I believe God put inside us
The desire for connection

And in a few people he removed that possibility
So they must endure suffering

How long can one endure?
We can only wait patiently until we die

God please help me be connected to what's good for me.
God fill this void inside me. And if it cannot be filled, then remove these human desires from me and let me be an alien.

The world is so ****** up that
I'd rather stay in my corner.

As lonely as it is, nobody can hurt me.
I am hurting but I AM SAFE.

Maybe that makes me a coward,
Or maybe it makes me a hero.

Those who protected their good hearts
They do it with a noble intention.

In a world full of hurt people who hurt others

What a rare thing a kind heart is

She's sort of beautiful
I see her from afar
And as I get closer
I see she isn't all that beautiful

And that the beauty I saw
Was my minds longing to appreciate
Another human being

Perhaps the way I've looked at her, is the way I wish someone would look at me.

A funny thing the mind is, often times he's not your friend

How the mind creates stories
When there are none.

The mind becomes perverted
By it's trauma and loneliness
You start to wonder who you were
And who you are is more unclear

Life thrusts me into a path,
Of violent solitude.
Solitude clothed as loneliness,
A friend dressed like an enemy.
A sheep dressed like a wolf.

I am searching for myself.
Who was I before I drowned the pain
With intoxication and in absolute vain

The thoughts are so loud
But there are no decibels.

They deafen me
Yet you cannot hear them.

Criticism in its tone
Trauma in its vocabulary.

I've relapsed

Most men are starved of affection
Most men are barred from attention
To a man this is normal
But to a woman it needs a mention
Because they don't understand
This terrible loneliness at hand
That only comes with being a man
An average man.