniramine / CPM / Piriton
Cetirizine / Zyrtec
Amitriptyline / Elavil
Tianeptine / Coaxil, Stablon
Mirtazapine / Remeron
Quetiapine / Seroquel
Nitrous Oxide / N2O / laughing gas
Amyl Nitrite / Poppers
Ketamine [racemic] / K, Kitty
Esketamine [S-isomer] / Special K
Deschloroketamine / 2'-Oxo-PCM / DCK
N-ethyldeschloroketamine / 2'-Oxo-PCE / O-PCE / Eticyclidone
Deoxymethoxetamine / 3-Me-2′-Oxo-PCE / DMXE
Methoxetamine / 3-MeO-2'-Oxo-PCE / MXE / Mexxy
Hydroxetamine / 3-**-2'-Oxo-PCE / HXE / Hexxy
Methoxpropamine / 2-Oxo-3'-MeO-PCPr / MXPr
Methoxisopropamine / 2-Oxo-3'-MeO-PCiPr / MXiPr
3-Hydroxyphencyclidine / 3-**-***
3-Methoxyphencyclidine / 3-MeO-***
3-Methoxyeticyclidine / 3-MeO-PCE
3-Methyleticyclidine / 3-Me-PCE

Stimulants & Enhancers;
1,3,7-Trimethylxanthine / Caffeine / Coffea, Camellia sinensis / Coffee, Tea
3,7-dimethylxanthine / Theobromine / [constituent of] Chocolate
N-Ethyl-L-glutamine / L-Theanine / [constituent of] Green Tea
Nicotine / Nicotiana / Tobacco, cigarettes, smokes
Ephedrine / Ephedra
Pseudoephedrine / Ephedra, Sudafed
Adrenaline, Epinephrine
Choline bitartrate
L-alpha glycerylphosphorylcholine / Alpha-GPC, Choline alfoscerate
Cytidine 5'-diphosphocholine / CDP-choline, Citicoline
N-Acetylcysteine / NAC
2-Dimethylaminoethyl (4-chlorophenoxy)acetate / Meclofenoxate
N-Phenylacetyl-L-prolylglycine ethyl ester / Omberacetam / Noopept
Coluracetam / BCI-540
4-Phenylpiracetam
Propranolol
(±)-2-Benzhydrylsulfinyleth­anehydroxamic acid / Adrafinil
(±)-2-[(Diphenylmethyl)sulfinyl]acetamide / Modafinil
(–)-2-[(R)-(diphenylmethyl)sulfinyl]acetamide / Armodafinil
α-Methylphenethylamine / Amphetamine, αMP / Speed
N-Methylamphetamine / Methamphetamine / ****
Lisdexamfetamine / Vyvanse, Tyvense, Elvanse
2-Fluoromethamphetamine / 2-FMA
3-Fluoroamphetamine / 3-FA /  PAL-353
4-Fluoroamphetamine / 4-FA, 4-FMP /  PAL-303 / Flux
4-Methoxyamphetamine / PMA, 4-MA / Death
5-Methoxy-2-aminoindane / MEAI, 5-MeO-AI / Chaperone, Pace
Methythiolpropamine / MPA / Blow
3-Fluorophenmetrazine / 3-FPM / PAL-593
Methylphenidate / MPH / Ritalin, Concerta
4-Fluoromethylphenidate / 4F-MPH
4-Fluoroethylphenidate / 4F-EPH
3-Methylmethcathinone / 3-MMC / Metaphedrone
3-Methylethcathinone / 3-MEC
4-Methylmethcathinone / 4-MMC / Mephedrone
4-Methylethcathinone / 4-MEC
3-Chloro-N-tert-butyl-cathinone / Bupropion / Wellbutrin, Zyban
4-Chloromethcathinone / 4-CMC / Clephedrone
4-Fluoromethcathinone / 4-FMC / Flephedrone
4-Fluoro-α-methylaminovalerophenone / 4-Fluoropentedrone / 4-FPD
α-Ethylaminocaprophenone / N-Ethylhexedrone / NEH / Hexen
alpha-Pyrrolidinohexiophenone / α-PHP / PV-7
alpha-Pyrrolidinoisohexaphenone / α-PiHP, α-PHiP
3,4-Methylenedioxy-α-pyrrolidinohexiophenone / MDPHP
3,4-Methyl​enedioxy​pentedrone / βk-MBDP / Pentylone
3,4-Methylenedioxymethcathinone / βk-MDMA / MDMC / Methylone
3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine / MDMA / ecstasy
5-(2-methylaminopropyl)benzofuran / 5-MAPB
6-(2-Aminopropyl)benzofuran / 6-APB / Benzofury
6-(2-Aminopropyl)-2,3-dihydrobenzofuran / 6-APDB / 4-desoxy-MDA
Mesembrine / Sceletium tortuosum, Kanna
Harmine / Peganum harmala / Syrian Rue
3,4,8-Trimethoxyphenanthrene-2,5-diol / Dendrobium nobile
NSI-189
4-chloro-N-(2-morpholin-4-ylethyl)benzamide / Moclobemide
Escitalopram / Cipralex, Lexapro
Fluoxetine / Prozac
Sertraline / Zoloft
Venlafaxine / Effexor
5-Hydroxytryptophan / 5-HTP / Oxitryptan

