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 May 2018 SafetyWithinWords
Nyx
I'm not good with emotions
Things like love or like
I'm incapable of handling situations
Boys and Girls alike

I question is something wrong with me?
Am I sick, incapable of love
Or am I just afraid of commitment
Maybe I just need a shove

The heat of the moment lights a spark
A wonderful night, of pure unadulterated fun
Then the next day and week
My heart begins to freak

I
Avoid him
Freak out
I'll have
Panic attacks
Breakdowns
Be Afraid
Feel fear
Want to Disappear
Break down in tears


I hurt them
Break them
Destroy their hearts and souls
I pretend that I'm the weak one
But i'm really in control

Well aside the panic and fear
I try to make things clear
Please forget about me
I'm not someone that can be held dear

Why do I feel this way?
So afraid of the world
Fearful of everything
Scared of everyone

Am I just broke?
Corrupted inside
Maybe somewhere along the way
My heart seemed to die

I dont understand
Because I'm usually calm and composed
Yet as soon as somebody likes me
That goes out the window

What is this?
I cant comprehend
Can I find somewhere out there
That i can come to love more than a friend

Can somebody please tell me
Shout out a cry
Tell me please
Can somebody explain why
idk
 May 2018 SafetyWithinWords
Dev
My heart bleeds colours
but not the way you'd think
it drips

R
       A
                I
                        N
                    ­             B
                                       O
                                              W
               ­                                        S

through my veins
a
CACOPHANY
a
SYMPHONY
a
disdainful loss of my dignity.






Yes, my heart bleeds colours
I can no longer wear it on my sleeve
for all to see
the dazzling display that leaks



For such a heart as mine,
that appears so vividly black
I find it quite amusing,
for there certainly is a lack of

FEELING
and
EMOTION
coursing through my veins

and yet when it bleeds
THE COLOURS FLOW AGAIN

I've blue and yellow, mix to make green
Pink and purple
make the circle,
a full rainbow it would seem

Oh my heart bleeds colours
I am now no longer clean
for all my colours have started
seeping out my seams.
I'm trying new things,
I hope this isnt too awful ':)
there really is no structure or pattern, really using the 'free' in 'free form poetry'
My heart bleeds colours, and I use them to feed my creativity.
 May 2018 SafetyWithinWords
Nyx
Hey
 May 2018 SafetyWithinWords
Nyx
Hey

Hey
Would you listen?
If I said the words
You don't want to hear
The words I have locked into my soul
The words that would make you feel nothing at all

Hey
Would you smile?
Smile for me, tell me I know
If I told you that I loved you dear
loved you more then you would dare
That I love you more then I can bare

Hey
Would you hold me close?
Whisper sweet nothings into my ear
As time would slow
If I confessed to you these feelings
That you thought had no further meaning


Hey
Would you run away?
Not want to deal with this problem
Making your big getaway
Making your great escape
Leaving me behind with my heart agape


Hey
Would you feel conflicted
That the closest person to you
Decided that they didn't want to lose you
The one you treat better then any girlfriend
Would you make this confession the result of our bitter end

Hey
Time has torn us apart
Now You may never know
That you will forever remain in my heart
Like the spring after the winter snow

Hey
Its the idiots birthday today
And we called last night
I keep thinking I'm over him
But it all keeps coming back
Time of death:
3:44.
When you told me you don't love me anymore.
Place of death:
The park where we met,
on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
I remember the dreaded words which escaped your lips,
the heat in your words,
the look on your face,
as I took a metaphorical bullet to the chest;
it hurt like Hell.
Cause of death:
You.
When you stabbed me in the heart for the first
and last time.
A fatal blow.
But in the coroner's office,
all the report will ever show is:
time of death:
3:44.
Cause of death:
Trauma to the chest.
When your heart gets broken by someone, it feels like you've been struck in the chest. The air feels like it's been knocked right out your lungs and you feel as though you can't breathe. You feel a mixture of emotions all blurred into one mess. You play the final exchange in your head over and over again, and each time it gets harder and harder. Heartbreak. It feels like you've been stabbed in the back and shot in the chest all at once.
 May 2018 SafetyWithinWords
Nyx
In the heat of the moment
We do things LOUD
We do things BOLD
We do things C R A Z Y

In the heat of the moment
You forget who you are
You forget who you love
You forget about the world

In the heat of the moment
You don't stop to Think
You don't stop to wonder
You don't stop to worry

In the heat of the moment
When two hearts beat as one
It is in that final moment
When you know the devil has WON
#
We do stupid things in the heat of the moment
 May 2018 SafetyWithinWords
Nyx

I gave you the power to destroy me
To make me tremble at your feet
I'll allow you to rip out my heart
And watch it as it bleeds

