Why do I feel so sad?
Each time I turn over
I physically, feel more bad.
Once I get over it
and think I'm alright...
the next day comes.
Then I'm up all night.

I'm too much and not enough,
I'm nothing and I'm everything,
I sleep too little, wake too late,
And I dream too much, want too much, feel too much...
Or nothing at all.
I talk too much and I breathe too fast,
I can't take everything in as quickly as I should,
And I get attacked so fast,
It's like a fury , fresh,  fierce.
I am scarred by the sinews that bind me
And I am scared of
Myself.

i continue to update this page
to exclaim to something or someone
how i'm feeling,
whether it be about him, her or me...
depression, love or feeling happy...
sometimes i need an outlet.
without one, i can become tragic.

diagnosed with ADHD?

- feel ******! i cut a close friend off bc of the way she was treating others + me + her general attitude i didnt want to be associated with....but i feel bad for no explanation but i didnt want to make it worse

-love mee!! im so needy! what the ****!

- i have!  like. two friends! and 0 social skills im scared to lose them!

ewwwwwww

Walking in a forest of naked trees, stripped of their leaves too soon, shivering in the wind.
Cold soil beneath my curled toes seeming to pull me under.
Pulling me under to where I wish to be on these frigid days.
Maybe the earth will keep me warm because God knows I feel nothing but chill wind above it.
They tell me the orange bottles with white caps will harden the soil beneath me some days.
Hell some days I even convince myself that I’m actually going somewhere.
What a joke.
But the delusion can’t last for long.
One wrong step and I fall into a hole, deeper than the one before
I keep thinking I hit the lowest one until life goes so low I look up to see hell.
Why do the doctors think locking me up will help me.
Why do the doctor think if they chain me to ceiling the ground will stop pulling.
Because it ******* doesn’t.
It stretches you.
It pulls you.
It yanks your body, your mind, in a thousand directions.
All while they tell you to focus on them.
They put a mirror in front of your ******* face.
Reminding you that you won’t ever be normal.
Look at your skin. Scars make you a warrior right?
Well why am I never a veteran
I’m a soldier every day
In a constant battle
With naked trees surrounding me
Making the cold soil beneath me
Seem warmer and warmer with each day

Excuse me sir,
Please enlighten me
Why is it that when I don’t find your **** joke funny
It means I have a ‘bad sense of humor’
But you don’t have a bad sense of morality?
Excuse me sir,
Please educate me
Why is it that when a white man ***** an unconscious woman,
He only got three months in jail?
Because he was ‘a good athlete’
Excuse me sir,
Please ask me
Why I need my feminism
I need feminism,
because ‘boys will be boys’ is being used to justify ****
Because if I decide I want to wear short shorts,
Or heels,
Or even red lipstick-
I am ‘asking for it’
Because if I am tipsy or unconscious,
I am ‘asking’ for you to take over my body
‘Asking’ you to violate me in the worst way you could
Because **** is being justified.
Boys will not ‘be boys’
Boys will be held accountable for their actions-
Just like everyone else
So Excuse me sir,
Don’t tell me **** jokes,
Don’t tell me how Brock is a good athlete,
Don’t tell me that I was asking for it,
Don’t tell me that I should ‘consider myself lucky’,
Or that I should have enjoyed it
Don’t **** shame me,
Don’t tell me it’s not a big deal,
Don’t belittle ****.
It can happen to boys,
It can happen to girls,
And everyone in between
It can happen to you,
Or to someone you love
Excuse me sir,
Please
Don’t justify ****

when I get there,
Can we drive somewhere?
I want to feel your hand on mine
As we disappear down the road
To somewhere we'll be unknown
We can listen to cheesy songs through the radio
And be together for a while.
I'd like that right now.

Been feelin dead
Little pieces of light
Fade everday, I think
That I'll be dying
By my own hand
Or by another
All this hate taking aim
I painted myself the target
Speaking for the voiceless
The oppressed, who are mocked
Too sensitive, cry babies, get over it
Run some dirt in those wounds...
Ahh but to be one of us, surely you
Could never understand. With egos so
Fragile, you fall apart when privleges
You so firmly deny are threated.
I'm not long for this place, this space
This mental state, this cultural
Holocaust. I'll see my way out,
Thats a guarantee.