Hallucinogens & Psychedelics;
Cannabidiol / CBD / Cannabis
Cannabigerol / CBG / Cannabis
Δ9-Tetrahydrocannabinol / THC / Cannabis, Marijuana
Hexahydrocannabinol / HHC
AM-2201 / Synth-'noids, Spice
NM-2201 / CBL-2201
5C-AB-PINICA
Salvinorin A  / Salvia Divinorum / Diviner's Sage
d-Lysergic acid amide / d-Lysergamide / LSA / Ergine
Lysergic acid diethylamide / Lysergide / LSD, LAD / Acid, Lucy
Lysergic acid 2,4-dimethylazetidide / LSZ / Diazedine, Lambda, λ
1-Acetyl-lysergic acid diethylamide / 1A-LSD / ALD-52
1-Propionyl-lysergic acid diethylamide / 1P-LSD
1-Cyclopropionyl-N-Methyl-N-isopropyllysergamide / 1cP-MiPLA
6-Allyl-6-nor-lysergic acid diethylamide / AL-LAD / Aladdin
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-methylamphetamine / DOM / Dominic
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-bromoamphetamine / DOB / Aphrodite
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-chloroamphetamine / DOC / Doctor
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-methylthioamphetamine / DOT / Aleph
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-methyl-α-ethylphenethylamine / 4C-D / Ariadne
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-methylphenethylamine / 2C-D, 2C-M / Matrix
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-ethylphenethylamine / 2C-E / Eternity
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-bromophenethylamine / 2C-B / Nexus
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-chlorophenethylamine / 2C-C / Callisto
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-iodophenethylamine / 2C-I / Infinity
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-methylthiophenethylamine / 2C-T / Tesseract
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-ethylthiophenethylamine / 2C-T-2 / Rosy
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-fluoroethylthiophenethylamine / 2C-T-21 / Aurora
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-bromo-β-keto-phenethylamine / βk-2C-B
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-bromo-β-hydroxy-phenethylamine / βOH-2C-B / BOHB
2,3,6,7-Benzo-dihydro-difuran-8-bromo-ethylamine / 2C-B-FLY
2,5-Dimethoxy-N-(2-methoxybenzyl)-4-bromophenethylamine / 25B
2,5-Dimethoxy-N-(2-methoxybenzyl)-4-chlorophenethylamine / 25C
2,5-Dimethoxy-N-(2-methoxybenzyl)-4-iodophenethylamine / 25I
2,5-Dimethoxy-N-(2-hydroxybenzyl)-4-ethylphenethylamine / 25E-NBOH
3,4-Methylenedioxyamphetamine / MDA / Sass, Sally
3,4,5-Trimethoxyphenethylamine / Mescaline / M
3,5-Dimethoxy-4-ethoxyphenethylamine / Escaline
3,5-Dimethoxy-4-methallyloxyphenethylamine / Methallylescaline / MAL
α-Methyltryptamine / αMT / Indopan
N,N-dimethyltryptamine / DMT / The Spirit
N,N-dipropyltryptamine / DPT / The Light
N,N-Diisopropyltryptamine / DiPT / The Sound
N-Methyl-N-ethyltryptamine / MET / The Colour
N-Methyl-N-propyltryptamine / MPT
N-Ethyl-N-propyltryptamine / EPT
N-Methyl-N-isopropyltryptamine / MiPT / The Touch
4-Hydroxy-dimethyltryptamine / 4-**-DMT / Psilocybe / Psilocin
4-Phosphoryloxy-N,N-dimethyltryptamine / 4-PO-DMT / Psilocybin
4-Acetoxy-dimethyltryptamine / 4-AcO-DMT / Psilacetin
4-Hydroxy-N-methyl-N-ethyltryptamine / 4-**-MET / Metocin
4-Acetoxy-N-methyl-N-ethyltryptamine / 4-AcO-MET / Metacetin
4-Acetyloxy-N,N-dipropyltryptamine / 4-AcO-DPT / Pracetin
4-Acetoxy-N-methyl-N-cyclopropyltryptmine / 4-AcO-McPT
4-Acetoxy-N-methyl-N-isopropyltryptamine / 4-AcO-MiPT / Mipracetin
4-Hydroxy-N-methyl-N-isopropyltryptamine / 4-**-MiPT / Miprocin
5-Methoxy-N,N-dimethyltryptamine / 5-MeO-DMT / The God, The Power
5-Methoxy-N-methethyltryptamine / 5-MeO-MET / The Vision
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1 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

You left me hanging like Da Vinci’s paintings on the walls of the Louvre.
But I could never manage to transform my heartbreak into a masterpiece.
I need good wine, good friends and music by Solange, Emeli Sandé and Floetry.
I need to know that love and freedom are in my life even when there’s pain and heartbreak in my eyes.
I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and get some loving from you.
Let’s listen to our favourite songs while we reminisce about the love and happiness that we’ll never get back.
Happiness is an elusive feeling and I have been numb to it for some time now.
You know how depression, loneliness and heartbreak fit me well like a glove.
It has been a while since I’ve heard from you, too many days since February.
Too many days since I’ve been patiently waiting so I had to give up eventually.
I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to see you every Wednesday morning.
Every Wednesday morning, I was mourning the deaths of loved ones by celebrating the gift of life.
Too many days since February, I’ve been waiting for you to come and find me.
No amount of morphine could ever ease my pain, I am just trying to feel and find love again.
I took an Uber from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and get some loving from you.
Let’s listen to our favourite songs while we reminisce about the love and happiness that we’ll never get back.

my date with thc,
serendipitous and sublime,
like the first time
curious george killed
the black persian *****...

got me sky-hiking
in a cloud of delusion
and creativity,
climbing ladders of abstraction
for nine mystic rungs

from mundane muse,
regrettable
like drunk ***
with an octogenarian

to lucid peaks of eccentricity,
a vaunted house built by
jimi and john,
long gone,
but resurrected
this date

we split a dime
into 3 nickels
and rolled every penny
into a top-5 billboard joint

we sprayed the submarine
purple
with haze
then made the wind cry
mary
as we gazed at two
giraffes making babies
on the serengeti,
laughing hysterically
like schoolgirls watching
riding miss daisy

then the cbd kicked in
and I toodle-ooed
my two
ungratefully dead hippy
stoneheads

and crashed from
the ninth rung of
the last ladder
onto grandma's bed,

clutching the first lines of
my date with thc,
serendipitous
and
sublime...

~ P (#Pablo#hcgktbpp)

(8/12/2013)

15 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and receive closure from you.
Let’s vibe out and listen to our favourite songs by Drake and reminisce about the love that we’ll never get back.
How long can I keep holding on when all this pain becomes a reflection of everything that’s bound to go wrong?
Was I not deserving of the kind of love and happiness that I had consistently given to you?
I yearn for a reality worth dreaming about, but lately my heart has been paralysed by doubt.
Time is expensive like a Richard Mille watch but every minute I spent with you was worth it.
When my blue skies fade to grey, I listen to songs by The Weeknd and reminisce about you every single day.
I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and receive closure from you.
Now I spend my days listening to sad songs while reminiscing about the love that I’ll never get back.
These words are proof that I’m still recovering from the heartbreak I once felt a while ago in Hatfield.

It's been a year since I wrote my last poetry.
You can tell, how sad,
how uninspired,
how broke,
how am I such in deep, deep sorrow.

I always see myself as a nomad,
I always up to a new place, and new adventure.
then why when I need to move from Singapore,
I can't stop the tears.

I live on 40th floor of an HDB near Holland Village.
The market where I always buy my roasted chicken rice
and my teh-peng is only 3 mins walking distance.

If I need to go to my University, I will need to walk around 5 mins to the bus stop and catch bus number 74.
It's not that efficient because the bus will go along Buona Vista and Dover. But I don't really mind because I love sitting on the bus, listening to my playlist and let my mind wander.

I'm taking Marketing Degree from SIM Global University, one of the Top Private University in Singapore.
I will never forget the classes, the lecturers, my friends from all across Asia, my Indonesian friends, the canteen, and of course the projects and exams.
I will never forget that around 3 pm, me and my friends will go directly to the canteen on the Blok B and buy Kopi Peng together.
Oh, and sometimes we also buy chicken-popcorn and chicken-seaweed.

Around 8 pm, if we haven't finished our project, we will directly go to Holland Village, and chope seat on Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.
We will stay there- sometimes just to hang out and laugh together and sometimes we really really concentrate to finish our project until 2 am.
I still remember there was a moment when I'm really stressed out with project, and I cannot smile anymore.
With my oversized tee, shorts and hoodie, I go to the barista there, ordering iced Caramel Macchiato,
He tells me, "would you smile if I give you marshmallow?"
I smiled, and he gave me a cup full of mini marshmallows.

