Emptiness filled every chasm in my flesh.
Seeping through the rags I used to hide my exposed wounds.
Those filthy ***** rags, muddied with my shameful bloodied mind.
I just want to be clean and whole.
Clean and whole.

I was 1000 pieces, it said so on the box.
A thousand tiny details beneath a dusty lock.
People loved the challenge and would open me
Only to sort through for the piece they needed.

If the piece didn't fit,
It simply wasn't worth it.
And within a moment,
I understood it.

Everyone wanted my pieces to fit together quickly,
But this takes time and can be tricky.

Did being on the shelf
Make me selfish?
Or was it wise
To disguise
My flaws?

Time passed and I never did get assembled.
I didn't even resemble
What I should've.

And then one day, I met you.

Suddenly, I wasn't 1000 separate parts.
I was infinite, older than the stars.
You held each piece and felt the bumpy edges,
My crests and ledges.
And slowly slid each one into place,
A look of certainty across your face.

You smoothed my cracks,
And I no longer lacked
Anything.

You made me whole again.
And right then,
I knew
That all I had been missing

Was you.

Vulnerable.
The state I remain in when I am with you.

Broken.
Without you, my heart is scattered in pieces.

Whole.
You fill my heart with love.

Love.
I love you, more than you possibly know, *without condition.

Two halves, never whole,
Just patches on a wounded soul.
Mended with golden thread,
black spots conquer a heart of red.

what does your hand reach for
away from the power source?
why do you reach away from that which will heal and help you?
fame in the west
false sense of security and peace in the north
greed fuels the reach for the east
down south you will find heartbreak and misery
don't overextend yourself
give yourself a backache from reaching for a happiness that will never come
instead, turn inward for a moment
reach for the light that is within you
give the richest parts of yourself away
and there you will find true happiness.

I think one thing about love at first sight, Is you do not truly see the whole person, but the beauty their soul holds. and if you both feel the same way, you long to become the greatness you see in each other

Windswept.

The night is alive
with tears from the sky.

The night is dead;
the dagger of light pierced it. Killed it.

The tears mingled on my cheeks:
that of the night. And mine.
They tasted salty. And bitter.

The rain shower clothed me.
Made me whole.
Pilfered pieces of my soul.

The howling winds disrobed me.
Left me naked. And empty.
Yearning, always searching.

You weren't here. But I wish you were.
You were comfortable in your blankets.
In the warmth of your bed,
cuddled in someone else's embrace.

As the rain poured.
Made me empty. Made me whole.

I wish I could say you are a piece of me.
I wish I was a piece of you.
I don't know if I ever was.
Did I make it up?
Was I wrong?
The distorted thoughts consume me but contain the most vulnerable memories I have.

I was never a piece of you.

This is where I was wrong.
I let myself believe in a person that I knew didn't want me.
I knew you didn't want me.
It was clear.
The distortions that I believed became me.
They became my "love" for you.

I did not love you.

I can truly say you were a piece of me at one point in time.
When I barely knew you.
When I didn't know the true monster you are.
The manipulative soul that I let take mine.
The manipulative soul that I let manipulate me.
I let you consume me.
Every part of me.
Destroyed.

When you were a part of me I couldn't get enough.
It was nothing like the nights I lay crying in your bed.
The nights I lay crying in my bed.
The days I lay crying in my bed.
The entire days that I cried.

Too many wasted tears.
I had hoped you wouldn't waste them.
I hoped they would fix you.
I hoped they would make you want to fix youself, for me.

I was wrong.

You haven't been a part of me since I relied on you.
It's hard for me even to remember when I could do that.
It's hard to recall the times you were actually there.
You actually did care.
But you were not invested.
You never let me become a part of you.

And I will not be consumed in these distortions any longer.