I wish I stole something of yours
So you HAD to come back

So I could show you that it’s not me
That’s it’s the timing and the distance

This empty feeling of unknown
And wondering what is worth holding on to
Or when this knot in my throat will one morning be gone

I wish I took something of material
Because it doesn’t mean a thing to you
But for me it means everything

One more time to hear your accent
And play that hard to get routine I have down pack by now
To compare languages, and thoughts, and sayings
That we both know and don’t know
To inspire each other to change our ways of thinking
And to challenge each other
That we do have this connection
And we do have a reason to
Fall harder and deeper
Instead of remain on the surface
And be shallow
like material things

I’ve always believed that we were on the same wavelength,
but never the same tide.
From here I can almost see the sea
with you on the other shore.
Are you reaching out to me? Or is this morning fog too strong?

I glance at you from the other side of the room,
hoping that maybe you are looking back
wondering if I was looking back at you.
My eyes shift down when they’re tangled in your sight.
I wish you’d notice me.

There has only been a few times when you stood close to me.
As I felt the heat radiating off your tall body
a hurricane collided. The tides have crashed.
It feels like lightning running through my veins
then it all stops when you step away.

In little ways you remind me that we belong together
but you don’t see it like I do.
Of course you don’t.
It’s been eight years. By now,
I figure you’d realize it too.

It’s lonely being on this side of the ocean.

Some guy's
Won't realize.
Their word's can **** a woman
Just by the flick of their chatterbox.

Advice. Men always
Watch those nasty poisonous
Words, that slip from your
Nasty mouth's.

I'm not your kindest girl
I'll knock you
Out.

Love is not a contest
It's unlike any congress
In which both parties throw in their two cents
To dismiss a common nuisance
Of who loves who more or even less

Love should be of equal parties
A bond so resilient, bright, and hearty
One body halved and separated
Leaving two figures devastated
Until they find each other's heartbeats

Love should never be about triumphing
It's about two souls intertwining
It's about sharing each others toils
In hopes to knot their mortal coils
And to be blessed by fate and timing

In short, love is too sacred and fragile a view
To argue about who loves who more: me or you.

"It is no longer a question of "Should I stay?" ...but rather, "When should I go?"

For, you see, I no longer crave your attention the way I used to. Nor have you craved mine.

I see they way your eyes glance at me, when you believe I'm no longer looking- eyes with a sharp pain that acknowledges that yes, we have both changed.

And it wasn't when you said, "I want the old you back" that I first realized it- we, had faded away, but rather the first time I caught myself with my eyes open during our kiss.... the first time I said an empty "I love you too."

For I was always taught to be truthful, but in the moment, the lie was so natural, so convenient, that I didn't want to ruin the memories of a perfect something.

How had I not seen this coming?
When should I go?
How could I ever leave this?

These are all questions that will ruin me."

I was going through my drafts when I found this from February of this past year. Isn't it ironic how the tables have turned? Because February turned into August, and now I am begging you to stay as you tell me you have to go-- that you want to leave me.  

And now I'm sitting here wondering how I could have ever written that I couldn't have loved this man, but according to the February me, I was preparing myself for this fall all along.

My heart is hurting since he told me he has not felt anything for a long time. And, apparently, neither had I.

An effect I thought I was impervious to

Butterflies
Uncertainty
Insecurity

My soul lingers on my skin
Like smoke on walls

I'm transparent.

Many men have come with their ice picks
Desperately chipping away at the cold encasing my heart
And here you are

A wildfire.
Restless and tactful
Every scar I have earned
My armor
In ashes.
I'm terrified
vulnerable
And

yours..

he was once a boy
a face in the crowd
which brought me no joy

we talked once or twice
didn't mean a thing
timing not right
I was else where
dreaming of someone else
who didn't want me on their shelf

so this boy whom I didn't feel for
liked me just so much more
but I couldn't see
him so perfectly
for I was looking elsewhere
at one who didn't care

...so this boy told me I was looking in the wrong place
and I couldn't see the beauty in his face
my mind still caught on someone else
I was stupid to not see
who it was that may have been right for me

for the boy that cared
I didn't have those feelings shared
but time went on
I stopped dreaming of the guy that was wrong
and started friending this guy that felt for me

though he had gotten a girlfriend
he became my best friend
and I'm getting close to this boy who once wanted me
but now he's taken
and I sit around crying
about a boy who once felt for me
about a boy who now isn't loving me