You are entangled
In the vines of a 
codependent ****.
It will eventually **** the life
Out of you,
but only because
You allowed it too.

You didn’t need to
put yourself in it’s path
and offer yourself
like a sacrifice in waiting
- But you like the idea that someone else has the power to ruin you in the way you are too scared to do.

You didn’t need to
give your essence over
to something that will devour
anything that moves
- But you don’t believe your worth is more than being somebody else’s emotional feed bank.

You didn’t need to
willingly wait for death
while their vines held you down
and choked on your broken pieces
- But you don’t know how to survive in a world that is not dependant on you fixing it while leaving your damage to die.

You will be consumed
by the toxins
of a carnivorous friend,
and you will sit by and watch
while they burn the world down
around you
and still offer
your bones to be their home.

And they danced and they sang until their legs gave out and their voices croaked,

And they talked with words of love and hatred as their days turned monotone and their eyes grew heavy with sleep,

No one was alone anymore, but everyone felt so alone.

They made wherever they were their home.

And when the sky opened to welcome us again,

We stepped outside, and found our many friends,

Who shared our struggles, and will be with us, until the end.

My days are filled with a sense of nostalgia
for those that haven't happened yet and
longing for days gone by.

Bouyed by an effervescent iridescence
anchored to the shore of
absurd accusations
vital to self-realizations manifesting
into a festering static buzzing
                                                    to
                                                        no
                                                            end.

the walls are transparent, yet so thick.
Let. me .
free.

I am muted,
and subdued.
Let me be
unruly.

I was red,
green,
yellow,
purple,
gold,
now I am grey

Let. me.
shine.

I trap my demons
Make them cower and bleed
In a cage that I made
Sometimes they fight back
Tell me of all the things I did in the past
All of the reasons that I'm
Never going to be good enough
But I pull out my blade
And start slashing away
If anything happened
To the trapper
I would be gone

The trapper sits in my mind
Watching me scream
As the friend
Becomes my enemy
He holds me still
With new found knowledge
And watches as I squirm
Holding me hostage
With his vile words

There was no ransom note
No call for money
Just the trapper
Alone with me
He watches as I twist
And writhe
With the words that spill from his lips
The fog around me
Starts to get thicker
As the words start to get worse
The trapper has kept me here
With his indescribable terms

Inhuman snares
Lie in wait
For my horrible person
And all of my suppressed emotions
Rage, and try to get free
But nothing is free
In the eyes of the trapper
And nothing
Ever will be

All these memories are full;
weighted down by iron bars
that lock and trap.
wrapping chains around me,
but I let them.

Too wild to be tamed,
Too alone to be sane,
but you looked at me
and you smiled-
oh god, you smiled.

Too scared of trying,
not understanding the meaning of family
until you took my hand
and I know what you're doing,
but by some miracle-
by some twisted miracle,
I let you.

You weigh me down now,
long after you're gone.
These chains never rust,
they never loosen.

I let myself be captured by your love.
And I'm still not sure if I regret it or not,
but you taught me how to feel.
And sometimes I wish you hadn't,
because these feeling that are inside me
are far from the malleable, soft thing that I've become.
Far from the person you turned me into.

They are sharp edges
and strong, unyielding walls.
They plunge me into a current
and I don't know how to swim.
So I take it all, floating along
without your guidance.

You taught me these things-
and then you left before you were done.
You've left me to smooth out the edges on my own
but you never taught me how.