I had to sit up to stretch my back.

      Starting to think I'm unfixable.
Always thinking unthinkables.

I'm sorry, I'm drawing a blank.
I say that too often, but I mean it always.

Always.
-to bring you up from darkness.
-to kiss your wounds.
-to drown in my own puddle of pity.
-to take a breath to soon.

And here I am.

My - own - little - slow - motion hurricane that rips - me - limb - from - limb as I cry and pry my - way - out - of - the - coffin that you have sown - my - lips - in...



I'm sorry, no.
NO **** that I'm not.
I'm not sorry that I yearn to love.
I crave to be loved and no one should feel as empty as me.
NO ONE!

So I'll give you the skin from my body to show a stranger that I give a **** that they live.
Then I'll slink away to shadows,
I will cleanse myself of his sins.

Growling curses into unknown faces
Chants to create glorious battle places
Just troop the forces for your defence
Anonymous missiles flew to no-man's land
Bet the devil confronted the angels there
Is this situation watched and celebrated?
When this comes to you, it's frightening
You bring the religious down to doom
But, the more you stress it, it gets stronger
History is a witness, and you know it
Time when mass expatriation and ******
Believing to wipe out the whole kind
His attempt failed, they play the game now
Creating villains in the world, they try
Attempts to tear a whole religion apart

Dozen military attempting crimes
Some didn’t expect it on children
When they wear religious Kasaya
Holding swords daring the police
Meant for protection but witness
In front of them, being slaughtered
Will they ever step forward?
Yes, but without their body parts
I’ve seen pictures of red rivers
Seen bodies of babies floating
Here we quarrel about border issues
There they don’t ask, just swings
Flesh into fragments of butchered meat
Like it’s a tradition, they *****
Left the bodies unburied, as trophies
As lessons to teach who believed
For their choices, for they were free
For they expected independence
For they believed to live with peace

please never tell me like father like son
every male role model i had
has killed someone once,
before or after i was born.
i didn't know. growing up
i had inherited a disposition for knife fights
i didn't have long arms, i had bulging veins
and frustrations.
but i loved to see my blood spurt,
my red mist is going to stain your teeth
breathe it all in while i writhe in pain.
wailing
dear daddy save me. show me compassion.
show me we're capable. or call me weak.
i dream of empathy through the light
of a lead pipe. use it to bruise me and
cave in my head.

Attitudes, can I change theirs?
Yes, they told
I ripped their souls with words
Did I change?
Not yet, they are still criminals
They rob people on their roads
They **** for wealth, properties

What should I do? Report?
That would be so polite of you
So legal and peaceful
Will I get immediate response
Sure, within two or three
Two or three what?
Years, they said

I might do it myself, next time
I said
Then you’re among them
I think, correction, I believe
They are among them too
Yeah, could be
Are you?
No, no. I like justice against crimes
But, it’s just crime

Sitting in traditional wooden pews
back in the mid-2000s,
a guest priest from the heart of the Congo
delivered a homily in broken English
about how his country had been torn to shreds
by warlords who control that region's
vast and valuable mineral deposits.

As the priest spoke in gentle passion,
a sea of sympathetic white faces listened
to him describe the rapes and murders,
the poverty and oppression.
One middle-aged woman in a yellow dress near the front
quietly sobbed at the reminder of true suffering,
a torture greater than mere death.

Out of a sense of courtesy
or possible humble generosity,
the priest did not disclose the minerals
that had brought on such gluttonous violence
were the very elements that make our electronics
flash and glow as perpetual escapes.

Instead, the priest requested
we pray with him
for future mystical solutions
to immediate physical problems.

As we filed out of the church
the older woman who'd wept
discussed driving to the local mall.
Apparently, there'd been a sale on mobile phones.
The crisp spring breeze had dried our tears,
and the power of the almighty dollar
wiped away our curiosity
and our short-term memories.

In this reign, every counsel members
Burning their brains to **** the rebels
Thousand ways to damage their spines
None of them dare to interrupt them
Watch them incinerate to the highest
Clouds blown aside, let them through
If the revolution reaches the blue sky
Carrying every helpless to the heavens
Their interest to keep them suppressed
Would add on to their misery to rule
Brainless, heartless, shameless to ****
Even hide the emotions inside the masks
If you could stare at their burning eyes
You could plainly extinguish the flames
Where the hell rises from the ground
Destroying wishes from shooting stars
And the molten flowing on the streets
Turning houses into ashes and spread
The atmosphere will fill with dark clouds
Once it will rain their greedy reign down
Hardening the bottom hard enough
Now the rocks you've created carelessly
Will be thrown at your hollow faces
Sense the aftermath before the stupidity
When the rich rise above the majority

A poem!
About that?!
Unspeakable
Unthinkable
Word-play
Won't help this time
Don't be a ****!

Bitterness
Twisted grinds
Anger seething
Justice seeking
Heart aching
Images playing dark
games with my mind

Overcome
Unable to move on
Go on absently
Clinging desperately
To humanity
- too much
Has already been stolen

Afraid of
Being altered
Contaminated
Violated
Hardened
Nothing stopped
Time didn't falter

Nauseous
Writhing, contorted
Cynical
With physical
Manifested pain
Can't digest
The anguish
I'm fraught with

This darkness
Blacker than night
Suffocating
Obliterating
Like thick tar
Engulfing all
Snuffing out all light

One breaths
Who shouldn't
Malicious
Vicious
Dead inside
Breathing as he struck
Till another couldn't

My breath
Taken away
Silenced
By violence
Still intruding
God help me lest
My good heart I betray