I always lived in the moment, got lost in it.
 I didn’t think of the future,
 I got lost in your eyes.
Hypnotized by them,
By your voice, your laugh,
 Now you’re gone because “it wasn’t going anywhere.”
 I cried for days, for nights.
 The sight of you brings an ache to my heart.
 I was truly lost in this world
 And trapped inside my dangerous thoughts
 That you always made me forget.
 Now I can’t stop thinking.
 Your smile that warmed my heart.
 Your laugh that made me feel alive.
 Your light brown eyes
 That sometimes magically changed color.
 Their happiness.
 Thinking of how happy you are with her.
 At least that’s what I’m told.
How you don’t know
 The pain I feel for you.
How you don’t care if I see the light.
Thinking of how you don’t care.
 Thinking of the memories you threw away
 And how I picked them out of the trash,
 Too afraid to let them go.

It's all just cause and effect,
Protect and reject
Detect and defect,
Discard and collect

Trust in the trash,
Liars mix and match
Selling you the shady ****
That destroys every pact

Getting luck from a draw
The Irish in me is called
As my number is pulled
Adrenaline is pulled forth

But here is my call,
The Misfortunate fall
Around me stands doors
And all lead to closed corridors....

Old words are meant to be thrown away
they're like snake venom throughout your body
all the old, faded words you wished

were never written

I'm glad someone stole my old journal full of poems
because I am a new person now

a new pen writing on a brand new page
the page clings to me, and I to it,
and together we make beautiful new work

talking about the one who makes your heart sing
and the past that has hurt you, but you finally overcame it

that's the thing about old words

they're meant to be thrown away

-m.a.

I make you pancakes in the morning
Strawberries and whip cream
Just like my grandmother used to make
They call me the trash monster

Those tattoos of wings on your shoulders?
Those were the first two tattoos I ever stabbed into a person.
You were my first.

Remember I was the one who told you to pluck your eyebrows
How you cringed and refused.
plucked them the same direction
they were growing.
One by one.
So you wouldn't feel pain
I made you beautiful

They call me the trash monster

I paid for your world of Warcraft subscription.
I was at every birthday
your second mother

They call me the trash monster

My face is on national Televsion
Photographs of my living room.
The same one you woke up in every Saturday morning.

You wouldn't even recognise it.
Hidden beneath all of this spilt hourglass sand

So much between us now.
Prison bars
fast food shrapnel.

They call me the trash monster

A baby boy.
His little sister
Swimming in this filth
My depression hording

Their father left us for a 19 year old who lusted after his motor cycle
joined a gang
sells heroine

Left his autistic son and daughter
Taken now, my everything
From the nest

I was left to clean

They call me the trash monster

This filth
The broken wooden horse
The wax paper backs of sticker sheets.
The McDonald's bags n' grease
Scrapbooking strip cutters.

They call me the trash monster

Did you hear yet?
Do you remember me?
Did you throw me out?

there is a numbness in my bones
while i sit on my worthless throne