I have a blue blanket, it looks corduroy but it's synthetic polynesian cotton. Considered by some to be polyester. After the ninth year of ownership I started Telling house guests it had always been mine; but secretly knowing it came from my Ex Kristina who left it with some of her other things in 2005 in my grand deluxe Evanston Apartment. In like some really awesome way, I could fold the corners together to see little blocks Of the Universe form cubes in the fourth dimension and gain a better understanding of my own Little black shmata. Top drawer, white dresser, in the back with the leftover girlfriend underwear between My first ever stuffed animal dog/rabbit.
Amazing how these thinned and frayed azure threads had held so many midnight conversations Together- maybe fifteen other girls had nuzzled with Kristina's blanket. Last year the guilt set in. You Watch a girlfriend, say, ratchet through your room naked for something soft to put over her to listen to Some half-stanza from the new Yeats critical and that, do-I-tell-her feeling comes over you. Blue Polyester really had a way with women. My last serious crush, the one of six months, the one from the place that was close to where I worked six days a week, would you believe, she had not interest in that heap of thread, under my pillows spying on us sleep for twenty-four long weeks.
"Drop in the bucket" the sixty-year-olds say. I say, bring me my ******* fourth dimension blocks and cubes *******. I want to visit the existential, I want to experience the hoo-ra and Ga-Ga those kids throw around on Milwaukee waiting for $150 NBA slippers.
Wednesday is my day for telling the truth. 2:00p.m. sitting in the front of her alizarin El Dorado. "I have something I have to tell you," I said, my mouth practically filled with marbles as I barely could Utter the words: it's not going to work out.