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Kelly Mistry Nov 5
Pieces of me
F  l  o  a  t  i  n  g

S
     i
          n
               k
                    i
                         n
                              g

Hiding below the surface

Keeping them submerged takes effort
Drains energy
Makes the pieces feel like a secret
                                       wrong
                                       shameful

What if
I lose them
Buried deep

Out of sight
Out of mind
Never to be seen again

The fear seems foolish sometimes
                                                       ­       but terrifyingly real

To be always incomplete
Never able
To put the pieces back together

What if my self didn’t need to fragment
For others’ comfort
Their easy understanding
And acceptance

Wholeness is hard to imagine
Especially for the pieces that started to s
                                                               ­       u
                                                        ­                b
                                               ­                          m
                                                               ­           e
                                                    ­                       r
                                                               ­             g
                                                  ­                           e
                                                               ­                  before memory began

What a wonderful dream though
To always have access to all of your parts and pieces
To in fact not have pieces

To just be

One person
                         
Complete
                                         ­   
And whole
Kelly Mistry Oct 4
Anger

The simplest
And most complicated
Of emotions

His anger is celebrated
A mirage of strength
Power
Control

Her anger is ridiculed
A loss of control
Inconvenient
Emotion without reason

Neither view is complete
Or completely wrong
For all of us

We feel righteous in our anger
Full
And complete

But anger can be an illusion
Of power
Control

Sometimes it pops
                                   Like a bubble
                                                          ­     A balloon of hot air

And we are left feeling empty
Drained
Sometimes full of regret
And shame

Even when it is justified
And full
                  of substance

It can only be an important step in a journey
But never a home
                                    worth living in

Use anger as a tool
A sign
“Injustice may live here”
Worthy of further exploration

But even in its most righteous form

Anger alone cannot solve problems
It can fuel action
Incite support
                               In the moment of outrage

But avoid the quicksand
Of rage untempered by reflection
That way leads to despair
Inaction
Silence

Beware anger as a shield
Against feeling

Pain
Guilt
Regret
Fear

These emotions are necessary steps
To continue any journey
To grow

Feel your anger
Seek to understand it
Then look beyond

Find strength
And power
In feeling
In seeking
                    shared vulnerability
                                                   ­          empathy
                                                        ­                        and joy
Kelly Mistry Sep 2
Accomplishment
Milestones
Completion...of a step

What does it mean to be done
Is there such a thing?

Sometimes the moment of doneness passes by
                 Invisible
Revealed only in hindsight

Savor the moments
Of completion
Accomplishment
Being done

Even if only of this step

The best laid plans can always go awry
So celebrate along the way

Celebrate the effort
The intention
The support you receive

Doneness as you expected may never comes to pass
If it does
You will more concretely see
                                                    all the steps it took to get there

Either way
We all benefit
From celebrating milestones
All the steps along the way

Whether that means dreaming an idea
Or completing a voyage
Across a sea
Intact
Kelly Mistry Aug 20
Cycles of pain
Circles of healing
What did I learn

Did I hold on
                         to the pain and miss
                                                              th­e lesson

Trauma can teach
But how do you know
The right lesson

We need meaning
To contextualize our pain
To start healing

If there is no meaning
Then we create one
It’s our greatest strength
Or possibly
                      our greatest weakness

I may make one meaning
You may make another

Which is right?
Both?
Neither?

Time will tell
Time will heal

But in time
                     Lessons can fade

We reimagine our past
With the meanings that we make

Who can say who’s right
And who’s wrong
In your own history

Does it matter in the end?
When the lessons we seem to learn best
Are the ones we already believe

New ideas are harder
Does harder mean better?
More real?
More right?

I don’t know

I guess I will just
Continue to make meaning

Seek to heal
         And hope for the best
Kelly Mistry Jul 2
Empathy comes from…

Shared feeling
Shared experience
Mirror neurons firing amok
Design, chance or evolution

All of the above
None of the above

Whatever the source
It is necessary

To my existence
To my experience of the world
Getting it
Giving it

A life without empathy

Would be colorless
Tasteless
Washed in gray and empty
Of life

But if you can’t give it
And you can’t accept it

How would you know what’s missing
A sense you’ve never had

I think of empathy as a vine
Tenacious
Entwined in all aspects of life
Always growing back if it is cut down

But I see
For others
How they move through the world

Maybe that isn’t true
Not for everyone

How can a seed be planted
But how
                can it not already exist

Perhaps its buried very deep
Out of sight out of mind
Requiring water
Light
Air
Belief
To grow

Empathy is necessary to our existence
The source may be mysterious
Debated

But without it
How can we see the humanity of others
How can we see the humanity
Of ourselves
Kelly Mistry Jun 14
How can you not see?
How can you not know?
Not hear

The manipulation beneath the concern
It may be real to them
The concern

“I just want what’s best”
For you
(For them)

“Best” is a narrow place to be
Pressure from all sides, pinning you in place

You’re just a puzzle piece
If you won’t make yourself fit in your place
They’re happy to help you cut off
                                                             the parts that don’t fit

Their image
Their vision for their world

It’s hard to resist
When they believe their own press
That they are the savior
The martyr

The truth is

They are a spider
And to be free of their web
Sometimes requires

Cutting all ties
The original version used female gendered pronouns, because that is true to my life and experience, but that felt too narrow, so this is a version with non-gendered and/or non-singular pronouns
Kelly Mistry Jun 14
How can you not see?
How can you not know?
Not hear

The manipulation beneath the concern
It may be real to her
The concern

“I just want what’s best”
For you
(For her)

“Best” is a narrow place to be
Pressure from all sides, pinning you in place

You’re just a puzzle piece
If you won’t make yourself fit in your place
She’s happy to help you cut off
                                                         the parts that don’t fit

Her image
Her vision for her world

It’s hard to resist
When she believes her own press
That she is the savior
The martyr

The truth is

She is a spider
And to be free of the web
Sometimes requires

Cutting all ties
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