With clockwork precision
You made your incision
You planned with perfection
All of your deception
You never wavered in your disguise
That made for my immanent demise

You played the part of victim
But it was my heart that was missing
You must have a gift
You were so sweet, but swift
With a flick of your wrist
My heart from my chest was dismissed

But you insisted
You didn't leave me bent or twisted
You didn't break or shatter
What really mattered
You said "I didn't leave your heart broken
I took it as a token"

You placed my heart among the rest
It was quite a collection you possessed
****** and still pumping, they sat on your shelf
They were all for you, nobody else

For I found out to late
My feelings would abate
For you let them lay and stagnate
Because what was beneath your breastplate
Was an empty chasm
The depths of which I couldn't even fathom

I guess you took them to fill your own void
I supposed thats why with others you toyed
Maybe you thought with enough hearts
It might be like it was for you in the start
You would feel something more than dread
But look how many you left as the walking dead

It didn't matter how many heartless victims you left in your wake
It was always about you, for Heaven sake
After all you was the victim
With heartlessness and hatred you were stricken
Now you spread like a disease
Just to bring the world to it's knees
One heart at a time
For you, love is the crime

I was more than this

More than the sieved shelled
husk in a hallway
Waiting for relatives to
scavenge fragmented
memories

More than the salted sinner
deserving of slaughter
Further than the fear in
my shivers as I stared down
a bullet; and lost.

More than just a media martyr
A way to sell papers
A symbol of massacre
Emotional wankery; societies comfort

That isn't me

I am more than just bravery
I am not merely someone's
More than a parent
More than a child
More than a hero
More than a minute of silence

I was my own.

A scribble;
Hobbies, Quirks, Tics,
Snarks, Anger, Laughter, Tragedy,
Sexuality, Inside Jokes,
Embarassment

I was secrets, that no-one else will
ever know.
I am secrets locked inside a rotting mass
I am forgotten; because I can no longer remember.

A stockpile of emotion,
reduced to a photo,
and the title of 'victim'
'hero'
'martyr'
'missed'

Today I am 2D
Today I 'RIP' Remembered

Tomorrow, I hope to be real
and forgotten

Tomorrow, I hope to have
**lived

did you ever see his face
as he took your innocence away
did you ever look into evil's eyes
did you play the devil's games
did you try to **** yourself
when it was all over
because the blood wouldn't wash from your thighs
did you scream into your pillow at night
so no one heard your cries
did you watch your world go up in fire that retracted your soul in smoke
did you mask the pain with the blade of change just so you could cope
did you feel like you just might not make it
did you wonder how much longer you could take it
did you wonder how people could say that you faked it
did you ever wonder why you

did it happen to you?

I know a few things about pain.
Sticks and stones, you know that one,
you know what else hurts?
Being powerless.
Being at the mercy of someone you don't know.
Having a complete stranger put you in a situation
that you can't deal with
that you can't do anything to stop
that all you can do is to pick up the pieces.
To be a victim.


What you don't know can't **** you.
At least, in this case, it can't.
There is something that I know
that I know you don't know
(I hope you don't know)
because knowing this thing that I know
is killing me.
That hurts, but what hurts more
is being separated from everybody by knowing
because you don't want anybody else to feel this pain
and you know there is no escape from this burden anymore
but you hope that there is
but the burden reminds you
(I have to omit this line, or I will be giving you the burden to carry)
(****)
(I am using this website to show you I feel)
(because knowing that you know how I feel is a comfort)
(I am only human after all)

You're just a ****** victim
But you can't convict him
For breaking a heart that was untrue
When you were silent then
He never came back again
And all he ever blamed was you

It seems you're the bleeding heart
That he tore apart
But you found your way to another
And when it's all said and done
You are the only one
Crying over a departed lover

I'm sorry this world became so unsafe,
that you are now in an indefinite sleep,
that by evil you were strafed,
that your family and friends will weep and weep.