Sometimes, when I got no money left, I will order the small cup of iced caramel macchiato. but he free-upsized me, and I will still get the regular ones.
I miss when the life was so good to me.

My friend and I have our favorite diner, Char-grill Bar that has the best Chicken chop and teh-peng.
I swear until now, I still miss the taste of it.

I'm not a club-kinda-gal. I prefer bars.
So when I want to get a little tipsy, and I want to get a nice beer and talk,
We will go to ******* or the other local bars.

There was those time, when my friends and I feeling active, we will rent a bike around Changi,
but most of the time we prefer went to Starbucks and gossiping for hours.

There is a Bingsoo place behind Bugis Junction that opens for 24 hours. Usually, after we study on the National Library near that place, we will grab something cheap to eat. Then have a long break at the Bingsoo place for a nice chat before we take Uber to get home.

I once joined the Dragon Boat team from my University, well it only lasted for maybe 2 or 3 meetings until I gave up.
But for around 2 years I was the Student Representative of my University. So I lead the Campus Tour and go to Secondary Schools around Singapore to promote my University.

I will never forget the rainy days,
when I don't need to go to a class, I will curl up in my bed, ordering McWings and Iced Milo from McDonalds, or Swiss Shroom from FatBoy's, watch a lot of romantic comedies or youtube, and not showering the whole afternoon.
or when I have class on that day, I will run with my navy blue umbrella and navy blue slippers to catch the bus.

I have a member card on the Gardens by the bay, I always spend my alone time there,
or if not, I will be on the top of the Esplanade, where I can see the panorama of Singapore.
from the very left side, you will catch the Singapore Flyer,
then in the middle, you will see the Singapore Art Science Museum and Marina Bay Sands, Singapore's CBD Area, then the Merlion, the majestic Fullerton Hotel, lastly it is the Esplanade.

Almost every single day I go to the mall.
I don't why, but me and friends always, always go to the mall to watch movies or rent PlayStation, or I don't know- sometimes we just have nothing to do, and just hanging out together.

I was living in Singapore for 3 years.
Singapore gave me a heartbreak that I never forget;
Best-friends and a lot of friends that I cherish;
A new opportunity that gave me a life lesson;
A love that I know it is true;
A home that I can never imagine;
Memories that I can never forget;
A life lesson that God wants me to learn;
and a very grateful heart that my God is my provider, as He never ever leaves me.

I will never forget that I always have my pocket knife in my hand, especially when I walk alone in the dark.
I will never forget the friends it gave me,
I will never forget how frustrating it is to have no one by my side to count on,
I will never forget the city lights that I see from my window.
I will never forget that it all so beautiful.

well, Life goes on whether we choose to stay or not.

I will never forget those moments,
those routines,
that I thought it would last forever.
Well, like The Wise Man said,
"All good things must come to an end."

P.S
9th January 2018
10:41
*(Singapore Time)

