If I exist, then I must be real-
That's how it works,
But it's not how I feel.
I look in the mirror,
Glimpse at the reflection,
But I walk right through her-
We have no connection.
And how many words
Can I say, rambling on,
Before someone realizes
They carry no weight?
Wasting the air
From my tired lungs-
Words are just words
When no action comes.
But action proves nothing
If my words aren’t right;
I could move mountains
And still lose the fight.
I could fill every hole
That’s carved in the ground,
But none of it matters
If I do so without sound.
If I’m not weeping,
Or begging, or screaming,
I make them uneasy-
My silence unredeeming.
I speak so much
It makes my throat hurt.
Sick of myself,
Sick of this work.
And if I begged
This sickness to take me,
She’d just laugh-
And keep on berating.
I know I’ll get up,
I’ll just walk away.
It never lasts long.
It’s only a phase.
But when your villain
Is the girl in the mirror,
It’s hard to ignore
A fear drawn so clear.
Words lead to words that turn into thoughts, but when they're ideas? Pursue them I do not.