It's late
Or early
Depending on
Your perspective
Not doing great
A little too lonely
Reflecting on
My prerogative
Tranquility
Eluding
Me
Serenity
Exuding
See?
I'm a comet
Falling from the stars
But the ground is far
I'm coming in hot
This impact is going to be hard
Boom
Splat
Oh
What?
A little too dark?
Some times I can't believe
The **** that happens to me
The more I get hurt
The funnier it becomes
This hilarity
It's scaring me
I can't tell if this is real
I'm not sure
But I think.....
.....
I think I'm forgetting how to feel.

Who am I?
What have I become?
No solace in solitude
Solidifying my sadness
In singular significance
Silently stewing somberly
In sorrow
What can be done?
Your brilliance is overwhelming
Tearing and gnashing
At the corners of my mind
Your radiance and energy
Over charges my eyes
So much so
That I feel blind
And I can't unwind
Heart strings
Concentrically coiled
Around your fingers
Every step
Every word
Every noticed common interest
Highlighting compatibility
From now into infinity
Intrinsically
You pull those strings
Bringing me closer
Yet so far away
SLAM!
Rip and shred
My heart yanked from my chest
Knocking me breathless
A gut punch
Too high to jump
Too low to duck
My brain creates
Images of competition
And I'm losing.......
Who am I?
What have I become?
What is this?
And what can be done?

Look in to my eyes
What do you see?
Can you see the pain I've seen?
Can you see the places I've been?
Can you see the people I've known?
Can you see how much I've grown?
Can you see that I'm alone?
Always
Can you see?
Green and gold dancing around the inky black
My pupils
In brightness contracted
From the light refracted
Giving substance to what stands before me
Can you see?
Despair and joy
Balancing in a brutal ballet
Brawny and brittle
Becoming barely blissful
A benevolent boquet
Of clover
Is this over?
No
My eyes have seen beauty
Perceived pain
Punished by pleasure
And pleasured in anguish
Can you see?
The person standing here
With eyes swimming
In a sea of green

A pin drops
Sending waves of nothing
Into my cold heart
I grow colder
As I fall apart
The deepening darkness
Drenching me in despair
Drunk and dribbling
Drooling devilishly
Upon the door of doom
Soon, you say
Again
And again
And I wait patiently
Thinking absently
And then....

Cautiously waiting
A cacophony of cries
And a craving carrying
This cornucopia of craziness
I'm callow
Or so they say
Is this my life?
Is this my way?
Kind words
And actions
Melt mere sections
Of this muscle
But so far
It's not enough
And then......

Breathe in my soul
My very essence
Take in my life
My effervescence
I am champagne
Bubbles on the surface
But bitter inside

And then.....

I ask why.....

And then....

I beg to die....

And then....

I say goodbye...

Some times I wonder
Some times I think
Some times I ponder
Am I on the brink?
It seems so simple
But is it really?
A heart is delicate
And mines the epitome
It's barely holding together
In a messed up jury rigged state
Made presentable
With safety pins
And a lot of tape
When ever I start to feel
The way she makes me
I think is this real?
'cause it feels like a dream

I want to know
What makes her tick
I want to know
What makes her sick
Somebody better check me
Quick

I'm catching feels
And I can't catch my breath
My heart thumps
And I reel

Feeling feathery
Frightfully fearing
While furiously fighting
Figuratively of course....
This finesse at finding
Fiery finality

Kind of makes me hesitate
So commiserate
Emancipate
And resuscitate
Let's conversate
And enjoy the ride

Letting you go to be happy.
A worthy cause in my heart.
If only it didn't hurt so,
but I can let you go.
We can remain how we were
I can be happy this way too.
On that day,
I became a pearl
instead of a rose.

I put the paper in the printer every day
I put the paper in the printer every way
When the ink run low
And they jam the envelope
The boss man call me up and then he say

MARIA! MARIA! THE INK RUN LOW
MARIA! MARIA! I JAM THE ENVELOPE
MARIA! MARIA! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
JUST PUT THE PAPER IN THE PRINTER AND THEN I PAY YOU

"So why are you painting a woman in a bottle?"
The challenge. Handling all those quirky reflections and layers of transparency.

"She has phantom arms and legs, what about that?"
Yes, pretty cool. A Vitruvian woman in a bottle.

"I'm looking for Meaning: Don't paintings look under the surface?"
You mean, what does it mean, really mean? It's just a way to test my skill.

"But what are you saying with that?"
It's not feminist nor anti, it's just an exercise. Besides, there's a rope.

"But aren't you, as an artist, exposing reality, presenting emotions and feelings, seeing the soul?"
I'm not on a soapbox-- I'm testing my skill-- I paint and don't think about it too much. After all, 'Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar' or is it 'just a smoke'? *

"I don't like your message."
OK, I'll paint you in a bottle...
As a shrunken head.

I saw you for the last time
before you left for Georgia
we hugged in the hotel hallway
people walked by, we didn't care
what they thought of us.
It felt like it was just you and me.

I mumbled into your chest, "You smell good"
"It's Old Spice" you said "now whenever you smell Old Spice you'll think of me"

Now you're gone, and I probably won't see you again ever in my life.

I'll see you when I stand in the aisles
In the store looking for Old Spice
So I can smell you again.

I yearn to put my head
On your chest
And inhale your delicious old spice.