JANUARY, THE TIME OF YEARS OF ASH, BASH THE BALL, AND NET COURTS






YA SEE EVERY TIME JANUARY COMES,, WE GET MIXED MESSAGES

THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE BASHING PEOPLE UP

AND THERE IS ALWAYS A LOT OF ASH WHERE BUSHFIRES MUST BE

YA SEE BUSHFIRES ARE ALWAYS IN JANUARY, BECAUSE IT’S SO ****** **** HOT

AND THE CRICKET, WELL THE AUSSIES ARE WINNING

AND INDIA, ARE DEFINATELY NOT

YA SEE MEN HAVE THEIR BEERS IN THE ESKY, OH ****** BETCHA DO

AND LLEYTON HEWIT LOST YESTERDAY, BOO HOO BOO HOO BOO HOO

I DID A RAIN DANCE, WHICH BROUGHT A THUNDERSTORM TO ADELAIDE

I HOPE, A LOT OF YOU DUDES, THINK OF HOLDING COOL STUFF

TO RAISE THE AMOUNT OF MONEY NEEDED

YA SEE, I AM WILLING TO ATTEND ANY EVENT NEAR ME, AND GIVE DONATIONS

OH YEAH, THAT IS SO COOL

YOU SEE, DUDES, I WAS YOUR SAVIOUR, CRONUS DID IT AGAIN

FORCED, THE FIRE TO GET UNDER CONTROL

THANKS FOR MY LITTLE RAIN DANCE


UMMMMMMMM IT WILL RAIN UMMMMMM IT DID RAIN, UMMMMMM I AM GLAD MY COSMOS OPLAN WORKED

UMMMMMMM THEY NEED $13,000,000, PLEASE DONATE UMMMMMM PLEASE DONATE

OR HOLD VARIOUS SOCIAL GATHERINGS IN YOUR AREA, PLEASE GIVE GENENEROUSLY

I HELPED A POOR MAN WHO WAS SLEEPING ON THE CEMENT IN THE CANBERRA CBD

ASND HE WAS ASLEEP, SO I THREW $2 HIS WAY, FOR A DRINK OR FRUIT OR WHATEVER HE WANTED

I WANT TO BUILD A HOMELESS HOTEL, I CAN’T HELP IT, I FEEL SORRY FOR PEOPLE LIKE HIM

I GIVE MONEY, WHEN I CAN I STRESS WHEN I CAN, TO POOR PEOPLE

SO THEY CAN HAVE A LIFE TOO, BUT I STRESS, WHEN I CAN, I DON’T WANT TO BE AN EAST TARGET

WE ALWAYS HAVE BUSH FIRES IN JANURAY, I AM GLAD I DID THAT RAIN DANCE TO HELP

NOW, I KNOW, THERE MIGHT BE TROUBLES, BUT MY MATE STEVE SAID TO ME, **** HAPPENS

I MEAN THIS IN THE NICEST POSSIBLE WAY

I AM CRONUS, BUT I AM HUMAN, I CAN’T SAVE EVERYONE RELIGIOUSLY, BUT YA CAN ****** WELL TRY

CAUSE HELPING PEOPLE, HELPS THE FUTURE GET BRIGHT, YOU HAVE TO WEAR SHADES

I STUDIED MESSIAH SCIENCE, AND I LIKED THOSE CLASSES

I WAS A BIG FAT MAN WHO WORE GLASSES

WE WATCHED NEWS, BUT ONLY WIN

AND STAND UP COMEDY, AND BECKER AND FOOTY AND HEAPS OF OTHER COOL THINGS

HE TAUGHT ME A LOT ABOUT BEING TREATED LIKE A PERSON

AND I COOKED DINNER, LIKE A PERSON

YA SEE I STUDIED MESSIAH SCIENCE, I LOVED THOSE CLASSES

I KNOW FROM THAT, I LEARNT HOW TO REALLY HELP THE POOR, AND UNDERSTAND

THEY NEED MORE C ARE, OH DEARY ME, WHAT AN ACTORS LIFE FOR ME

I WILL BRING THE NEW YEAR TIGER INTO TELEVISION

HE’S ON AAA YOUTUBE TV AND AARON CLAYTON

YEAH. AUSTRALIA LOOKS SET TO WIN CRICKET, TENNIS IS NOT AS PROMISING FOR THE AUSSIES

AND I DID A BUDDHIST RAIN DANCE, TO CALM THE SA BUSHFIRES

I AM RADICALLY AWESOME, DUDES

PARTY ZONE WITH DAVE AND SUE JANUARY 3 2015







DAVID’     HI DUDES AND WELCOME TO PARTY ZONE, AND ON TODAY’S SHOW, WE ARE AT

THE AAA NITE CLUB, IN GAREMA PLACE, AND TONIGHT WE HAVE ENTERTAINMENT FROM

PETE NOWNEY, WHO IS PERFORMING AT AAA NIGHT CLUB, THEN SUE LONGWAYS

GETS A FEW OF THE CLUB’S PATRONS TO PERFORM A FEW DRINKING SONGS OF THEIR PAST

AND HERE IS SUE WITH ERNIE PIGFEST

SUE’,  HI I AM SUE LONGWAYS, AND WE HAVE A GREAT DRINKING GAME TO SING, OK ERNIE TAKE IT AWAY

ERNIE’   21 BOTTLES OF BOURBON ON THE WALL, AND A FULL BOTTLE OF SCOTCH

YOU BETTER GET YA COTTON PICKING HANDS OFF IT, OR I’LL PUNCH YOU IN THE GOB, AND MAKE YA A SNOB

YOU SEE DRINKING GAMES ARE SO MUCH FUN

YEAH, THEY ARE FUN, OH YEAH, YA SEE WE HAVE CHIPS AND BURGERS AS WELL

AND A NICE CAN OF BEER, OR JUG OF BEER, WHATEVER YA RECKON, MATE

IT’S GETTING CLOSE TO  HALF PAST EIGHT

SUE’   THANKS, ERNIE, AND HOP IN THE HOT TUB AND NOW HERE IS **** LEARY

****’  I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT, I REALLY WANNA MOVE IT MOVE IT

I WANNA PARTY PARTY, AND I WANNA GET DRESSED UP AS A REAL SMARTIE

OH SLICK, YOUR A ****, YOU HAVE NO BRAINS, LIKE A REAL SPASTIC

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT, I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT

I REALLY WANNA SHAKE MY THANG, I REALLY WANNA SHAKE MY THANG

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT

GO QUICK, YOUR A ****, YOUR A BRAINLESS TWIT WHO IS SPASTIC

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT, MOVE IT MOVE IT

I WANNA HEAD TO EVERY CLUB IN THE CANBERRA CBD

OH YEAH THIS IS THE TIME WHERE WE REALLY PARTY

COME ON GUYS, GET WIGGLY WITH IT GET JIGGLY WITH IT

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT

SUE’  THANKS AND NOW OVER TO, YO  DAVID AND HIS INTERVIEW WITH PETE NOWNEY, HERE GOES

DAVID’   OK THANKS AND NOW PETE, YOU HAVE JUST FINISHED YA GIG

AND YOU GOT A FEW PEOPLE DANCING ON THE FLOOR

AND I HAVE THIS LITTLE GIFT FOR YOU, IT IS THIS, HAVE A PEAK INSIDE

PETE’   YEAH, THIS IS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED, A ***** DOLL

DAVID’   YEAH, BUT, IT’S NOT A ***** DOLL,

PETE’   NO, WHAT IS IT, SOME KIND OF TORTURE PRESENT FOR MY BIRTHDAY OR SUMMIT

DAVID’   NO, IT’S A ORDINARY DOLL, YOU ONCE TOLD ME, YOUR DAUGHTER LOVES DOLLS

SO I BROUGHT THIS IN TO SHOW YOU

PETE’  WELL, DAVID IT’S PRETTY RAD, I CAN GUARANTEE THAT MY DAUGHTER WILL LOVE IT

DAVID’   I NOTICED YOUR FIRST SONG, BEING THE LITTLE LOVE IN MY LIFE, IS THAT ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER

PETE’    NO, AND YES, NO IT’’S NOT MY DAUGHTER, BUT IT’S ABOUT THE MOTHER OF MY DAUGHTER, YA SEE

WE MET ON THE SYDNEY HARBOUR BRIDGE, I NEARLY FELL IT WAS BAD, DUDE

DAVID’’     DID YOU GET TO SEE THEM ON CHRISTMAS

PETE’    YEAH, AND I HAVE MY DAUGHTER WITH ME, TO SING O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL, YA SEE EVERY YEAR

WE CHOOSE A CAROL TO SING, AND THIS YEAR, O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL, AND I KNOW IT’S JANUARY 3 2015

BUT I WOULD LOVE TO SING WITH MY DAUGHTER STEF, OK SHE IS 10 THIS YEAR

DAVID’   OK TAKE IT AWAY PETE AND STEF

PETE AND STEF’

O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL

JOYFUL AND TRIUMPHANT

O COME YE O COME YE

TO BETHLEHEM

O COME AND BEHOLD HIM

BORN THE KING OF ANGELS

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

IN CHRIST THE LORD

SING CHIORS OF ANGELS

SING IN EXULTATION

SING ALL YE CITIZENS OF HEAVEN ABOVE

GLORY TO GOD, IN THE HIGHEST

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

O COME LET US ADORE HIM

IN CHRIST THE LORD

DAVID’  STEF, YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL VOICE, ARE YOU

PLANNING TO GO ON AUSTRALIA’S GOT TALENT OR THE VOICE THIS YEAR

STEFF’   WELL, I WOULD BUT DADDY AT P.RESENT WANTS TO BE THE ONLY SINGER

IN THE FAMILY

DAVID’   OK THAT IS ALL, AND NOW OVER TO SUE, WITH ANOTHER DRINKING SONG

SUE’   OK HERE IS ANOTHER DRINKING SONG, FROM KENNETH

KEN’   I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE COCKTAILS WITH GORDON

YEAH, IT’LL BE FUN TO HAVE COCKTAILS WITH HIM

YA SEE DRINKING COCKTAILS WITH GORDON

IS WAY WAY BETTER THAN DRINKING WITH KIM

CAUSE KIM IS A BIT OF A *****, AND CRAZY TO BOOT

I  LOVE TO HAVE COCKTAILS WITH GORDON, AND SPEND ALL HIS LOOT

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH YOU, SUE

YEAH, I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE MANY BEERS WITH YOU

YA SEE SUE LONGWAYS, I REALLY ADMORED YA FROM A DISTANCE

AND WHEN YOU DRINK BEER AFTER YOUR 3RD OR 4TH

YA WILL LET OUT A MIGHTY BIG SPEW

IT WILL LOOK DISCUSTING, OH MAN, IT WILL OK

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH YOU SUE

CAUSE YOUR A TRUE DUDE

SUE’   THANKS KEN SEE YA NEXT WEEK, NOW HERE’S DAVID

DAVID’   OK, THANKS TO ALL OF OUR SONGSTARS AND PETE AND STEFF

AND THE OTHERS, SO SEE YA NEXT WEEK ON PARTY ZONE JANUARY 3

Have you ever stood,
craning your neck to look up into the canopy
of the ancient kauri, Tane Mahuta,
while peace and birdsong permeate your soul?

