I deserve all this pain and torment
Cut my writs and numb my heart
Use the blood to create your art

Cast the stones
Break my bones

Let me choke on my blood
Agonising but deserving death
Loosing each and every breath

Hold a gun to my heart and pull the trigger
Let the bullet flow through me like fish through water
Let this be my ultimate slaughter

Round my neck with a noose
Tighten it and make sure it is not loose

Tie an anchor to my feet and throw me in the ocean
Let my scream not be heard
And my vision be blurred

Lay me on the road and run me over
Let the tyres crush each and every bone
Let my existance become unknown

Throw me into the fiery pits of hell
Let my flesh burn to ash
Then throw the remains in the trash

Throw me out of a plane
And let my life flash before my eyes
Let me remember all the lies
Let me remember all the forgotten cries
Let me remember all the false allies
And as I look at my final sunrise

Let me say...

I deserve it.

-T

I blame you for making me write all these sonnets
I tried to make the best of it, but five?
How in the ******* world am I supposed to write five?
Doesn’t each sonnet take the course of a week?
And it definitely seems that we don’t have five weeks
To write five pristine perfect sonnets
I’d rather read fifty poems than write five of these stupid things
I’d like the meet the man who decided these poems
Had to be fourteen lines, stylized rhymes
I’d say, go to hell with you and this torturous format
Instead of making me write these many poems
All in the same style, all droaning on in my mind
Like an endless treadmill of poem-writing
I say I’ll do better on the next assignment, but truthfully
I’m improvising

White room.
In the centre of it all, an overflowing bathtub, with lilies floating atop.
It's a beautiful, yet, unsettling sight.
The water continues to flow, drawing me in closer.

I cautiously dip my hand in.
The water is cold and ***** me in.
It's a blue place, shrouded in darkness.
Lilies float past me, but I am paralysed where I lay.

I close my eyes and breathe.
It's suffocating.
Where are you?
I'm cold.

When I open my eyes again, I'm in the same white room.
In the centre of it all, a piercing red chair.
It's ominous, but it draws me closer.
I breathe a little easier.

I sit down, my head in my hands.
I close my eyes.
It's hot, I'm sweaty, burning.
I open my eyes to the sight of fire, surrounding me all around.

I hitch my breathing.
It's suffocating.
Where are you?
I'm hot.

I open my eyes one last time.
A black room, with a photo of you.
You're smiling a goofy smile, just like you.
I trace the frame, remembering the past.

This eternal torture isn't too bad.
I get to see you every night.
But when I wake up you will be gone.
And back to torture where I belong.

Disrespect the cause
And I will preach you pain
Even a curtain call
Couldn't end this play
Best get back to
Unattended graves

Something might surprise you

Show me the death stats, and I might go away
Live in the med bay, you'll die sooner, yeah?

For every human, monstrous man
Indict and lifeless
I still love you

Now I don't have much
I don't know how

But, tally the recap, each heads worth the same
Plus two for representation
Plus one for age

For every monster, every fan made
Calamity, monster, die making your own way
Indirectly life affirming
Unconcerned with what you take

I love you

I hear the screams.
Tortured screams of children.

I hear the wind blowing through.
Rattling the un-openable windows.

I stare at the wooden desk.
My torture in progress.

I get a break in fifteen minutes.
I watch the seconds tick by on the clock.

It's freezing in here.
And hailing outside.

There is no hope here.
No hope for the children in school.

Illness.
Disease.
They walk in your life
with no remorse.
No mercy.
You become familiar with the feeling
The feeling of things inside you
Things you patiently await to be removed.
You didn't notice them before,
But now you know
And they torture you from the inside out.

Cooling tides
Air that envelops every last patron in a breathless stagnation
A banquet hall falling beyond the ends of the earth
Below all existence and still here unfounded, surrounded by void
Snow falls slowly around the great hall

Spirits of old and young alike alight into the room
Every inch melded admits a dark, endless night
Crawling down pillars, molten metals and fires
Still race in place like the glow from a hearth

Around a table laden, the hall great only mentioned in fables
Awaits the souls tortured and downtrodden
Years of abuse flying by but
As the clock strikes two we can see the sky's above
Just outside wrought iron windows, snow starts to build

Stone rough and hewn from mountains perverse enough
To harbor the worlds worst, unforgivable
Caringly lit only for the night
It all springs to life
Softly enveloping

From somewhere the notes, hopelessly golden
Begin to play
From corners of recessed and disfigured servants
All alleviated if only for the day

Palpable with every resource loosened
Hope is something we still cannot afford
Despite our differing degrees of punishment
We have resigned to unwind the centuries

Golden

The night is long, the table that decorates
This gilded hall, walls arching overhead
Is never left empty, every moment is filled with a subtle
Empathy, check the time

The seconds are passing, all the more quickly

I see the devil, pacing the halls
Lost among his own thoughts
He sees me and recognizes
We're both in the same place

Alone but not forgotten

On this holy night

And I've found out
It always ends, and every year
Comes and goes

My ever present
Companion
Searing me
Arcing through
My insides
Every day
A new burn
Skin graft patches
Healing
Inch by inch
Pulling me
Into myself
Hunched
Contorted
Askew
Once again
Sideways on the floor.
Cauterize me