Honestly,
what do you make of me?
is there even anything there?
there are barriers
put in place
between you
and i
i cannot express myself to you
for if i did
i'm afraid
you would find me utterly insane,
deranged,
Pained;
nothing else matters.
hell,
what matters? but nothing.
the ultimate goal,
a final destination.
So cold.

Oh what a shame

My mom is a ****
My dad does *******

My brother hates me
I have no friends

Help me, Help me

Scars hidden deep
I want a cigarette

I can't sleep

Words unspoken
Too many secrets

My life is broken

Family of lies
Everything I hate

Oh why, oh why

Trapped at home
With monsters

I'm so alone

Is love even real
Life seems empty

I can't even feel

I'm so lonely
I want to escape

If only, If only
It wasn't my fault

There's a reason I notice your name where I never thought it belonged before, and I don't think my heart can project my feelings where I set my eyes to look because if it could it wouldn't jump so hard and fast at the slightest vocalizing of your name. I try to shut that book like I violently slam the door shut on any negative thought of you. I've never seen signs like this before, it's almost as if they were flashing neon lights that were actually important to someone.
No.
Not someone.

Me.

When I was a kid
I wanted to do what my father did
I followed him around to see what he saw
And man, I'd seen it all
He took me to where the fights were fought
Over who had shade and who did not
"Those filthy tree sitters!" He'd say
"One day they will pay!"
So my dad and his men went on a scary parade
And the tree people were very afraid
And were told "in case we fight you, we'll give you grenades!"
Back to town my people went
And to the citizens stories of grenade tree people were sent
In the streets they screamed "War! We must be protected!"
For now the tree people were rejected
Back we were to the place where the fights were fought
Guess who has shade, and who does not?

They were masked
with obedience of terrorism on their lips
shoot people mercilessly
played with their souls
in their eyes, no sign of remorse
that dreaded night
when Mumbai cried rivers of blood
death toll increasing with the politicians giving zero *****
ten men killed approx 164
so many injured
so many scarred
lest we forget them from our hearts
martyrs left a legacy
they were many other than Salaskar, Kamte and Unnikrishnan
They played with blood in
Taj, Oberoi, Cama Hospital, Nariman House, CST and Leopold Café
their minds were moulded to be like this.
the innocent tried to hide in hotel lobbies
she watched her husband die
and then she died a silent death
they shot her unborn child
they ignored the infant's cry
they killed humanity
they came with guns
tied their hostages to a pole
and had fun.
The bomb exploded
shattering all their body parts
nothing but chunks of human flesh here and there
the innocent hid themselves in a room
took up the phone and fumbled words
they found the innocent
and...nothing.
the phone line went dead
6 years later,
we still can't forget

The blows wash over me, if you think  my stares are acid wait till you hear my fire, words that burns with the spurs of hell
You have closed the loving hands I was given by my mother, feel my hardened knuckles
See the rage tear apart the face that reminds you of a lost memory, the tears remind you if head on collisions

Color blind to deception
Color blind to destruction

Seen is the fires
Seen is the desires

Bent on amends
Bent on revenge

Indicted by our mind
Indicted by our kind

Protest in the street
Protest in the heat

Tears streams down
Tears streams abound

Violence is unjust
Violence is not a must

Hearts must mend
Hearts must not bend

Stronger we must pray
Stronger we must stay

There quiet you lay
Body cold as wintered day
Hurting in silence
Subject to violence
Waiting for the coming of May.