After a breakup,
does Love exist in a vacuum of time?

a picture
a song
a feeling
a place
a smell

an undefinable entity.

Does that vacuum exist only in a quantum universe found somewhere parallel to the Heart?
Do we have direct access to the Heart, or merely an understanding of how to enter the melancholy door ?

The Heart never forgets,

only heals and grows
with the highs and lows
does a feeling ever still grow
or simply go
into the black hole of what once was
with the fond bittersweet memories of Love and loss…

Moments in time,
held in a cosmic box,

can we really measure the Love and loss paradox?

Just remember
when the world seems
too big or too small,

YOU are floating
through infinite space
inside a star.

Which someone
across time
and galaxies
wishes upon.

You are an impossible thing.
Like magic.
Anything is possible.

~k.e. Flynn

I grabbed the earth,
The muck and the dirt,
To hold me close,
My heart and mind were hurt,

I grabbed the earth,
I was hoping she would grab me too,
I was free falling into psychosis,
What’s a psychotic mind to do?

I grabbed the earth,
She held me close,
She told me to scream at the top of my lungs,
I screamed so loud the universe found me,

I grabbed the earth,
She held me tight,
Don’t let go she whispered,
Everything was going to be alright.

I grabbed the earth,
Dirt and grit under my nails,
I didn’t let go until it passed,
Psychosis never lasts.

I let go of the earth,
I stood slowly to get my bearings,
The earth had saved me,
The universe and it’s wings.

A knife to the chest I could barely breathe,
You hit me when I was at my weakest,
You knocked me down when I was already on my knees,
I begged you to stop, I even said please,

You slammed my head into the wall,
You didn’t stop til I started to crawl,
Is this what makes you feel like a man?
Leaving a woman unable to stand?

You grabbed me by the shoulders and wouldn’t stop shaking me,
Another argument gone awry,
I gave you a taste of your own medicine,
Then you saw what it’s like to be hit,

I punched you in the face as hard as I could,
You saw stars and nearly blacked out,
I heard my own voice screaming,
“This is what you did to me,”

Pushing and pushing until I snapped,
You ***** me, you hit me, you verbally abused me,
It was about time I fought back,
Like a lion I started to attack,

Then one day I looked in the mirror,
Realizing I too had become an abuser,
You were my poison and much more,
I knew I had to push you out the door.

In the blink of an eye you were gone,
In another relationship immediately,
I knew exactly what you were up to,
When she reached out to me because you ***** her too,

I’ll never have justice for what you did,
What you put me through,
I’ll never know what it’s like to see you behind bars,
Even after all the beatings and scars,

It’s going to be so hard to say this,
But I forgive you for what you did,
I forgive myself for what I’ve done,
I’ve finally learned to put down the gun.
-SC

Space is peaceful.
In space you can float amongst unknown stars.
But, in space, you stand as the open-minded Mars as I, however, caress the dust that are the no longer shining stars.
As another star bursts, so does a small fragment of me.
Though, little by little I wonder closer to your atmosphere.
Eventually, your atmosphere envelopes me.
An attraction develops and now I stand proudly beside the open-minded Mars.
I stand with a purpose and with every fragment lost, now found.
I now shadow you, as the open-minded Deimos; trapped in the warm embrace of your atmosphere.

I look upon the summer night sky
All I see the cosmos awaiting its end
I care not for everything will end
So I will love you for you mean more than the universe to me

I find myself looking for words.
Combinations of feeling
I did not know existed.
I cannot breathe.
I struggle for them
& make myself a fool.
The world was so big before I met you
& now I'm grasping for it,
unable to recall it's delusion
as I am pulled into your orbit.
Out of drifting dreams.
My mind goes blank
& all I can see
is the dark galaxy that is you.
Alien, beautiful & natural.
You haunt me.
I nearly never believed so big,
& you infiltrated this complex defense
to show me what's been missing.
Half crazed by the loneliness of space
I cannot articulate.
Another form of art I hesitate to express.
I do not trust myself
that it will not be perfect,
fluid,
each stroke of the tongue
like the brush fear failure.
I want to show you all I see
beneath the stars.
Let the brilliance of the moon shine through.
But she is stuck.
In the cloud of curious awareness,
my eloquence cripples me.
How many things can I say
before I lose my grace?
& I dread
the company of simple minds
who cannot love stories.
So eager,
your patience holds the hand of the clock.
I want to watch your eyes glow
lit up by the music from my lips,
& I want to be carried off
by all you reminisce.
I can't believe in chance
when a soul like yours comes to court.
Thrice even.
I am challenged by the core of you.
Inquiry.
Things I cannot see
& stopped looking for.
If I take no notice,
I will not be seen.
Drawn into someone else's dreams,
Abandoning me.
I forgot how to identify
with my kind
so that I did not lose me.
Then I rusted over.
The great machine locked away
while the shows went on
in Technicolor.
Introspective
losing passion & luster inside this shell.
How you found me,
only body in forum.
You took me out to play.
Engaged, stalled, oiled & sparked
Life.
I am reminded of a better me.
An affirmation,
of my Dominant heart.
His voice,
the coaxing in my womb to Be.
Away with closed up, dying to shine.
You wanted to show me off,
pretty girl.
I remember being a Goddess
& shattering the abyss around me
with heart & raw warmth.
The fire of honesty.
Unsatiated wander bred in me
& I held nothing back.
Now the world is clay
& my garden to build upon.
Train me to grow.
I am inspired to be stardust.
Permeate every corner of this heavenly body.  
I find myself the eager student of Aquarius.

I have a blue blanket, it looks corduroy but it's synthetic polynesian cotton.
Considered by some to be polyester. After the ninth year of ownership I started
Telling house guests it had always been mine; but secretly knowing it came from my
Ex Kristina who left it with some of her other things in 2005 in my grand deluxe Evanston
Apartment. In like some really awesome way, I could fold the corners together to see little blocks
Of the Universe form cubes in the fourth dimension and gain a better understanding of my own
Little black shmata. Top drawer, white dresser, in the back with the leftover girlfriend underwear between
My first ever stuffed animal dog/rabbit.

Amazing how these thinned and frayed azure threads had held so many midnight conversations Together- maybe fifteen other girls had nuzzled with Kristina's blanket. Last year the guilt set in. You Watch a girlfriend, say, ratchet through your room naked for something soft to put over her to listen to
Some half-stanza from the new Yeats critical and that, do-I-tell-her feeling comes over you. Blue Polyester really had a way with women. My last serious crush, the one of six months, the one from the place that was close to where I worked six days a week, would you believe, she had not interest in that heap of thread, under my pillows spying on us sleep for twenty-four long weeks.

"Drop in the bucket" the sixty-year-olds say. I say, bring me my ******* fourth dimension blocks and cubes *******. I want to visit the existential, I want to experience the hoo-ra and Ga-Ga those kids throw around on Milwaukee waiting for $150 NBA slippers.

Wednesday is my day for telling the truth.
2:00p.m. sitting in the front of her alizarin El Dorado.
"I have something I have to tell you,"  I said, my mouth practically filled with marbles as I barely could Utter the words: it's not going to work out.