Have you ever felt
the crusty spray and the satanic whiff
as the Pohutu geyser shoots aloft
while a dozen languages bubble through te reo?

Have you ever shivered
in the receding darkness,
standing in the china-white sand as you waited
for the first sunrise over Makorori Beach?

Have you ever sat
on the summit of Mt Taranaki
and eaten a well-deserved sandwich
while cows grazed far below on the lush, volcanic-rich pasture?

Have you ever experienced
that mixture of fear and awe
as an orca’s dorsal breached beside your too-fragile kayak
in the shining waters of the Abel Tasman?

Have you ever paused
atop a ski run on Coronet Peak
and reflected on the reflections
of sunlight dancing on snow and water?

Have you ever felt sorry
for tourism chiefs and advertising creatives
trapped in offices in the Auckland CBD
dreaming up “100% Pure” and “Clean and Green”?

The full spectrum effect of the flower
it's beautiful gift,  an opportunity. 
The tiny, feisty little flower
points me toward peace
and happiness that I have inside.
She shows me a gentle,
perceptual shift away from harm.
She gently stops the merry-go- round.
Lets my feet touch the here and now.
Makes sweet time stands still
until I want to jump back
on that merry-go-round.

spanish

I’m sitting in the 8am sun by the end the driveway,
trying to get a handle on the day.
folding chair
house basket
coffee.
such is my custom
and my delight.
driveways are a luxury this part of town.
my back is to the brick
sidewalk to my right
sunshine upon my face and forehead
eyes closed.
a rundown hispanic fellow
about my age
appears
from nowhere
out of my blind,
asking for a lighter.
my eyes open and all is light.
he recognized my lighter sheath
heavy *** metal with the bottle opener at the bottom
told me that he had had the same one;
picked it up from some no name bodega
out of where he originated in
spanish harlem.
he began telling me his life story, you see.
he never heard the word
‘****’ until he moved to
Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.
told me he was the black sheep
of the little family he had left,
and that he hadn’t seen them in years.
he stood before me on the sidewalk
in the morning sunlight.
I asked him for a cigarette.
he was raised tangled in
a cultural straight jacket;
one tailored to his demographic.
an urban person of color.
his Divine Masculine
red lined and impoverished.
hand me down outfit
tj max rap music video.
I told him I identified as a stray dog,
sitting by the end of the driveway
8am sun.
he told me he was just doing the best he could.
best he can
with what he got.
our hearts were bleeding there together
pooling up on the driveway
8am sunshine
sky, blueish white.
I told him where I worked,
gave him the address
told him
come get some free samples of CBD.

everyday I forget that
it isn’t my job
to
save anyone.
he’s walking away with a limp up west orange.
i close my eyes.
I hope he doesn’t need any CBD.

©️  Jordan Gee

matrimoni tradizionali sono un fantastico modo per dare il via alla settimana .non credi ?Soprattutto un matrimonio tradizionale bella come questa vicenda Perth catturato da DeRay \u0026Simcoe .Perché questo è un matrimonio che è tutto prendere il fiato con i fiori splendidi e uno stile



di Rebecca Grazia .una cerimonia mozzafiato e attimo dopo attimo di tutti i tappi FELICI .Vedi tutto qui .
ColorsSeasonsSpringSettingsChurchEvent VenueStylesTraditional Elegance

Dal DeRay \u0026Simcoe .What a wonderful affare !Il tipo di giornata neanche un po 'di pioggia potrebbe smorzare .

Tina pianificato la sua sorprendente matrimonio di Shannon con una splendida pesca morbida e fuori schema di colore bianco .Si guardò raggiante nel suo vestiti da sposa abito abiti da sposa corti Pallas con bellissimi fiori di Rebecca Grazia .

Hanno tenuto una cerimonia tradizionale cattolica.fra cui una ***** piena in una delle chiese più belle di Perth .San Giuseppe .Abbiamo fatto le foto al Palazzo del Parlamento fino a quando il tempo era vestiti da sposa freddo e bagnato.quindi abbiamo cercato un po ' di calore in un bar contemporaneo - George .

Dopo alcuni cocktail la festa nuziale erano felici di sfidare il tempo .camminando per le strade piovose di St Georges Terrace in Perth CBD conseguente foto romantiche con un'atmosfera vecchio Hollywood .

La loro accoglienza è stata assolutamente incredibile.tenuto alto le cime degli alberi con vista sulle luci della città brillano .L'arredamento classico bianco è stato accompagnato da centinaia di candele .

Tina e Shannon erano così delizioso .prima .durante e dopo il matrimonio .siamo stati così fortunati da parte di questa magica giornata .

Fotografia : DeRay e Simcoe | Floral Design : Rebecca Grazia | Abito da sposa: Pallas Couture | Cake: Elegance Edible | Cerimonia Luogo : San Giuseppe | Banco Luogo : Centro di Accoglienza Stato Perth | Scarpe : Badgley Mischka | Anelli : Ross Ezechiele |capelli : Shane Dias | Auto : Limousine Impressionante | Sedia Covers : Touched By Angels | Trucco : Lauren legno | Banco Styling : Rebecca Grazia | Video : Inception VideoBadgley Mischka è un membro del nostro Look Book .Per ulteriori informazioni su come vengono scelti i membri .fare clic qui

I’m dying for a lover
and a good night’s sleep
but I’ll settle for a song
and some CBD

in the years between 1100 and 1167 there were two doctors who lived in peking in china

who were looking after the townsfolk, they didn’t have the technology they have today, just coca cola

and methane and yetta, which is now currently known as ICE and they had mould, which helped in

the process of deep cuts and ebrasions, one doctor was harry darker and with him was his wife franceska

darker, and they changed the feel of china, saving people’s lives, you see back then, anger was the most

desirable thing, which meant, if you got angry, you have to wait even longer, harry darker was the ICE king

and loved to experiment with it to one day end the world of suffering, and also harry gave methane to kids

when they had chest colds, but methane wasn’t the best thing for it, but there was nothing else, so they

had to make do with methane, franceska specialised aliens, you see let me explain that further, you see

people are aliens and every day we have to understand that aliens are dead earthlings and what people heal’

themselves up there with, should heal well, down here on earth, you see franceska used to go around on foot with methane

and ICE in her backpack ready to heal the wounded chinese travellers who are going about their journeys, and

franceska was so good at her job, she was asked to be the doctor aboard the boat to england to help make people better,

unfortunately harry wasn’t allowed to leave china because he didn’t have a 1100s passport, which was a medicine license

you see harry just knew what he was doing, and nobody knew what he was doing, but then he met franceska, who was a

licensed doctor, but of all the things franceska did to help harry, giving him a license wasn’t at the top of her list, and besides

which franceska knew that there wasn’t a hope in hell for the authorities to find out the truth, so they just turned the other cheek

and then franceska boarded the boat and was ready for a voyage of a lifetime to visit London in england, on the way there, 13 paople

