your face seems so calm
as if
you know
whats going to happen next
"i dare you"
i say and smile
"what else"
you ask
as you put the little figure down
and suddenly
"checkmate"

i am aware of the loss
yet
i am still hoping
"i won"
"i know"
i say
"what are you waiting for then"
"i dont know"
i say
my eyes burn
i try to fight back those tears
traitors
"i won"
you say
"i won"
again

i shake my head
"i dont care"
"but i won"
"lets play one more time"
i beg

i never beg

you look confused but do not refuse
"another one"
i position my king
you position yours
"what if you lose"
you look at me
gently
"then i lost"
i position my queen
you position yours
"the queen is indeed the mightiest of all"
i say
as i do the opening move

you put on your pokerface
i dont bother putting mine on
"your turn"
"this leads to nothing"
you say
you see it
dont you

you
are
losing

the game goes on
"this leads to nothing"
you say
again
I crack a smile
my fingers set the next move
this is your end

you stare at me
i grin
your face filled with
pain

"checkmate"
you say





maybe you really suffered more
even when you won