Have you ever seen them getting along without you and you just break a little?
Once they told you that they'd die without you and you believed them.
Being so manipulated into love, you believed them.
But there's that same part of you that always knew it would happen like this.
You were blind and you let **** slide when you should have held them accountable and left long ago.
Yet you stayed and waited.
You waited for them to realize they were hurting you.
Waiting to prove that your love was enough for them to realize.
Waiting.
And waiting.
But you've become so obsessed with the thought of someone just holding you in their arms like you mean the world
You forgot what being truely loved, felt like.
Honey, even after you found the strength to say it was over there's still that part of you that's still waiting for them.
And that's why when you see them smile in a photograph it hurts so much.
Because your waiting for them to beg at your feet for your forgiveness.
Because they became a part of who you were.
So you're still waiting.
You've moved on but a part of you is still waiting.
Preying on the fact that you were "the one" for them.

*******, you're delusinal.

eight years.
so much can happen.
in our case,
so much can be kept apart.
"our case."
"our" does not exist to describe us.
there is no "us"
or "we."
there is only
you
and
me.
separate pronouns
for separate people.
I wish this were not so.
if I'd had my way,
we'd be twenty-five
with a quaint little home
two dogs
one cat
and a loving Church family.
or
we'd be seventeen
with dates every night
two hearts
one love
and an encouraging Church family.
but I can't have my way.
I can't have it all.
and you are all.
to me, in the most.
but,
she got to you first.
she was born in '91.
she was there through college,
through hardships with your mother,
through more than I know and ever could.
she's been there longer.
she's been there for years.
I've been here twenty minutes
in comparison.
but I love you.
no amount of
time,
experience,
change,
challenge,
ridicule,
nor
age,
could ever change the way my eyes melt when yours mirror mine.

To put it plain, you’re cheating:
your eyes are wandering off the test in front of you
and into grass that still seems green, like
the eyes you suddenly fall into when they smile
and dance on a face so much like
the one you used to love when
you were young and now again,
you strain at commitment’s tether
because on the other side of the fence
there might be more to life than getting old.

Eyes are like skies; blue. Mine jealous green,
I keep an altar to pray at, who cares if it's clean,
To me you are so new, I'm broken, I'm old,
Sunrise turns me to copper but spins you to gold

I want to fall in love.
And want someone to return that love.
I want someone to love.
Someone who will be my light.
In this world of dark thoughts.
Someone who will be there.
Someone who will smile at me and laught with me.
I want to fall in love with someone and I want this person to return my love.
So we can both be happy,
together.

I am the flower petals
and fairy dust
mixed for dark magic
luring you
out of the dark with
a burst of
dragon fire and
silver.
Your devil laugh is
mine.


**V. K.

Because you always seem to waste
my last breath,
on your first puff
of a newly lit cigarette.

And that,
kind of hurts my breathing,
kind of hurts my heart.

i'm wanting
like hard brittle things
want to break

stuttering, trying to explain
to the organized, box trained
how badly i need a little chaos

cause those patterns out there
in the stars
make way more sense to me
than your day planners

And i've tried.
half my life i've tried
the people pleasing parts of me, still ******* trying
to play the expected parts
so much so
that my own offspring - my own blood
looks at me now with foreign eyes
reflecting the familiar disapproval

as I burn up the parts of me i'm done with
the parts they told me I had to be
letting all the "ugly" colors bleed through

everyday I get a little closer
to what i'm supposed to be...