Some of the people
Who scorn at truth,
Meaning and values
Are similar to Aesop's Fox.

They imagine the grape
Hanging so high
That no one can reach it,
So that they can feel like
It is not worth struggling
To achieve it.

But then they become hungry.
And they die of starvation.

Its a long day on my street
the wrong way to go and see
all this city tragedy,
worn sleeping bags
and tattered rags,
all those suffering
lonely roaming people,
and those immigrants
yearning to breathe free.

We didn’t start the fire.
We didn’t light the match.
We didn’t burn the city
down to the tent towns
where homeless hearts
wander wearily around.

But this is the mess
that I am living in,
this is the swap
that politicians have given men
women and innocent children.

All working but still starving
while trying to make a living.

Welcome to my American nightmare.

There: just under the surface,
I can see your truth seeping through,
I can hear the agony shattering your voice,
I can feel the tremor in your body.
Like a torrent of ice, you freeze.
For a second.
For a moment.
You know the truth is laid bare.
Needles and thread used to bind, used to hide.
There: just under the surface- nothing.

Those tears from sad eyes
They can’t last forever
Someday the sun will come out
The warmth will free your lips
And that smile will grace the world again

My contemporary stance to regain a grip on my Daily struggle to deal with Life's problems with a sober conscious is becoming a nuisance due to the fact I keep running away to use drugs so I can deal with time on time's slow flow of ride of passage. Am becoming a more cunning, manipulative, maladapted individual since deep down it hurts to say I am happy being a functional drug user...but this is a double load of struggle because I want someone to sometimes make me feel like I matter and that I am someone to someone else and that I can fight thru my devilish impulses to intoxicate my system. I am becoming mentally irritated with the constant thought to self-medicate and slide by Life with a morbid addiction and I do admit DEFEAT to this substances and lifestyle but why can't I get the motivation to dedicate my time in investing in sobriety? I truly need to take a hard look at why am still escaping my problems and why am still making the wrong decisions and choosing the easy way out with not dealing with my feelings and emotions in a healthy manner. Frankly, I want to quit using drugs at some point in my life but am having trouble abstaining from drug use at the current moment because I do truly love to alleviate all my mental disorder symptoms and enjoy the feeling of calmness and stillness of all my chemical imbalances seeming as if every time I choose to use I am put in a balance within my brain. Nevertheless, I have realized that using drugs does NOT cure me but make things worse in the long run. Suppressed by old whispers from my younger days when I used to use without getting addicted but now this substances have grown on me and I have become an addict to a degree. Sometimes I ponder in thought and imagine myself in front of God's throne pleading my cause like a rugged beggar to be heard by the Most High and all I want is a way out a way of escape from my drug use...Please Lord am at my end I want the struggle to stop...I admit I need your aid guidance and healing let this poem be heard for all I am asking is your saving grace and deliverance. In Jesus name Amen!

the inner voice whispers,
"tell them you're struggling."
my vocal cords are warmed up,
ready to give life to the words.
but the hand over my mouth
is an impermeable barrier
set by the critical voice
that is fueled by fear.

Here I've been singing
Songs for my bleeding soul
Can't you feel my morality leaving?
And now I'm struggling
On heartstrings I'm dangling
And emotionally muddling

There I was, running
My gold armor scuffing
Soon I'll be trusting (forgive)
Soon I will rust
My soul will join the dust
And maybe that's enough

I’m struggling to stay afloat here
Lost in this sea of you and your emotions
The salt water spray stings my eyes
I need some fresh water before I die of thirst