I'm higher now because of you
& the lows subside because of you
My feelings are fresh, senses renewed
I woke up smiling because of you

Sunlight is brighter in these eyes
That have since been stolen within your gaze
Music is sweeter, the mundane is song
The air around is charged all day long

Nothing makes any more sense
But the unknown is no longer the enemy
It is an acquaintance of mine
I shake its hand with eagerness

I look to the stars
I confide in the darkness around
In whispering moonlight I hear your voice
I am filled with warmth

Wherever it comes from,
Wherever it's going
Is not for me to ascertain

I only wish to keep this warmth with me
As long as it sees fit to soothe

I only ask you to warm your hands
Interlocked within my own

I long only to learn how well they fit
In between spaces I can create for you

I want you to teach me,
I am willing to learn

My heart aches but cannot
feel
My eyes wonder but cannot
stare
My lips yearn but cannot
touch
My hands brush but cannot
stay
My stomach flips but cannot
rest
My tears flow they cannot be
stopped.

Under the cold ambient night sky
My senses run wild
Having tasted it
I want more
I crave no others
Is this selfish?
To want this warmth flow over my skin
To have those arms around me each day
Do i delude myself, like i always do
Or do i let the fire burn in the winter snow?

The moon shines bright overhead, gleaming and proud, the undisputed king of the night. But his reign comes to an end soon enough. Streaking colour shows its extravagant self meekly, under a band of presiding dark blue. The blue marches ever on, stately and cool in his mission. Where he is going I do not know, only that I can never follow quite as quickly. He gives way to dainty pink scars climbing the canvas, much in the way a mum gives way to a child growing in wisdom and in stature. The collection of onlookers isn't quite sure what comes next and hangs in celestial silence as the scene unfolds before them. Behind them, a quiet wonder turns the canvas from blue to purple. No one was more shocked than I to see violet light from the heavens in the face of a yellow ruler. The rebellious purple seems to realise his folly and quickly transformed into a pink of sorts, a much more agreeable shade for the occasion. I miss his first grin though, the unapologetic first hue, the dare to be new. From here it is slow going until it isn't anymore. I stare at the same striped world as handmaidens rush to awaken all who are needed for a sunrise. Even now I can see from where life will rise, such a golden carpet is already rolled out. It will be very long until he makes an appearance, but I shall wait. I will wait for him because he is my love, my heart, my one. I will stay all day and night to see him anew if he decided to stay away for a day.
My world is more sky than land, to which I am tied. Whether an act of mercy or pride, I see the sky every day from afar, always yearning to be drawn closer some day and find myself laying in the hands of the stars.
Finally the scuttling onlookers are rewarded with touches of heat and light and life from my love, and they seem to shrink away. Why would some run from him? What causes one to leave so enthusiastically when he has finally come? It's the jubilation time, what a time to be alive!
The moon hangs nearly where he started, dully marking the sky. Half proud and waning silently, he jealously slinks away, the only one who shines not at sunrise. No one sees him leave.

What is the measure of a soft touch
& one you want so very much?

It's a satellite orbiting my skin
sanding out the flaws,
buffing it to perfection,
helping with our direction
a sugary confection,

It's whatever you say it is,
In a **** deep voice
against a feeling bone,
one who's so accident prone
taking all seeds I've sewn
oh those winds have blown,

and its when I'm alive
It's how we thrive
like when an orchid blooms
adapting to the core changes,
the smell of that perfume,
an intoxicating waif
a drowning plume,
standing strong
where I belong,
in the shining summer sun
a tantalizing sweet
& such a lovely treat,

unrequited & uninvited
haunting & wanting
in a ghost town,
where you take care
of needs
measured in your helpful deeds,
those rugged hands
are taunting,
& in those selfless demands
I feel a fire
please take me higher
I'm begging
& on my knees
oh hear my pleas
I burn here in desire,

Yes I'd give in
It's not committing sin
I'd tell myself,
as a love strong
door opens,
& we begin.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

I think about her fingers gripping your back
I hear nails on a chalkboard
You whispering to her in the dead of the night,
move over, love, you’re hogging the blanket
White noise in my ears
my head hurts, your voice rattles inside and ricochets off the walls of my mind
I stop hearing you after a while
The walls are padded now
You are only in my head these days
I’d rather have you hurt than have you nothing
It was worse than a screaming, breathless argument
When I kissed and kissed and touched
but you did not move
I could not move you, could no longer make you feel
No matter how tightly I closed my eyes
I could still see how little you loved me
No matter how hard I tried not to grip your fingers like I was falling from a cliff
I still felt your hand cramping from the effort to stay in mine
I will never say that you did not try
You used to believe in things like magic and yourself
Yet, here you are saying, ‘love doesn’t really matter at all, does it?’
and I made you this way
My sharp edges cut you
Someone someday standing where I once stood
She’ll smile like it’s second-nature, and have a laugh that isn’t forced
She’ll taste like me but less bitter, with hair far softer, her speech not course

I’m sure you’ve forgotten the feeling of
the curve of my waist when your hand settles on it
the way silken strands of my hair slip between your fingers
the way my exhale feels against your neck

But I still remember
the way you drunkenly texted me at 2am
saying “i know it’s late,
but i can’t stop thinking about kissing you
and you falling asleep on my arm.”
the way you take your coffee,
strong and black.
the way you held my hand across the table
at dinner.
how your hand felt on my thigh,
sitting in the passenger seat of your car
while we listened to that song by Brand New

i hope i can make you remember, too.

Young girl.
Tears in her eyes.
Every night she sat there and cried.
At school she didn't fit in.
She wanted to end it before it could begin.
Broken hearts.
Always torn apart.
Sweet girl.
In a broken world.
Never speaking up.
Her mind ready to erupt.
Ready to take her last breath.
Not knowing what all was left.
Not knowing the people left to meet.
Not knowing life could be sweet.
She wanted it all to be over.
Never giving life a chance.
Finally she let life take her hand.
Then she was finally able to understand.
Life was leading her to the light.
But in order to find it she had to walk through the night.
So as of today,
This girl no longer hides away.
This girl has discovered beauty.
The beauty life really can be.
That girl just might have been me.

A.S. A random Poem for a random night.