What is violence?

I don't do it, if I do –


I quickly forget.

Remembering those that are keeping it all together whilst being screamed at, humiliated, insulted, offended and hurt.

Those who feel like screaming but holding the meltdown in check.

Those who are frustrated and trapped and killing somebody seemed the best option but just do not have the right state of mind.

Those whom in the ugly face of violence, are still fighting for their right to freedom of choice.

Freedom for a right to live equally because, life has dealt them a hard hand. A right to be who they dream to be.

Those that are being mistaken for their tears as mere weakness.

Those that have lost their spirit to fight but are hoping-still.
Those who are in their lowest now but still faithful and pressing on despite everything.

Those that feel the need to cry but had to smile instead.
Those who live within their means but wish there could have been more or be more because of another brother, sister, relative in need.

Those who put every one elses need ahead of their own.

Lest we forget, you are remembered today.

Look lady, do I look bovver'd it's botched?
You wanted bespoke and that’s just what you got.  
I alreddy told ya, I’m chock-a-block with jobs,
so this the best of a very bad job.

Now, fair enough, it might look bog standard,
but you must remember, it was already cack-‘anded,
so I'd thank you for shutting your gob
with all your talk of you bein' robbed.  

Look, your ladyship, you might well be miffed,
but I’m sure you can make do with a little skew-wiffed,
so ‘and over the readies and make it swift -
I’ll walk away and we’ll call it quits.  

You know me and my rep round this manor,
if you don’t cough up I know a right tasty geezer
who will breeze over ‘ere and wrap each of his fingers
round a whole lot more than your French wind-ders.

- That’s a lot better, you’ve got a nice gaff
and I’m sure neither of us want all of the faff
that goes with ‘ard feelings and still ‘arder stares
through broken front wind-ders and costly repairs.

You know what I mean?

In the town they built pubs and bars and clubs
Before they built the houses to cater for the needs
Of the nutcases and hard men and their gals
Who inhabited the place for they were all thirsty
And needed a drink or ten before the next fight
Or before going off to work in the mills
Or digging the canals or making train tracks
They were a bunch of hard bar stewards
Who you never ever messed with unless
You were one of them and of equal hardness
Cut form the same cloth and millstone grit
Quite unlike any other men in any other town
Simply the hardest and least girly of any men
They proudly lived in Bar Steward Town
And wrote the history books on being hard
Do you dare face them?

You never said anything
because it was him.

He was the one
all of the other girls
dreamed of.

He had the kind smile and the curly hair
and you had drank too much and you had been reckless
and you had acted like you wanted it.

"You'll ruin him,"
they said.
He was good kid.
He had a good future.
He had plans.
What about him?

What about his finger tips
that left bruises across my hipbones?
Or the way he shoved his tongue
down my throat?
What about all the other girls before me?
And the girls after?

What about me?

So you keep your mouth shut.
You listen to your friends
talk about him in passing.

And you never say anything.
Because he is him
and you are you.

Men will never feel how much heartache your sisters can bring to you. They will never know how much hope and despair that can fit into your softly chosen words, the ones you balanced on knife edges to find. They will never have to turn themselves inside out in order to do so, they will never even have to find them. And they will never grasp how fully your life can stop as she refuses to look you in the eyes.

Men will never have to learn the sinking feeling of emptiness as you realize you couldn't help after all. Not this time either. And they will never experience how much this will break your heart.

No, men will never understand the true meaning of the ultimate words "I've just talked to him and he's really sorry. We're gonna try again".