saw franeska, complaining about back aches, which franceska gave them some ICE, and a few people worried that their minds

were starting to go crazy and franceska gave them methane, which today wouldn’t be trusted, but franceska, also helped a few of

the ships children, by giving them ICE, to calm them down, and then, franceska went down to the kitchen to have her lunch getting

lots of good replies as she passes and days and days went by, as franceska was seeing patients and then they entered the united kingdom

where they dropped off the chinese immigrants and picked up the british immigrants going to china, and franceska sat down at the british port

hoping that, she can finish this journey as she missed harry, and on the way back to china, some of the british went to franceska for medical help

but the british were too proud to let her help them, because for the simple reason, they didn’t believe in this kind of medicine despite it is this medicine

or death and then henry the 5th came in to visit franceska complaining about stomach cramps, and franceska gave him methane and mould from cheese

to rub on the stomach 3 times a day, and this might sound crazy, but this plan was smart enough to work and henry the 5th did the wrong thing, you see he

overdosed on methane and ate the mould, which wasn’t a great idea and franceska said to henry that wasn’t your smartest decision, wasn’t it and henry said

i am sorry, i just have got a decease of when i have something in my room, i will eat it, and franceska said, ok i will give you some ICE, but you mustn’t overdose

because this drug can be fatal and this made henry scared to overdose and took the ICE and went to his room and this time he didn’t overdose on it, but

the methane was beginning to make him feel sick, after him overdosing on it, and then david greatless came in to see franceska complaining about really bad

stomach cramps, maybe from the poison from the fish they had at dinner and Franceska gave him ICE, to settle his stomach down and after 2 days of taking

the ICE his stomach stopped aching and when they arrived back in china, franceska went to harry and they went about their normal practice, and people were injured

left right and centre and franceska in about 4 weeks, was asked to be on the boat to the USA and, this was a very bad journey as franceska had her hands full

with a flu epidemic and everyone got the flu, especially the ship’s crew, and then the boat stopped because nobody was fit enough to steer it, with the only well

person being franceska, who didn’t know how to steer a boat, but she did try and the boat ran out of gas and franceska fell off the boat into the ocean and despite

her losing the methane and ICE overboard, franceska swam with all her might, to hopefully find land and then after she almost gave up hope, she arrived on

this island which is now known as Australia, on the port of adelaide, and despite franceska being a helper of all, she arrived at port adelaide really cold and hungry

and had no memory of why she was in the ocean, franceska went under the name of terri halter and lived in a rundown farm near where the adelaide cbd is now

and while she was there she drew these lovely pictures which made the townsfolk very happy and in about 3 more weeks franceska died and if you are worried about the boat

someone noticed them and they were saved, but that was franceska’s last ship as a doctor, and that ship became one of her art works, in her next life, franceska was betty robson

who lived in a place which is currently california, and she loved that family

i am franceska butler and i looked over harry in china, for 5 years before harry sadly passed away

as i said, i am franceska

<p><p> matrimoni tradizionali sono un fantastico modo per dare il via alla settimana .non credi ?Soprattutto un matrimonio tradizionale bella come questa vicenda Perth catturato da DeRay \u0026Simcoe .Perché questo è un matrimonio che è tutto prendere il fiato con i fiori splendidi e uno stile  <p><a href="http://www.belloabito.com/goods.php?id=686" target="blank"><img width="240" height="320" src="http://188.138.88.219/imagesld/td//t35/productthumb/1/4466435353535395665.jpg"></a></p>  di Rebecca Grazia .una cerimonia mozzafiato e attimo dopo attimo di tutti i tappi FELICI .Vedi tutto qui .<p>ColorsSeasonsSpringSettingsChurchEvent VenueStylesTraditional Elegance <p> Dal DeRay \u0026Simcoe .What a wonderful affare !Il tipo di giornata neanche un po 'di pioggia potrebbe smorzare .<p> Tina pianificato la sua sorprendente matrimonio di Shannon con una splendida pesca morbida e fuori schema di colore bianco .Si guardò raggiante nel suo <b>vestiti da sposa</b>  abito  <a href="http://www.belloabito.com/abiti-da-sposa-corti-c-49"><b>abiti da sposa corti</b></a>  Pallas con bellissimi fiori di Rebecca Grazia .<p> Hanno tenuto una cerimonia tradizionale cattolica.fra cui una ***** piena in una delle chiese più belle di Perth .San Giuseppe .Abbiamo fatto le foto al Palazzo del Parlamento fino a quando il tempo era  <a href="http://www.belloabito.com/abiti-da-sposa-c-1"><b>vestiti da sposa</b></a>  freddo e bagnato.quindi abbiamo cercato un po ' di calore in un bar contemporaneo - George .<p> Dopo alcuni cocktail la festa nuziale erano felici di sfidare il tempo .camminando per le strade piovose di St Georges Terrace in Perth CBD conseguente foto romantiche con un'atmosfera vecchio Hollywood .<p> La loro accoglienza è stata assolutamente incredibile.tenuto alto le cime degli alberi con vista sulle luci della città brillano .L'arredamento classico bianco è stato accompagnato da centinaia di candele .<p> Tina e Shannon erano così delizioso .prima .durante e dopo il matrimonio .siamo stati così fortunati da parte di questa magica giornata .<p> Fotografia : DeRay e Simcoe | Floral Design : Rebecca Grazia | Abito da sposa: Pallas Couture | Cake: Elegance Edible | Cerimonia Luogo : San Giuseppe | Banco Luogo : Centro di Accoglienza Stato Perth | Scarpe : Badgley Mischka | Anelli : Ross Ezechiele |capelli : Shane Dias | Auto : Limousine Impressionante | Sedia Covers : Touched By Angels | Trucco : Lauren legno | Banco Styling : Rebecca Grazia | Video : Inception VideoBadgley Mischka è un membro del nostro Look Book .Per ulteriori informazioni su come vengono scelti i membri .fare clic qui</p>

Where the hell is humanity
All I see is insanity
Focusing on wars and vanity
Speaking up gets people mad at me
Nothing on this planet is flattering
People starving and freezing; teeth are chattering
Police taking blankets from the homeless
Even in the places where snow is
People are so violent and shameless
Is there even a way to tame this
Or do our efforts further inflame this
It's time to collectively claim this
Look at all the problems that we make
By blindly following the side we take


Politics and money are one in the same
Why must we think life is all about fame
We have so much more that we can do
Like question why the sky isn't blue
What are those lines that expand all day long  
Is questioning their safety so ******* wrong

Everything on this planet is basically toxic
And people wonder why we're all so sick
Plastic, chemicals, metals, and poisonous water
Feeding processed foods to your son and your daughter
When the aquifers are empty, what will you think
You're going to rely on toxic water and oil to drink?

