Because,

He fell for the red on her cigarette,
Her breath on floating dandelions,

The eyelash on her cheek,
The stretchmarks on her thighs,

The little hairs on her belly,
The way her eyebrows don't perfectly match,

The way she loved dogs more than children,
The way she stares at tree leaves swaying.

He fell for her as a whole
Not the way others had before,

And she, did not care.
She constantly fell in the sea

Of arms, that has haunted
Since her eyes began to see lust.

Drowning endlessly,
Knowing he would send her a lifeboat.

mommy loves you unconditionally
even as you soar amongst the clouds
searching for the perfect timing
to come on down
please, forgive my impatience
i just have this undying urge
to have you here
in my arms, clinging to my breast
as i provide you with life
and you provide my breaths

little one, shining so bright
come to me only when you feel it's right
the doctors tell me otherwise
and my womanhood is of questionable might
but i know you are as rightfully my child
just as i am the moon to your night

an infertile mother will forever understand
why so many letters are written to our unborn
with shaken hands
why so many tears have fallen
why you wonder it isn't your calling
to be given a life of other plans

but i know you hear me, little one
and i know you love me too
and i promise to better preserve my body
so that it may be the perfect home for you
until you are ready to bless me with your smile; the uniqueness that is true
everything i do, everything i aim to be,
every dream i work so hard to achieve

i do for you

so please, be slow and easy little one
mommy needs preparation too
just know this,
when you've become tired of waiting;
when you're ready for the world
and you're journey has come to the point of passing through
watch for flashing lights
and smiling faces
and tears of joy
listen for songs of love

because i'll be right there--
for i've been waiting too...

just for you.

Tilt past the uncertain
I replied with the molten
form of my disillusion
that I want to leave a precaution
for a manner speaking,
I work like there's no beginning
nor end to what I offer
and the rest of my co-worker.
We'd trudge to get home
and the wanting to go alone.
Will the drizzle ever stop
or will the week gets tough?

Under the clouds of hope
I married your kind eyes with the faith
of a million flowers bringing
back the spring
to the wild gardens
of my left atrium. I swear
I did not know that you were born
of rain and alcohol, because every one
of your touch could douse the flames
your kisses light on my skin.
I tried to write more about how every
time you said the word “halo”, your mouth
would curl like a serpent waiting to attack;
how your hands always were a warm
reminder of thoughtless touching;
how your feet are tired from all the walking
down flights of a paradox of stairs
and still wanting to run
away with me.

Oh Lord, Take my Potential
And do with it what you will
For I squander opportunity
And fear I always will

I seek to love and honor you
And some days find my way
Yet the next will find me wanting
As myself do I betray

I seek to know and understand
The purpose I am serving
The thing that I most fear
Is that you find me undeserving

So I study and I scramble
For the tiniest attainment
And take solace in the truth
I am providing entertainment

1999

My memory is damaged and short lived
But when you're scent became a drift
I looked out my window
Hoping you would be there
Your scent so powerful
INHALE
____________
It revived our last call to my mind
You told me it would be fine
I told you it was going to be like the movies
And that I would be your beauty
But
The rain has stopped
The pain is real
And
I missed your kiss
Where has my beast disappeared
_________
As I look out my window
It begins again.
I hear the dance
drip
drop
drip
drop
Like the sound of a clock
The rain has come back
For a second chance

I'm just your ***** little secret
Something you want
But are ashamed of having
I'm meant to be there when you want me
And that's it.
Nothing more
All I am is your ***** little secret