I never knew a few years could feel like a few centuries, life is short but feels so long. Are we forgetting the difference? I always wonder. I always wonder too much, but can you find other people who do the same? Good, i don't feel as lonely in this dungeon.

The holidays masquerade as
simple and sweet,
the affectionate smell
of freshly baked cookies,
melted chocolate and
a minty breeze,
The fantasy of something white,
and lights, lights
so many lights.

But up close it's
nothing more than
tension, poorly masked
by contrived small talk.
No politics.
No religion.
And don't talk about anything
that matters.
Guilt at the pit of my stomach,
in a small room
with too many people,
too many inauthentically polite people.
And a clock,
A clock that won't stop ticking
for just a moment,
to let me breathe.

You ask me if I have a
“New Years Resolution,”

Honey,
I gotta write myself
A new constitution.
Ima start a personal revolution
Cuz I made a conclusion:
I wasn’t being the best person I could’ve,
I wasn’t.

Didn’t take risks or chances that I could’ve,
I wouldn’t.

I didn’t see the good in front of me,
I couldn’t
But I wanted.

Ima treat myself better
Than how I treat my best friends
I’m start things and finish’em
Right till they end

Ima love a bit harder than ever before
Ima even call my mum a little bit more.

Ima tell everyone I adore that they deserve mountains instead of molehills,
Cause they’re all modest in nature and indulge wisely like mice
You deserve every grain in that small bowl of rice
Even if you don’t want to admit it
Even if you don’t realise

Ima sing
Ima craft a love song through the notes that I write
Through my scribbles and nibbles
Gonna treat my lovers right

My friends
my companions
my sisters and brothers
I’ll smother y’all with cheesy ****
Like the personal poet you never had

And I’m glad
That I have the nicest humans
Who I only met in happenstance
Who listen to my ramblings
And the dramatic ways of my circumstance

Maybe this year
I write something brilliant,
Jubilant,
Magnificent
But if I can manage to make someone smile
That would already be significant

If you asked me for my New Years Resolution,
I couldn’t really answer you,
The goals I have in mind
Are really far from “just a few.”

We wrote our names on the beach in animal bones
as a vivisection, on our love.
there, she’s whispering into shells
into their Fibonaccian, trumpeted, dresses
and full-cheeked into a razor clam flute.
I, too, gave my blood to grease our domestica
and hung names on stars over the nighttime sea
always accompanied as I were
with the shark-eye, death, of her looks.

We dressed up the walls of home in black and pinstripe,
filled the place up with lit and lightless places,
Shadowboxed, shadowfucked, and silently argued.
Spent hours inside, laying floorboards
and then laying on them
to stare at the sodium lights
and discuss the inkblots on our eyes.
We vivisected our lives,
and splashed it on the walls
and carved it into the carpets.

We set alight to christmas trees
when the kids were sleeping upstairs.
We dressed in each-other’s reddening horror
and answered the door.
Valentines day was full of bone bouquets,  
the gripper rods grew through the carpet
so on them we danced.
I prayed for the first time in the first year
and every one hit me subesquently
like I was its anvil.

I should have gone to war.
Because it makes forever shorter
things can only happen right now.

I watched everything in our domestica,
like when the static moved off the television
and played on the window
gutting me of my escape.
The smiles hung on our faces like lupus,
We had people round,
we cooked and coughed and choked
And their faces peeked round from the doorframe
and laughed.

The domestica lives
only to be a bit of fun,
but in the very same span of time
that decided to **** the birds on my windowsill
and my children’s love for me
and my dexterity.
We’ve happened to the whole world too
I promise you, my love,
my little hospice fire,
my flat tire at night at nowhere,
the lie you recognise means it’s over,
A field of a thousand three-leaved clovers,
the brightest night when you’re hiding,
your heart attack on holiday,
your bloodstained bed sheet
And sleep, whilst outside
the sleet and snow makes every emergency
harder to get to, and still the morning
much more beautiful.
I, you, we happened.

And there never was a girl I loved quite like you,
but I'm sitting here thinking that we are through,
because how I can get back to how things used to be,
when I looked at you, and you smiled me,
and there we were kissing on that New Years eve,
didn't think one day you'd up and leave,
still, if you looked at me and smiled and said
"I love you boy get it into your head"
then I'd open my arms and I'd open my heart
because you my dear are a work of art.

In those days so long ago,
It used to be what we know.
Now days have come and gone their way,
I now long for yesterday.
The beast within has yet to be tamed,
His snarling teeth his relentless rage.
His fearsome roar and untitillating stage,
Begots all in his own way.
Mind the path where your footing may lay,
It seems to be missed those good ole days.

The Street is pretty empty
Just the locals out tonight
It's New Year's Eve and chilly
Seems this time, that all is right

No drunken revelers on the Street
All the buildings are shut tight
Except the bar and Gianni's place
On the Street, that's just alright

The Blues Man sits out back right now
And he's looking at the moon
No fireworks, or crystal *****
Say the New Year's coming soon

He coughs a bit, a little harsh
Grabs his medcin, and guitar
then he gently starts to playing
Looking at a single star

There's a few folks in Giannis
Watching the ball drop on tv
The bar is full of locals
Where the New Year's shots are free

But out back of Gianni's
The Blues Man sits in peace
Singing gently to the midnight sky
Sitting besides the drums of grease

This year he found his daughter
Memories of years gone by
And he sings tales of their meeting
To the chilly, midnight sky

His daughter is his lodestone
She keeps him grounded, always did
No matter where he ventured
He always loved his missing kid

She's drinking at the bar now
While The Blues Man sits out back
Singing tunes in Winter Darkness
He lets us in...but just a crack

The door behind Gianni's
Is open, just a bit
It's open for the Blues Man
To go get warm and sit

But, for now, he sits here playing
As the New Year ventures in
He sings songs about redemption
And he drinks his medcin

An hour in and locals
Leave Gianni's and the bar
They venture to the alley
Where he's playing to that star

They join him in silence
Hear his prayer for the year new
They are swept up in his magic
And let him do what he must do

He smiles and keeps on singing
Fills the night air with his voice
For no matter how his life is
He only had one choice

He's the Blues Man, always will be
He's the teller of the tales
He sings songs out in the alley
He's the wind in the Street's sails

He finishes his last song
His daughter standing, smiling wide
She gives him a kiss upon his forehead
And she ushers him aside

He'll wake up again tomorrow
In the alley, cold but free
That's the life of The Street Blues Man
And that's the way ...that it should be.