When the time comes to tire,
I swallow the sun
in a single gulp,
while birch sap
slowly sings within me –
a song of light,
a song of night.

and i’m swallowing each impossible love
and letting it fill my stomach lining.
i have touched this ****** with shaky palms.
i have taken my fill,
i have loved, lost, loved, and gave birth to a body i never conceived i would.
i have been in my own company
each night with stacked dishes and undone laundry
and puffy eyes that cannot seem to shrink.
i’m swallowing each sweet nothing as if it belongs to me—as if you belong to me.
through flesh and blood, i see your insides.
they are living. your aura. the soft delicate smooth manner in which you exist.
i live to see the sunrise from your bedroom window in a nightgown,
observing whole towns awakening
as our hearts have never known another
as clearly worth living for.
we are alive and i’m swallowing each emotion
i forced myself to deny.
i breathe what i feel, i am what i want, i am wanting
and oh dear, there is nothing wrong with that.

you chide me
   to right me
then you utter an apology
    although you don't need to
for you'll never tolerate if hurt hurts me

you swallow guilt
   and I swallow resentment
I fill myself with fury and ****** it all to you
    Do I ever care if it hurts you?
Zillion apologies emerge from you, but not even one emerges from me

Swallow all of me
In one gulp
Until only bones
Floating on our conversations
I drown
In your hello
And I become bare
A skeletal smile
With your name
Sticking in my teeth