I still can't sleep
I've piled up pillows and blankets
And am now resting upright
Against a large pile of soft things.

I have written about my grief
Now that has been addressed
But there is another feeling
That has been draining my capacitors.

I feel a lot of love
I feel love immensely.
I feel love for every living thing that has ever existed
And I am grateful to each thing
For enriching my life
And contributing to the amazing thing
That is me.

I can barely contain my love
I want to declare my love
On every mountain
Every minute of every day
It's too much

I know lots of people who I love
Who don't like to know that I love them
And that hurts
But it's okay
Because really
All I want
Is for each thing that I love
To have something good
That makes their lives fuller

That would be the most perfect gift to me.

I am having difficulty sleeping.
I have an upset tummy
And there is some emotional turmoil in my head.
I wish you all very nice dreams and
Cuddles with your loved ones
I want you to have something good
That makes your life fuller.

I always feel so much.
I am always feeling
And I can't deal with it all at once.
So I put up barriers in my mind
To block those feelings off
And let me deal with them later.

Those barriers used to be a lot sturdier
But since some events in September of 2017
They have been very easy to break down.
That is how I want it.

Mostly I am feeling grief.
I grieve a lot of things
I grieve every loss
Every grievance
That has ever left someone with less
That has ever left someone with hurt

I have been told not to grieve so much
For things that are not in my life.
For things that are out of my control
But I cannot stop feeling.
I don't want to stop feeling
And I grieve all these things because
They leave me with less
And they leave me with hurt.

I don't know if anyone
will ever know
how much I care about them
no matter who it is

nobody knows why I care
why I want them to care
about each other
and I don't know why they can't

I care because I can't not
it is a matter of life and death

I hope you don't find out
I don't know if you would survive it

I looked up and saw someone
and she pointed at something in the distance.
I couldn't peel my eyes off of her.
I pulled on her hand
but she only pointed.
So I looked
and now I want to stand
but I need a little help.

I want to tell you about my day
the feelings that hurt me so bad
until I finally sorted them out.
But the more I tell you
the more it will hurt when you reject me
for whatever reason
because you will be rejecting everything I have confided in you.

So I want to start by telling you
that I want to be closer to you
I want you to be able to confide in me.
I want to know what you care about
I want to know how I can help when you are having anxiety
I want to know you before I tell you about my day.

everything is covered with thorns
nothing is good
that is what I see

what changed?
now that my last delusion is being torn from me
do I see it clearer,
or is it painted with my despair?
which is right?

when does it end?

I think I have come up with a solution
to the dilemma I described in another recent poem.
It is a path I always knew was available to me
but I did not know how to start upon it.
I am happy that it has remained open.

What is knowledge if it is not acted upon?
I will now reveal my most painful thought,
the burden I have been ******* about,
because we need to do something about it.
not just sit idly by as it destroys everything we know.

My secret is a spoiler.
The spoiler.
The ultimate spoiler.
The end of the universe.
"the heat death of the universe"
google it, and see.

This is really hard for me, saying this,
especially knowing that someone really cool may read it
and suffer as I have.
Please don't let it get you down.
although, I'm sure you won't.

But I have written so much already
and I haven't given what the title has promised.
The Solution is to construct a foundation
upon which future generations
of scientists,
inventors,
innovators,
and all of humankind
can build upon
so as to not only avert this terrible disaster
but to delve ever deeper into the vast reality we are born to