The smile that reached my eyes doesn't feel as genuine as I’d like,
When I always catch myself trying hard not to die inside.
Effort was made though the situation was far from fine,
One look wouldn't tell; a day spent could always lie.
Nothing would ever make anyone believe, the chaos I held,
Right here, inside my spacious but confined—
Witty yet always tired, sweet, fragile little mind.

~
First God
Then Everest
To the ends of elation

Her eyes in sunflare
An imprint from her light
Heavy and pulling me
The ever after of the hereafter

In that moment I was hesitant
~

Adding blocks to the walls all around me
Standing in a growing tower
Continuing to fear as the drop grows more severe

You made a ladder to help me down
Each step was thought uncertain
Until you gave me your hand too

An ocean of tears turns into a river
Still turbulent but with direction
An emotional title wave takes me over

My bones are young. They know this land. They were created, formed, and tendered in this land, but my blood. She is ancient. My blood speaks of my ancestors. She cries out from injustice. From pain and suffering. Her strength is unmeasured. My blood demands justice. Her power building, supported by my mothers and my grandmothers. We will not let you destroy us.

abraded sky  scabbed
      by winter fluctuation
much uncertainty

Life,
built and driven by dreams,
compelled by needs,
conquered through opportunity,
sustained by dedication,
longed for by desire.

Desire, which drives dreams,
with the folly of burying them
in the present routine
and in superior external decisions.

This partner desire, divided,
by indecision and power,
by wanting and duty:
yields and withers.

Surrendering to destiny and fate,
woven into the horizon,
blind to the present,
credited to the past,
premises of the future,
entangled in possibilities
irreverent to the central,
present, and adjacent conditions:
of life, like metamorphosis,
mutable, unavoidable, and relentless.

Faced with assumptions and
eventualities,
is what’s meant to be, to be?
Perhaps, in the undulations of the search
for the fleeting existence.

I stood by the shore,
Watching the waves pass through,
feeling its currents go against my feet.
The force was strong.
The water was cold.
My toes gripped firmly to the sand.
I could not move forward.
I did not want to move forward.
If it's this much here,
it must be worse there.
Little did I know that,
what lies ahead is better.
For as you go deeper,
water embraces more of your parts--
your body adapts to its temperature.
And there, the waves once so intimidating are calm.