I'll let you use me
Time and time again
To make you feel a little better
So you can make it to the end

You can throw me away like yesterdays trash
When I am no longer of any use
Unrequited and useless to you
You can tighten the noose

You can light me on fire
Tear away at my flesh
Let my screams be heard
As the pain is raw and fresh

You can do anything you want
As I am helpless to stop you
For I gave you this power
From the beginning I knew

You torment me
Without batting an eye
But I'll bare through this torture
Just for this one special guy

Love is such a foolish thing
But then again I am a Fool
The consequences of falling in love
Are really far too cruel

Although I know all of this
I'll do it, Just for you
So I'll let you hurt me all you want
In hopes you will love me too.


Hurt me
 May 2018 SafetyWithinWords
Nyx
Hey Mr, Could you tell me
Whats the best way to die?
There are so many different reasons
I don't know which one to try

Should I, Slit my wrists in a vertical direction
Watch the blood drip down, As a desperate need for affection
The blood draining from my body to surround me in a crimson red, would I finally then feel happiness spread

Should I, Overdose on drugs? Illegal or Prescription?
Feel the nausea and vomiting decay my body, As nobody ever listened.

Should I, Drown myself in the bathtub? Or the pool to make it public
The crushing pressure of my lungs collapsing, As if i am absolutely nothing. A burning feeling will spread through my chest as if I am to burst
But dont look down into the depth cause surely you'll feel worse

Should I, Step onto the highway? With all the cars at top speed
Allow the pain of my bones breaking, As I only wanted to be needed
The impact could still render me alive, But in a world of agonising pain, then everything I had done will surely be in vain

Should I, Light myself on fire? Or torch me and my home
Let the searing flesh melt off of me, As I was always left alone
They will hear my screams for miles to come, but know that it was me
As my charred corpse will remain, forever left unseen

Should I, Hang myself in the closet? Let my mother find me dead
Feel the tightening rope cut short my breath, As nobody heard what I said. My limp blue body will dangle down with a note left by my bed

Should I, Jump off a high building? A tall place with strong winds
For a moment I can fly away, before I splatter across the ground leaving nothing but my outline and some red

Should I, Shoot myself in the head? Allow myself to pull the trigger
A gunshot will echo, I'll fall to the ground, Then I would finally be dead.
I wouldn't feel a single thing just the hurt of those before me
It would be instant and over in a second, that way their tears wont bore me

So Mr, Could you tell me
The best way that I can die?
You've played this game before
So hurry there is no need to lie

Hey Mr,
Its not like you actually care
Whether I personally live or die
So hurry up and tell me
As he's waiting for me in the afterlife
What is the best way to die?
 May 2018 SafetyWithinWords
Nyx
Tell me something
Would you dear?
Tell me something
I want to hear

Tell me I'm beautiful
That i'm better then the rest
Tell me I'm unique
That I'm incredibly blessed

Tell me that I'm creative
With all my writing skills and Art
Tell me that I'm amazing
That I'm insanely smart

Tell me that I'm special
The only one for you
Tell me that you don't need them
That you'll never tell me adieu

Tell me that I'm kind
That I'm tender and sincere
Tell me that I'm innocent
Even though I'm someone to be feared

Tell me that I'm not a mess
That I'm not broken inside
Tell me that I'm perfect as I am
That it doesn't matter that I lied

Tell me that I'm not unwanted
That my friends actually need me
Tell me that my soul isn't black
That you understand and can see me

So tell me with pure honesty
What is hidden within my eyes
Tell me that you know the truth
That there is more underneath my disguise
Tell me what you truly see
 Apr 2018 SafetyWithinWords
Nyx
Maybe I can rewrite time
Change who i really am
Become a new person
Everyone will be like ****

Maybe I can fix myself
Paint my face with bright colours
Makeup does the trick
The boys will get flutters

Maybe I can become more wanted
By losing a bunch of weight
Going to the gym weekly
I could even get a date

Maybe I can change my style
Become beautiful and bright
Updating my closet
I could light up the night

Maybe I could become more intelligent
By studying a lot more
I could improve my grades
Then I wouldn't be as dumb as before

Maybe I can change my personality
Make it perfect and right
then everyone will love me
They would be filled with delight

Maybe I should learn to accept
That I can't change who I am
No makeup nor items of clothing
Can distinguish who I am

For I am, me
With all the faults and scars
Nobody is perfect
We are just one of a million stars

So maybe in the end
I can wish and hope with all my might
But even if i did change all these things about me
I doubt that I could ever be satisfied
As acceptance is the true key
There are so many things I want to change about myself but then if i did become perfect, What would be left of the real me?
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