The music blares
And I'm stuck between bodies
Pasted together from all the perspiration,
That's when I burn from your stare

Enveloped by blue seriousness
And the crease of your frown,
You want to smile,
And something in me
Is convinced of your earnestness

I peep back with a little bit of uncertainty,
A little bit of desire

Why would you need to peer at me?

An eon of futuristic images shine in my eyes,
It's so easy to see happiness,
To feel warmth
To smell coffee next to you in the morning

But I know you don't deserve me...

You deserve more than ill health,
More than self-pity,
More than anxious worrying

So that's why
When the music blares
And I'm stuck between bodies
Pasted together from all the perspiration,
And I burn from your stare,
That I never look at you
Because I know you should save your stares for someone who you might appreciate more.

As if walking down a dark staircase,
  every step forward gives way to uncertainty.
Downward, tripping upon my thoughts
  feeling less, and less likely to feel the sunshine again.

It’s the smell of decay, rotted souls, & tortured hearts
  smothered dreams, forgotten hopes, among all the lies.
Broken hearts left in its wake, like the skulls upon Golgotha,
  condemned for their crimes.

That darkened staircase has become damped by tears,
  fear as taken over, with its siren-like call into the unknown.
Crashing like waves, an undertow of raw emotions,
  my demise now bellows from the locker below.

I’ve created this fable, where the plot twist is all to real
  only to assume its identity in ghostly winds.
Loneliness, my old friend
  my true undoing.

Sun rises and falls, day after day, It does not change
  so will it ever get better with the dawn?
Do the monsters I've brought to be, ever vanish into the darkness, forever?
  For I know I’m not alone, no matter how I feel.

HE walks along side me lovingly, waiting for my less than faithful cries.
  Unconditional, Unconventional, Unrelenting Love
No matter my feebleness, my flaws, my imperfect human form,
   Forever will HE make good on his promises to me.

Underneath my skin, in a corridor of void occupation
I am blindfolded, threaded along the tracks of my mind for yet another time.
Blisslessly awake, and I wanted to disclose to you;

   It's felt like days since I knew you.

Never took you in to be a collection of pages, raveled with things gone unspoken.
I was always so curious of you and the letterings scripted across you
and I'm sorry that at the time, my eyes were so weary
lacking a voice of clarity, to speak to you with the words that you've so deserved.

the pictures in your eyes were something that always sent me to another place entirely,
sailing alongside you, a snowglobe that had passed through to the summers.
You, just as those golden linings in the clouds saw it fit to decorate my memories, your reveries
always evoking me towards a warmth that I held so dearly.

I never noticed that you were thorned, just as I.
And so things went amiss quite fast, just as they came
Hesitating too much to let myself fall forwards, together with you,
sense veiled with all the things that were tethered to my spirit.
Living in between the sobriety of this circumstance and the fingerprints that were left behind.
within the tides

   it had felt like I'd known you.

Swimming, while we dreamt of flying together. To the moon and back.
Later do I remember the horizon, the water below me gleaming, beaming down to the things I thought I'd known.
but by then, all that I had besides me were those obscured stars
and I realised that the sky wasn't all that bright without you,

   and it had been forever since I knew you.

The elapse of time, evading these clocks of mine.
Little porclain angels whispering to me from afar,
without a trace of my voice remaining.
As those pages of yours go on without me,
As the blossums continue to fall for you,
in the distance


And I didn't know,
how someone like me
could ever know
someone like you.

I sit here in the dark,
     the emptiness that
     envelopes me.
                         There is but one question,
                                  one meaning and purpose,
                                  one that I can't fathom.
          Through my life, this simple,
                   inadequate life
                   there are things I've done.
                                                 I've hurt people, torment,
                                                           through my explosion of
                                                            expr­ession, Anger... Silence
               I know I've hurt you,
                         as painful as that is
                         to reflect.
  Yet, through it all,
          you're still here,
          withstand, ever present.
      No matter what explosion,
               what outburst I apply,
                here you are... Why.
                                                            ­        You say it's out of love,
                                                           ­                    you say that no matter,
                                                         ­                      no matter what... Love
                                          I've pushed, I've prodded,
                                                     pushing buttons, breaking barriers,
                                                     when I shouldn't...
                                               I don't mean to hurt you,
                                                      I never do, I never did,
                                                      But still you comfort... calm.
                        No matter the pain,
                                 the pain that I've caused,
                                 here you are, caring, loving.
                                                         ­     I know that you could do better,
                                                         ­         better than what I offer
                                                           ­       a seemingly endless barrage..
   Why? Why do you stay,
               stay in the place of endless,
               endless pain... Why?
                                               Is this the love everyone speaks of,
                                                       if so, why am I,
                                                       why am I so ashamed, undeserving.
                          I try to push you away,
                                  because I know I...
                                  I hurt you, yet you stay.
                                      I love you, but I don't,
                                             I don't want you to hurt,
                                             not anymore, let me leave... Please
But no, you won't let me,
         you continue to love,
         a love that is so... undeserving.
   You've done so much,
               so much love, but why...
               why do you put yourself... in pain?
                                                 I don't think that I can,
                                                            ­I don't think that I can
                                                            e­ver make you happy, ever again
                                      Yet you smile, a smile so
                                                    full of love, patience
                                                    an understanding that I can't accept.
         I ponder and I question,
                   no matter how I drag it out...
                   Why are you still here?... here with me...
-Navahopi119