It's night and I am to wonder
What is this sinister madness?
shocking me like thunder
an unexplainable sadness!
Sadness from sheering silence
Erasing all hope and guidance.

I wonder. But find no reasons
Why this sadness is needed
and like spiritual dry seasons
Wither the joy I once seeded
Drained and bleak, but why?
Sadness and silence, no reply.

Time passes days and weeks
I am still with no explanation
And when the sun finally peaks
I feel this relieved sensation
But why did the sadness go?
why did it come? *I don't know.

Water colour marks
On pearly skin
And that internal scream
Stuck in the protruding veins
Of necks in distress
And hands rendered useless
Towels of dirt dropped at dirtied knees
Dry as the desert in his eyes
Yet still dripping insincerity
Which she swipes across her
Barcode forearms
Where rings of price tags
Are branded on bodies unwillingly
And features are obscured
In a fluster of pity
For a being worthy of more
Than just shrieks and beatings

I'm the burden
of your day.
I'm the thought,
which takes your smile away.
I am just
a problem.

I'm a selfdestructive mess
The only person
who I honestly hate
is myself

I want to crack the mirror
when I see
this green-eyed girl,
who looks back at me

I'm not her,
She ain't me
This is a fact on which
we both agree

'Cause I'm not sure on
who I am
I only know
That I'm no man

The only thing,
which I know about myself
Is what kind of music
that can make me
Smile
when I want to cry
and live
when I want to die

It cheers me up
when I feel down
It lends me a hand
when I hit the ground
But sometimes not even music
is enough
to cheer this selfdestructive mess
up

Don't worry
I'm not cutting myself
Instead I write on my body
with a pen
Lyrics from the song
which my phone play
heh, today it was the text from
Castaway by Green Day.

I have sailed the seven seas
on a sturdy ship with sturdy sails
And  felt the ocean breeze
while guided by the whales.

I have fought a giant snake
A killer shark, a one eyed squid
and a monster from a lake
when I was just a little kid

By  my side was  my crew:
An otter, a dinosaur, a  fisher bear.
Sailing across the ocean blue
together  with  joy and care.

But at the end of the day
I would visit my last location
I would put my toys away.
harboring my imagination.

I heard Peter Piper picked a pricey pepper, the same day I heard he got chased down by a hungry mob of less than lovely lepers, now Peter Piper and his picked pepper are prodded by hot pokers while a village of now happy, hairless, horrifyingly lipless lepers salivate in anticipation of poor Peter Piper's soon to be pickled body.

The Masses chant and cheer to sounds of Peter's screams that seem to season his sizzling skin as children scrape scolding scraps peeling from his searing kneecaps.

Veins build up pressure, veins then rupture, veins open and spray onto the crowd and moisturize all the rough textures, soaked faces gain weight and fall off exposing maggots that festered, excited crowds jump and cheer as their knees buckle and bodies fracture.

The elder ***** picks a peck of pickled Peter Piper, now the elder ***** enjoys a pepper with a peck of old Peter Piper.

Schizophrenia is a private cell
Reserved for just one in the depths of Hell,
A place without an exact location,
A damnation found in desperation

For an escape from feeling trapped inside
The spot you sought refuge and tried to hide
From vicious voices, all disembodied.
Solitude's precious, but also oddly

Does enough to make you feel too alone.
Perhaps you'll miss some voice's monotone
Droning that lectured, but still seemed to care,
Though some of those voices wrought your despair.

You mustn't forget some voices are real,
And yet, those can often cause your ordeals.