Sitting next to me, a ghost
Playing with your phone
I watch as you are scrolling
Through Tinder once again

And I know, I should let you go
In that moment, alone my heart
Whispers how lonely I feel
That I grasp my hands together

To feel some support
I scroll through all your fake promises
Flipping through my brain
Every memory of I love you

You were whispering
In someone else’s DMs
While telling me everything
I wanted to hear

To keep me sitting here, alone
A partner to your ghost
As it stitches your name
Deeper into my heart

Plunging the needle deeper and deeper
Until it grinds against bone
To remind me of this cage I built myself
In this one-way love affair

Every compliment followed with a goodbye
And you take me for granted
Whenever you meet up with her
Making my heart the fool once again

To keep me wanting you here, alone
A hostage to your ghost
As it rips apart my seams
Until my heart screams out your name

I wonder if I spoke a ghost
You would hear me
Over the clattering of keys
And grumbling of your greed

I take for granted your warmth
Tucked into fake promises
You dress everything up
In a few pleasing words

To keep my heart vying, alone
A fool to your ghost
Leaving me to piece myself back together
Slowly sewing each scar with care

I can’t help but wish
I had tattooed your name upon my feet
Then maybe
I could walk away

Standing on the shore
of this big wide sea
Looking at the horizon
as far as the eyes can see
All my life in front of me
Little ripple waves
Big foaming thunder storm
I stand there facing all
Shakingly cold
watching lightning touch down under
Standing there await
other  days of wonder
while the storm has gone
and the sun goes under.

Shell ✨🐚

no more guesses
not another assumption
you tell me what's on your mind
let me know what you need to function
but i just can't grasp at straws any longer
you let me know
when you're feeling stronger

So here I am
Crawling on my hands and feet
With all I have to offer,

Smiling on the outside
Screaming on the inside
And there
                 you
                         go
                             Running
                                            along
            wi­th all the things you want instead
Smile, I tell myself
    Just smile
And one day you'll jog up to them.

there is no clear transition,
not one i noticed anyway
triggers caused at eighteen are not the same
as the triggers at twenty four
I don’t know if that’s better

when will I get over the need to make something of myself?

what i want is only a collection
of what reflects back to me
as i find my purpose in being alive.
you can only do so much with the resources
you are born into

I do not have enough to be free

And then I open my eyes
yet another misty morning,
half a year has passed by
but my heart is still yearning,
with the passing of each night
there's always a fairytale dream,
never will it make me vulnerable
even the bravest yearn,
silently we all make a wish
to the moonbeam
for nothing's ever enough.
It's hard to put into words
a dream that doesn't change,
just that it's always a different place
yet a part of it tends to stay,
from your tiny black eyelash
to the enormous warmth
of your being,
in the thick of it all is me
standing there looking at you
what else can I say,
And then I open my eyes
yet another misty morning,
half a year has passed by
but my heart is still yearning.

- diljeev