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Sarah Chapa Dec 2019
I grabbed the earth,
The muck and the dirt,
To hold me close,
My heart and mind were hurt,

I grabbed the earth,
I was hoping she would grab me too,
I was free falling into psychosis,
What’s a psychotic mind to do?

I grabbed the earth,
She held me close,
She told me to scream at the top of my lungs,
I screamed so loud the universe found me,

I grabbed the earth,
She held me tight,
Don’t let go she whispered,
Everything was going to be alright.

I grabbed the earth,
Dirt and grit under my nails,
I didn’t let go until it passed,
Psychosis never lasts.

I let go of the earth,
I stood slowly to get my bearings,
The earth had saved me,
The universe and it’s wings.
Sarah Chapa Dec 2019
A knife to the chest I could barely breathe,
You hit me when I was at my weakest,
You knocked me down when I was already on my knees,
I begged you to stop, I even said please,

You slammed my head into the wall,
You didn’t stop til I started to crawl,
Is this what makes you feel like a man?
Leaving a woman unable to stand?

You grabbed me by the shoulders and wouldn’t stop shaking me,
Another argument gone awry,
I gave you a taste of your own medicine,
Then you saw what it’s like to be hit,

I punched you in the face as hard as I could,
You saw stars and nearly blacked out,
I heard my own voice screaming,
“This is what you did to me,”

Pushing and pushing until I snapped,
You ***** me, you hit me, you verbally abused me,
It was about time I fought back,
Like a lion I started to attack,

Then one day I looked in the mirror,
Realizing I too had become an abuser,
You were my poison and much more,
I knew I had to push you out the door.

In the blink of an eye you were gone,
In another relationship immediately,
I knew exactly what you were up to,
When she reached out to me because you ***** her too,

I’ll never have justice for what you did,
What you put me through,
I’ll never know what it’s like to see you behind bars,
Even after all the beatings and scars,

It’s going to be so hard to say this,
But I forgive you for what you did,
I forgive myself for what I’ve done,
I’ve finally learned to put down the gun.
-SC

— The End —