I have a secret, don't you ever share it
I have a secret and I can barely bare it
I don't say it out loud
Don't let it whisper from your lips
Don't let it slip
Don't let it fall like the rain you set fire to
Don't have it leave like the person who abandoned you
Don't even think it
Don't even blink those tears into existence
Don't do anything
Just like society does everything

I wish I could tell you
Every little thing
I think in my head
But I can't because
They move too fast,
Are too slippery to grasp
And hold onto long enough
To write into lyrical thoughts
Worthy of your time.

I've been laying in my bed for quite some time now, and as usual I've been thinking. But this time it's different. It's not the happy thinking you'd think I was thinking. But it's the dark thinking that follows me like a shadow. I would never tell you this.
Just like I'd never tell you how I think about the nights we've spent together. Or that I'd never tell you I can't go to those restaurants anymore without seeing you there. How the park isn't a park anymore. How I can't even lay in my bed without thinking of the cuddles and hours we spent talking on it. But I'd never tell you that.
I'll never tell you how much I regret everything. I'll never tell you how I pull up a message to you, but I can't find any words to say so I just cancel it. If you ever text me I'll pretend to be happy, not to hurt you, but to help you move on. If you ever asked me how my day went, they're always slow and dead. I sleep a majority of the time an when I'm not sleeping I'm thinking of what we used to be and I'm crying. But I'd never tell you that, "I'm fine," I'd say. And it would break my f*cking heart to watch you walk away, but I'm the bad guy. So I'd never tell you that.

the days neglect to tell me how
I already know they won't wait for me
It's sad to think that for so many people,
happiness is not calling their name,
with the most alluring voice.
you thought about crawling on spikes
to distract yourself from the second sober fate
because you don't know how to cope,

as the sun shine glistens through your window,
you control your greed with paid freedom
as you read about happiness,
you're screaming you want to be free

there's a world outside that hardly waits anymore
we have to keep going, no matter how messy it is
well, you've been looking for a cure,
and I'm confident to say
if you suffer cheap sadness,
you will love the consequences

you are not a wreck to be proof

you are a person, uncomparable to objects

you are not to be fixed

and you are fine the way you are,
please realize this

Tell me a story, or I won't even blink,
I want you to take me to worlds that I
think I could find beauty in, places
to hide deep within like an inside
joke, or a laugh, or a path
to take into Neverland,
a bridge to Wonderland,
any land
as long as I can have you in it.

Tell me a story, fill my sinuses with stink,
I want to feel the ship I want to smell
the brink of desperation, to feel
a strange, secure, separation to
myself, filled with a wealth of
nonsense knowledge, take me
through foliage and laugh as I
bask in a seething sun,
come on, let's go, I crave fun.

Tell me a story, help me taste a
waste of time, I want to laugh a
rhyme and commit the crime
of uselessness and happiness and
bonkerness and silliness and fun
watch me run into a field of fantasies
tongue sampled teas and
smile at simplicities'
sanctuary.

Tell me a story, and allow me to touch
a part of your mind you let
locked away, darling, parent, sibling,
quibbling cognitive miser
tell me a story and you'll end up
wiser for knowing it, for imparting
it, let's party it and part with the
sweetest words of goodness,
I could hear from you

To be **continued