I swear to God you need to look around
In the sky, at the world, and what's underground

Did you know that bees are life and so is clean food
If the elite continues to rule, we're all ******* *******
False flags, terrorism, furthering their plan
For a one world government, that rules all the land
We're already slaves, but it will get so much worse
If we continue to forget that we all come first
Nobody should get left behind or feel like they're stuck
Let's show each other love and actually give a ****

Selfishness and narcissism run rampant in our world
Walking around like we own the place, our lips slightly furled
Looking into each other's eyes but there's not much there
I see shallow complacency, that infamous fluoride stare

The world is going down, unless we turn it around
Look at Syria, Palestine, and all areas that surround
Fear, violence, and terrorism is life
No husband is safe, no child, no wife
They're eating the grass
And rotten food from the trash
Starving and freezing throughout the winter
They can't even leave their towns, they're stuck in the center
They've been targeted by rulers of this sick twisted place
The banksters are evil they don’t belong in our space  


How can they be so far removed from the rest of the planet
If anything benefits us they make sure to ban it
LSD, mushrooms, cannabis, and DMT Anything good for cancer: B17 and CBD
Essential oils are what's next on their list
I swear if they take my lavender I'll be so ******* ******


Alternative energy is more than suppressed
The need for clean energy should be more vocally addressed
But when it is, someone intervenes and hides great inventions
Laws and patents are created to stop our intentions
For a clean world and a safe place
The elite couldn't care less about the lives that they waste
They build on the dark side of the moon or possibly Mars
They're preparing themselves a new world, while they **** up ours

I only feel solace when I look into space....
Why must it be so hard to save the human race?

I’m fine
is what you start to say
when you’re not, but
you’re sick of not
fine
And you
don’t want to be
             a
               downer
And you’re

sick

of having
to accept
advice
like
you just haven’t
thought
      to bother to try everything
yet.
       to
be
       fine.

And you’re sick

of explaining
every excruciating
detail
of your history
     and meds
     and procedures
     and life method

like you’re defending your
right
to make your own decisions

like you’re defending

that it’s not just

      ‘YOUR FAULT’

that you’re sick, it

    must be
       YOUR FAULT

Hey —

Have you tried:   ?

you must not have thought of that
yet.

I’m fine
  is because you need me to be
Because I am
       TOO SICK
ALL THE TIME

to deal with
     your hurt feelings

when you can’t

fix

me.

I’m fine <u>for you</u>

So I don’t hurt your feelings by
my feelings getting hurt when
I can’t just me honest that

   I.      AM.   NOT.   FINE.

without that being

        a crisis

for you.

Without you needing to come up
with a solution right then and
there to make me all better like

I don’t know how to
                                                                                         eat veggies
                                                                                               exercise
                                                                                [not **** myself]
                                                                                              try CBD
                                                                                             meditate
                                                                                 take time to cry
                                                                                                get rest
                                                                                  drink more tea
                                                                                [not **** myself]
                                                                                                 stretch
                                                                                 --hey, have you
                                                                                         tried CBD?
                                                                                it works for me.

And I –
    don’t want to be rude.
And I –
    hey, I’m here for
            you

So instead of being who I am
and owning my try, but

getting snippy when you’ve
beat me with your
good intentions
    and then
feeling guilty and attacked
and needing to take MORE time
to cry –
            I –
                      I’m fine.

The bills you get from an ATM located in a Headshop called the Refinery in the Valley are not going to be the same that you cash out of your local Wells Fargo.
They've been used before.
You can almost imagine the staff feeding the all-cash green you give them back into the machine (once a day when things are slow).
These are just facts.
When you say you don't want a 3:1 you want a 3:0... They show you a 3:1 anyways.

You know, the marketing system has really changed.
I get a discount for bringing in two newcomers.
My coworker keeps saying we are buying 'drugs'.
I tell her 'it's not "drugs";
even before the legislation passed, all you needed to say is that you had cancer and they would drive away ashamed for asking'.

I tell the staff I want something that will get me through the day,
nothing too crazy and I don't want to fall asleep.
I end up with a 3:1 CBD hybrid again.
I pay my 101.00 for the hybrid and a bit of gummy 50/50 Sativa and indica hybrid 'for the road'.
She giggles.
I remind her we have a whole department dedicated to this **** now,
she should act more professional as she selects her joints.
My other coworker gets a salve because his joints have their own problems.

Just another day with the work-family.

Her Story

She was just a Village girl,
Forever counting the countless stars
in the hopes that her golden dream would shine
just as brght

But all my reality showed her
was a
Dull
Damp
And Diminishing hope
for any change,

See, She was just a Village girl,
Dreaming loud and proud of her
Golden Husband

But all reality showed her
was
Sipho next door
sipping on some smooth
Milk

so, She ran.
Passing surprised, suppressed
faces
until She reached the city of GOLD.

And for a change reality showed her something
GOLDEN.

She assumed too soon,
see, her  Golden tiled floors
were dark  tarred roads

Her Golden roof
was a CBD Bridge

Her Golden painted walls
were graffiti  painted pillars

Her golden husband
Who was more dust than gold,

Picked her from the gravel,
Told her that she radiated beauty
that her chocolate skin  put him in a constant chocolate high,

But soon that was all gone,
See, she was changing

Her skin went from purple to black even blue too
Her body di'composed
Each muscle swelling, aching, bruising
Her
golden husband
who was more dust than gold
turned into  a brutal
being. Beating...Beating...her.


So she ran.
passing surprised suppressed faces until she returned  home.

9 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

Find me somewhere between old and cliché Tumblr poems and filtered Instagram pictures.
It was just yesterday when we were worlds apart when your ex-boyfriend broke your loving heart.
You eventually began smoking again and drank wine and ***** like there was a message in the bottle.
But I can’t judge you for all the things that you did because I was right there by your side comforting you.
I took an Uber from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to find peace of mind and get some closure from you.
All this time I have been hoarding the memories we made like there is a black hole I’m trying to fill.
I wonder if I’ll ever be good enough in the eyes of the people who never appreciated my love.
Within your circle of friends someone knew that you were falling in love with someone new.
But you kept me waiting all this time just so you could let me down like gravity.
I should have realised this a long time ago that pain hurts more when you choose to ignore it.
If only it was so easy to let you go then I would’ve done that a long time ago.
I wanted you to fill my emptiness with requited love but I realised that you were a void too.

Dear diary,
I use to feel trap like a prisoner within these walls.
Now… I just see the real problem
It’s me!
I got trust issues And I’m way to possessive.
Maybe I just need sleep but the xo  won’t let him.
I smell smoke
There is something on fire
Or is it just me again slowly burning thoughts until the feelings expire.

…sometimes I wonder can we get much higher ?

AKELDAMA (THE FIELD OF BLOOD)
If I were Shakespeare
I would say: what hath happened to you mother earth?
Fallen creation! What hast thou done?
Abel’s blood laments from the ground
Innocent streams of blood flow in the swamps
Calling in the deepest seas
Yet creation joys at its screams and groans
Blood and bones spread like a red carpet
Bodies hung like clothes on a washing line
Akeldama! Akeldama! The earth has become!

Brothers butchering each other over stolen money
Babies murdered in the name of abortion
Albinos sacrificed in the quest for wealth and good luck
Oceans are dump sites for human carcases
Pastors servicing their ministries with innocent souls
Alters covered with ***** and blood
Bribery has become the order of the day
Akeldama! Akeldama! The world has become!

