The Walls

That day when I sighed
Holding the hand of my love
And closing my eyes...

The cracks on my wall - yellow and pale
Took me on a journey where I inhaled, memories.

The hands that held me too tight,
Like the walls enclosing me in my sight,
And as they walk nearer to me
I could feel the paint, the mould, the cement..

And as I inhaled it, it was too much, too near,
Taking away something very dear,
My respect lay in shards and every piece I collected pierced my heart.

There was no where to go,
No lanes to escape in to, no boats to row
Through this river drowning me,
Taking me away from the shore

The walls now a part of me
And I hanged like a picture for the world to see
Admire or sympathise, tragedy or lies,
Everyday I breathed the same fear and cries...

Till I was dropped one day
The frame no more allowed to stay
The pieces I picked, my dignity a broken stick,
My soul, a paper with words written all over
Till I reached..

I reached a cliff where my tragedies were only a whiff of air,
And my soul was not my own
But expanded and stretched by a force unknown

With my scars displayed as stars
And I the sky, too high to be touched
Too beautiful to be enough
For my stories to be told
And my scars to unfold
For the world to see, forever.

for the first time in quite a longtime i am happy. not the kind of happy like fake laughs at terrible jokes or the happy that never has some sort of real meaning. right now. november 2017. i am happy. i can feel my heart race when something good happens to someone else. i smile at everyone that i see. i find joy in helping others and i'm not afraid of love. i am not afraid to care for someone or to tell someone how much they mean to me. my walls have come crashing down. but not so loudly to the point where all of the people that hurt me come running back to damage the new heart that i fixed. but to the point where they came down softly and not all at once and people that i thought were just passing by saw the good. happy side of me and decided that they want to stay there. stay in my life. not to trash it and throw everything that they don't like away. but to clean it up and make it sunny again.

Knock, knock... I heard
Hello there...... she said
Hmm hello… I replied speechlessly
Who are you...? I regained reluctantly
Me! She answered. Oh I'm just a stranger
A stranger who's searching- who's seeking a rest
Somewhere I would belong, but somehow tis a quest
For I've walked and tugged through those happy dangers
But somehow they all came for the worth of my dangling dimes
Like the world we live in- is where we are groom to serve the dime
Or perhaps tis only me.... that I failed to erase those hurtful angers
No matter how much I tried- but somehow I wish a rest of my own
A place that stands with everything, but falls for nothing
An arms that wishes serve- but commands like a King
Are you..... [Silence]- Then she smiles
Leaving me again.... speechless

Dock and run! My mind screamed
Who is this? It suddenly exclaimed
Who's this.... stranger- who just broke our walls!
And walked right up the stairs- to the door of our heart
To cry with a master’s call that makes us feel- we’re in danger
  Do you know who she is? No! I answered- but I do know me!
I'm a ranger- I’m always running- always smiling n’ docking
For I’ve gallop with my trumpet, but haven't met the mile
The one that will play-out my little game of cunning's
And care enough for my team- thus passing our test
Our pretense of no dimes- till we can make the smiles
For we have war and tossed with pretty mimic angels
But they all went singing for the nickels and dimes
And care less for our steadied, but precious times
Yes! We need a rest of our own- but tis still okay
It’s still okay to remain speechless

Lock-in… I’m now seated at the window
With her last words still lingering on my mind
“A rest of my own- a kingdom that I can control
A throne to cherished, whenever there's war n cold
A hand that will protect- till our hearts can beat old
For there's history to make, so all the seas can be mild
And there's battles to win- that all smoke maybe gone  
A union that serves, but backed by the likes of a King
Who stands for everything, and falls for nothing"
A mudslide is in Freetown- my walls are down
A stranger cried croak, and they just tumbled down
Down the mountain went- like that of the Victorian falls
It stood against everything, but fell for something strange
A queen- who has humor immured within her walls
The stranger- who have made my nights
Sleepless