~I look at the buds still wrapped
on the ripening kernels. I want
to be in there, unhatched and unpolished.
—Shirley Kaufman, "Poem in November", Gift of Tongues

Death's wings
written January 10th, 2021

The Angel Death
wraps his wings around me
I feel him there
when I stop suddenly
Death's wings
jostling around me
settling into place.

He holds his breath
so I won't have that proof
of his presence
or any other
reassurance in this life.

Are his wings protection?
or curse?
Their silence wrapped around
is my well known company
these many years
Death's wings my comfort in life.

she stood before the edge of a cliff
as the earth beneath her became undone
a single white flower clung desperately to life
the angel crushed the fragile petals beneath her
with the same feet that once danced on clouds
but she was no longer in the heavens
she was on earth and the gravity of her situation
teased her naivety until she was struck with tears

she fell into the waters, of a gray stormy day
a place that surely no one, not even god, could find her
her worn wings had no intentions of flying
and she smiled, effortlessly, the way she had always done
gracefully falling in the air, even as she plunged into her demise
the small angel drowned at sea, with a heart pulled apart
by all the centuries that she attempted to love humans
and perhaps, she just wasn't meant for this world

i have butterflies
every single one unique in its own way
beautiful delicate wings
with intricate patterns and a variety of colors

each individually carved from stone
by the anxious claws that embed themselves into my skin

i focus on those butterflies
if only to distract me
from my thoughts in my head
from my tingling fingers turning numb
from my pounding heart
and from the air that is no longer in my lungs

i focus on those butterflies
on the way their rough wings scrape along the inside of my stomach
their screams from being crushed by those sharpened claws
and the heavy
sickening feeling
they leave behind

I could only watch the fire,
burning all that I hold dear,
all because of that ******* liar,
and my salvation nowhere near.
The flames went so high,
and the smoke even higher,
I couldn’t see a single star,
and all the people just walked by.
I wished to run really far,
to escape this burning light,
where it wouldn’t be so bright.
I coughed, my lungs filled with smoke,
and my heart slowly broke,
as I turned around,
away, from the crackling sound.
I was the liar – to myself lying,
saying, that I wouldn't wake up the next day, crying.
But I am a little bit glad,
now I can stop living in constant fear,
leave my old life here,
and that doesn’t sound so bad.
Sometimes, you need to burn down the things,
stopping you from spreading your wings.
Ahead I could see,
a new life, new me,
towards which I started to walk,
behind me leaving only smoak.

You were special from the start.
I felt your hands when I met you.
I felt not just skin, but something different.
Something very soft, almost pillowy.
They were feathers. You were born with wings.
You soared in skies no human could ever reach
You heard secrets the wind told no one else.
But when the jealous world mocked you
You hid under the bed.
And when you could bear no longer
You cut off your wings
And tossed them away.
You could have
Just flown away
Leaving the
Undeserving world
To itself.

> 2:50am
So, I asked about fairy wings
when I was 11;
   you never delivered.
   In case you want to make up for me,
I will be just fine
with a true lover instead.
That should be easier.
Isn't it?
<
-Delivered 2:52am

-New message 2:53am
From: Santa
>
I'm bringing you your wings
<