Authored outside the garden of Eden
Anger and heartlessness have become a burden
The love for money has made hearts to harden
With personal pockets to fatten
Forgiveness and good virtues are forgotten
Akeldama! Akeldama! The earth has become!

Shattered into pieces my heart bleeds
My soul weeps tears of blood
Tears that are torn and roasted before they reach the ground
Causing my troubled heart hasten to pound
Just like a floating trophy blood shed circulates around
My voice is bubbling within me
I am like an ant under an elephant’s hove
Akeldama! Akeldama! The earth has become!

Judases creeping in the shadows
Like giant monsters
Innocent hearts dripping and drizzling with blood
The guilty jubilantly roaming the streets

The church is silent
A sleeping lion!
A toothless bull dog
Blood stained tithes and offerings
Flesh fuelled businesses crowding the CBD
Deceit and betrayal is a game of hearts
Dead consciences that cannot be resuscitated
Children are fatherless and mothers are childless
The rich are heartless
The heirs are senseless
Crying is useless
They deem Christianity meaningless
Talking about Ubuntu is a sign of weakness
Leaders are foreign to selflessness
Oh Akeldama! Akeldama! The earth has become!

To him who hold the seven stars in his right hand
Who is the first born of all creation?
Turn not a blind eye on our afflictions
For how long will we sing the sour song of Akeldama
A song written by the greedy and blood thirsty
A rhythmless song sung when strings are broken and voices are full of anger
Akeldama! Akeldama! The earth mourns!
Oh Akeldama!

You see I am a drunken *****


You see I am a drunken *****
I get drunk every day
And all my friends treated my house
Like a night club anyway
You see we'll drink one and then another and drink more and more oh yeah, you see when I get drunk
I have a lot of fun, teasing my folks to make them understand I wanna be cool
You see I am a drunken *****, I get drunk every day, and I really really party, yeah,man I had such fun
And now I go to the local mall and offload all my problems, they actually say to me, tell someone who fucken cares, then after I leave there, I head straight for the CBD, and wait for the pub to open, so I can start off getting drunk, you see mate, I was having fun teasing my dad, and I never killed him no, cause I just having fun, and he tried to take it out of me, you see I am a drunken *****, I get drunk every day, and I have so many beers, yeah I enjoy it so very much, yeah, boy am I so cool
Then the next weekend I went to the Raiders match and I saw the Raiders win and that made me happy, yeah
And after the game, I went to the pub and partied with all the guys and we sang old drinking songs, man we were having so much fun, and I drank beer after beer and another beer to follow, yeah I feel so cool, and all my friends think I am a loser, but that doesn't bother me, because I am a drunken *****, and I get drunk every day, I sink one down my gullet and after that, I through another down, I feel so cool, I am a drunken *****
And beer is the medicine oh yeah


Sent from my iPhone

I want to be on the sunrise high at the skyline
i want to be comfortable alone in my time
sky time why time
lifeline
im floating roaming and zoning
fully rowing
my boat down the stream
cbd thc and clonazepam
thoughts quietly racing im silenty pacing
tasteful smoke freestyle on a techniclour kudasai
dont ask my why dont ask me to try
dont ask me' to walk when i can fly
floaty dont want to overdo it or overdosy
just wanna be cosy
we're all void fillers
void killers
lonely poetry
hidden masks on my face i dont divulge or they'll know its me
analyse the dirt and you will find the gems in these lines
the gems i had to go through alot to find
i had to mine
chip away at my old self
and yeah i am not back to my old health
and i got me some more wealth
bandaid on my poor self
money isn't happiness word to marley



nostalgia for things ive never had
it makes me sad
maybe some company by the skyline,
we can be poor we dont need wealth
lets be happy
thats a dream
maybe it doesnt exist
ill give it a hit
or maybe a miss
or maybe a kiss
nostalgia
not stall gear
stalling on the lonely road im on
im in a different space
maybe its trauma maybe its more ah
maybe its coz im a may baby and im way crazy
but i dont believe in the star sign *******
i know theres cosmic energies
i know theres an upper entity
thank you god


have you ever felt things you can describe
cant believe and cant deny
cant trust and cant part with eith-
er

I can feel the sun on my face
Take CBD pills
Hit a little THC

I can post and get instant gratification
I can get my limbs lean and tan
Drink coffee
Feel the wind lightly caressing me.

I've never encountered so many men
That intentionally did not let themselves
Fixate on me
And mine.

I reach for you only to be met with silence
And I imagine when you reach towards me
There is a ringing of mermaid scales
And it reminds me of when you were in the cave
With another
And never thought to just lend an ear
And tell me so
While still making me feel seen
Loved even.

There is a thirst that goes unheard, unspoken
Sometimes I think we'll never really get along.

Though our eyes and our hearts yearn
Though I'm a drug to your lungs
And you to my mind.

I've resigned myself to being the girl
The girl that dreamt of being your dream
But you couldn't see
You couldn't see
And so now when you feel vocal
We acknowledge
The emptiness that was left behind.

We haven't seen each other in such a
Long time
I know I asked once if you ever cried
And just like everything with you
I'll never really know.

I mean my good will with only good will
Though I know you will never write to me
Flicking your eyes up in that blonde pale way you do
You remind me of the young romantic tragedies
When I was the princess in the cup
In the Alabama sun
I think maybe you liked me because I reminded you of you.

We paint in whistles that we are so different
I fall asleep sometimes remembering the harm you caused
And the way I loved you even still.

You do have a special spot
And I know I you
I think maybe the synergy between us can still exist in peace
And its wild to believe its almost been two years
Since we first met
And I acted like this is more important than it is
And I hope I'm just wrong about that feeling
I hope you think on me more than you'd like to admit

And I hope that someday we can love and respect each other
The way we always secretly have
Even though it means
We are sea and land away.

I may be crazy and I like the high from pain meds and CBD give me.
I am not addicted to drugs. I just enjoy the few fours of the giddiness I get. It's just occasionally when I have a migraine from loud noises and when my anxiety acts up I will take a couple of Advil.
I only put CBD lip balm on my lips when I need a quick pick me up.
Those don't interfere with my mental meds.
I know how to take care of myself. I do my research. I know what I am doing.

The summertime had come with
the most indecent proposal I had
ever been offered,
when it killed all the fish
in our little tank.

It came with long days of heat
and short nights not much colder.

There were days off
but no vacations.

There would be a fist fight
or two in the local towns libraries
instead of quietness.

I had not waited very long before
hammers struck pavement
and cars kissed each other at full speeds
across suburban roads.

Everyone seemed to work alongside
that one guy who fed his ego
with salted peanuts that were
more salt than nut.

Yes, all of these things, and then some!

And to hell with all the dogs
and their days, they’ve had them.
I wanted mine for once.

The summertime snuck its’
robust fingers into my mouth
and coated my tongue with CBD oil
as all the girls began to laugh at me,

dumping golden dead fish
into my toilet bowl and flushing
them away.