Im struggling to talk
Its making me silent
Im struggling to breathe
Its making me hyperventilate
Im struggling to swallow
Its making me choke
Im struggling to see
Its making me blind
Im struggling to listen
Its making me deaf
Im struggling to run
Its making me walk
Im struggling to jump
Its making me stop
Im struggling to move
Its making me freeze
Im struggling to remember
Its erasing my memories
Im struggling to think
Its making me un smart
Im struggling to be happy
Its making me depressed
Im struggling to laugh
Its making me cry
Im struggling to be calm
Its making me angry
I wanna move
I wanna talk
I wanna see
I wanna breathe
I cannot move
I cannot talk
I cannot see
I cannot breathe
Im pushing,
But its pulling
Im pulling,
But its pushing
Im fighting,
And its fighting back
Im struggling,
And its winning
I wanna be free
I wanna go forward
My freedom is punished
And to go forward is forbidden

i'm struggling to find hope in my humdrum day-to-day,
i'd be lovingly thankful just for this poison to be cast away.
i'm struggling to find light on the darkest of days,
i'd be grateful for a heartily whisper telling me it'll be okay.

i'm struggling today and especially tonight,
it's a looper pedal kicked down as i wonder what happy's like.
i'm struggling in ways i'd never thought were right,
it's a distorted future where I breakdown in mirror fights.

i'm struggling and i really need help,
i just wallow and swallow the pain i keep to myself.
i'm struggling for words to explain my health,
i just endure and lure more demons onto my trophy shelf.

i'm struggling to plan my death;
i'm struggling to find my breath;
i struggled once to end my life;
but now in mortal death...
...i've earned my slice.