A pierced spirit remains
Brought low but prideful
Judgement of myself
Without any self-value

Pangs of hatred stir
And of sorrow lost
Execution of soul
A shell without purpose

How utterly I have been broken
Oh! Faith has been vanquished!
An enemy has ravaged my heart
Decrepit and crippled ruins remain

There is no more hope
I am blind with pain
I no longer know my way
Loss is all there is

Even though I don't remember the next morning
I know it reaked of violation and filth
The taste of my own tears lingered
Until the next day mid afternoon
Right before the sunset
Right after everyone let me be
If only for a moment

The morning after
When I woke up to a hostile sun
I screamed until my lungs were dry
And cried until my tears covered the kitchen linoleum
I ruined a new pair of clothes
And ripped out a few dozen stands of hair
Just because your fingers may have grazed them

In the shower I boiled the skin off my back
And tried to breathe water
Just to get the taste of you
Out of my eyes
I must've washed you off of me
At least a dozen times over
But I couldn't rinse the space behind my eyes
Where you left the most of yourself
Invasive and volatile

I had to tell my daddy
What happened to his baby girl
And watch him ache to break down your door
And straight into your chest
To take your heart
As some sort of payment
For what you've done
I watched my mother cry
And my sister cry
With pain that was never theirs to carry

And so each morning I wake up
To the memory of what you did
When I had just been out for a little fun
With sweet drinks that didn't taste like poison
Until you made them that way
When you touched me
When you had no right to do so
And I wonder if there's anything that I could have done differently

Since then every day
You **** me again
When I can't look someone in the eyes
Because I don't want to see their pity
Or their judgement, their doubt
When I'm scrutinized in the streets
Or my name is whispered
Behind a closed door
Or is screamed in my face that it was my fault
That it isn't an excuse

I'd rather die than face it
But I fear for my daughter
So I stay
To watch her
Protect her from my own fate
And shake quietly when I'm alone at night
Knowing you're loose
Waiting for someone to bring me some justice
To put you away
Leave you lying in a shallow grave
Anything to give me security again

But I have none
Because I have been robbed
And I smile to counteract it
And everyone tip-toes around the subject
Like it's a sleeping bear
That will maul them if they stir it up
But it's not an animal
It's something that happened to me
And everyone is so afraid of it

I had to be strong
But I'm afraid too
Afraid that it might never scab over
And become a scar
Because scars fade
But wounds bleed
And I am wounded
And every morning in the shower the blood drips from my ears
And leaks down the drain
When I have to look at MY body
That YOU used
And try to remember that I am strong
And that you haven't beaten me
Then wonder if that's really true

I have to make it true.

The scent of your hair still lingers at my fingertips.

I hadn't felt **** like this yet. Soft caresses and sweet kisses turned bitter by your doubtfulness. Doubtful of yourself initially, eventually landing on my doorstep like an eviction letter. I had to escape. I didn't feel held in your arms. Your touch felt cold as tears fought through stubbornness. Waves of nausea clash below my heart as it desperately tries not to drown. I can't stay.

Now I'm filled with the gaping hole that you today filled and made whole. You leave me cold, dead, exposed, naked. Lay me out on the icy steel table and cut me open for examination. Do you like what you see?

fallen love
disappears from sight
gone from view
I'm left alone
nothing to fight for

fallen love
I desperately look for
before I bleed out
searching for soul
nothing

fallen love
fell off the mighty steed of truth
true colors show
bright as daylight

fallen love
I once loved
now I'm alone
trying to survive
where were you
when I needed you
when I was left to die
when thr bleeding hearts of some
and the shattered remains of others
screamed for you

it's too late
we are gone

fallen love
beautiful
pure
once
now just gone

fallen love

She's a little right,
A little left,
A little wild,
With no safety net,

She flaunts her battle scars,
With a brave formidable heart,
A rough, blurred past,
With a smile that forever lasts,

She's that little morning call,
That raise your darkened soul,
She's a little magic ring,
That you'd always find its need,

She's a little wounded inside,
And still hold a smile,
She's a little left and right,
A blessing that lingers for a while,

What brought an eternal night and bitter storm of emotions and fears
Rages in her heart an' across her soul, you would know
If you could see through a waterfall of unseen and silent tears
Maybe realize the things she needs just to make her feel alive is a heavy line to tow

'Tis always plain to these eyes even as the storm roars and rages
In those eyes I see rose hiding amongst the shadows
Like her emotions housed, locked away in tight little cages
Safe from the rays of day or night, it still grows

A heart that is not so barren, but in fact an enchanted garden
Not even the wild **** grows or can survive so fair
In that heart, that enchanted place, well hidden
But a rose dwells there

Watered by the tears of an angel in the dark solemn silence
Day to day, night by night they continue to fall
While she punishes her mind and heart, a state of false indifference
Wondering if love is even worth it at all

That rose that dwells in enchanted garden, in eternal night
Amid visions of dark emotions of hope and joy departed and fled
Behind the thick shade of the shielding shadows, hiding from the light
That rose has not blossomed, left alone, carved its own way not again to be led

To false hope and promise, it will not bend
Strong in will and spirit
To its own needs it does tend
Ah, a man only am but I, with words and emotions I weave and lace to reach it

Others have trampled that garden in search of their own hollow things
But not I, in time with proper healing, the garden again will prosper
If my words can reach, if to that heart they touch and in special melody sings
Soft and warm a tender embrace a bitter sweet whisper

Come now, they come, these fairy bewitched hours at fading red of sunset
Walk the pace to heartbeat quickens, to that good day's dream at the twilight hour last
Fluid that dream changing at whim, a rose in storm and emotions rage, steadfast not fled, but well met
Not yielding, in an enchanted garden, the flower's dreams are cast

~W.N.

Oh, the sheep have fangs!
   They have buried them
   within my fickle flesh!

They tear and gnaw until
   I am, to the bone, broken.
Woe to me!