You always put a smile on your family's face,
no matter how sad each one of them was,
You are someone they can never replace,
the laughter lines on their faces? You were the cause.

The day that you were shot and slipped away,
Your mum broke down completely and was in absolute shock.
Your parents wept and thought of you every minute of the day,
you didn't deserve this end - they wish they could turn back the clock.

You should have been getting married,
but now you are in Heaven above.
Now in a casket you shall be carried
and they will cry for you again and release a dove.

I promise now your spirit is free,
and I promise that you won't really be gone
as you will live on inside of your family,
and for your justice they will keep fighting on.

There is something I should tell you
Something you may know
You see, I have this problem
It formed a long time ago
It started when I was 10
A little chubby, a little reserved
I was a victim and a target
I got what I never deserved
With the few friends I had
We started growing apart
For little did they know
I needed a new start
I was done with the torture
The rejection, so I changed
If only I could have seen
This idea was deranged
I starved myself of the food
That caused me so much pain
Little did I know
That things would not change
They still looked at me the same
As a helpless little toy
That they loved to play with
That they had to destroy
Hidding in a skeleton
Was the mess that was made
I lost all hope
I could not be saved
My worst fear was people
For they caused me so much doubt
That I felt the urge to leave
I had to get out
I don't want to grow up anymore
I never expected it to turn out like this
Why does everyone want to hurt me?
Is this what living is?
So many times I have tried
To be more optimistic
But everywhere I go
The people are horrific
He used her, he got me
He cheated and lied
He is in jail
For things he couldn't hide
She hurt me, she was fake
Once she was my only friend
Now she's gone and
Our friendship has met its end
I loved him, he didn't love me
I guess I should have known
His heart belongs to her
And he has her own
Eating makes me sick
I don't get very much sleep
I can't take this any longer
I have fallen way to steep
"I can't drowned my demons
They know how to swim"
My demons are the people
And I have let them win
This problem I am talking about
Not many can suggest
But since I was the age of 10
I have felt depressed

Oh! What a place to be at
Witnessing a helpless victim of these rats
The girl is fighting back, to retained her pureness
Shouting, asking for mercy, but it’s all useless

If only a woman like me, could lend a hand in order for her to escape
To get away with the nightmare she’s at right now, this gang ****
Too late now, those rats found the hole
Eating every pleasure from her pity soul

After the relishment that the poor body gave
As fast as the symbol of death, the master rat hand wave
Two gunshots, two bullets buried into her head
Oh my! The poor girl now is totally dead

They are now dragging her body not so far
I hope she won’t turned like me, that she’ll find her way up in the star
Into the ground they started digging a cave
Now, they are placing her remains,  near to my very grave


10/24/2015

Mysterious Aries

GISING!*
mainit na kape
natutumbang mga mata
nanghihinang katawan
isip ko'y nawawala
isang tinik ng ingay
agad ng napatingin
sa gawing banda roon
anong takot sa dilim
balik tayo sa mga salitang
mala-linya na ang ukit
sa utak kong sabaw
lahat sa paningin na'y marikit
maski nag-iisang ilaw
nagmumukha ng tutubi
pagkat sa pagdating ng bukas
bawal ang magkamali
ilang pahina nalang
kaya't konti pang tiis
minimithing tagumpay
aking makakamit
kaya't higop pa ng kape
puta*, dila ko pa'y nasunog
dasal na lamang ang katapat
maliban sa luha at uhog
kakayanin, kakayanin
hindi nais magtagal
habang sila'y nagsasaya
narito kang nag-aaral
kung ayaw **** maiwan
sa kwartong maputi
kasama ng demonyo
gisingin ang sarili
walang alay na magaganap
hindi maaaring ipabahala
bawal tayong magtawag
diyos-diyosan dito sa lupa
itong mga matang
bumibitaw, bumibitaw
sa gabing ito, walang susuko
maski budhi ko na'y sabaw