everything’s been a little cut-deep lately,
heart-pound lately,
teach me
how not to feel
for once.
this isn’t the first time, y'see,
that my heart wears me down,
lungs a little too full.
d'you know the feeling?
but—teach me how not to.
how not to feel every quake of every bone,
every pulse of every vein,
let it fade into background noise because god,
only thing louder than the entire world is my own **** self.
exhausting.
either teach me how to make it hush
or lay me down
to sleep.

Do not worry, where.
Moon, find me.
Illuminate shadows
the sun could not
shake.
A million miles
away,
in a town unheard of.
On my way to a place
I’m not sure
exists.

Do not think of me.
I leave no trace of
myself.
Stars render the inability to guide,
when the darkness isn’t
quite dark
at all.
As long as I'm gone
I give myself to
the solace of
solitude.
Under the covers of
foggy back roads,
searching for answers in
static stations.

Do not look for me.
Sun, you burn
sharp scars into my skin.
I bruised and broke until I thought I
believed.
Only to discover
I did not.
Do not believe, do not believe,
me.
Do not.

The sequel to "Dainty"**

It was a lie when
I let my body feel static,
and I never uttered a word
you're too quick to judge me
as dramatic,

It's no use at all
to try to prove my ethereal case,
because my case to you
is another flower you never
bothered to water in a
pristine glass vase,

It was a lie when
I let my mind feel static,
but I never screamed;
you'd deem my reaction
s e m i -a u t o m a t i c,
like I'd bring this on myself;
Please dear,
before you assume
for Heaven's sake,
go to Hell.

Static
Listen.
Everything else is secondary
Everything else is static
Pay no attention to the rules and labels.
Reach for the core, pull out the heart
There is green in the wasteland.
Blue beyond gray.
Slough off the mud covered.
There are jewels in the mire.
Ignore the distractions fantasies illusion.
Feel your way thru the fog.
Hear the deep beat. Its in everything.
Listen!
Everything else is secondary.
Everything else is static.
Yes!
White noise brings no joy.
Lost in the dark
All memories erased.
Feel your way thru the fog.
Hear the deep beat
Your heart.
Its in everything.
Resonating.
Listen!
Everything else is secondary.
Everything else is static.

My therapist has a
white noise machine
Outside her
office door.

It sounds like a
box fan in the
Summer and a
coffee *** in the
Morning and a
distant vacuum cleaner
All at once.

And you can hear
voices over it but
You can't hear
what they're saying.

I have a
white noise machine
Somewhere in the
back of my head.

It sounds like
radio static
The loose noise
they put in the
Backing tracks of
songs and it never
Shuts off.

And I can hear my
thoughts over it but
I can't hear
what they're saying.

I was a breath upon all, touching
where others had not navigated
in essence. I had been there before,
even foot steps hadn't even been trod
upon by either animal or man.

But as I wondered the expanse my
substance began to disperse in ever
quickening momentum. I was all
but then I became threadbare on
existence and faded from form.

All was non-caporal then as I
realized I was once again substance
and form. I saw the surroundings
what was before me. I was static in
momentum not traversing as before.

Lingering in solitude not of a translucent
form. But now I was of consolidated
essence, I was neither of movement
but in this silhouette I had time to ponder
many things that I hadn't thought before.

"Wind is but the breath of all others,

But then as a static object I thought?

*"Static I watch the world in-depth as I hadn't before,

This static rain
is singing me to sleep
as the darkness engulfs your voice.

This ecstatic pain
is an unsettling creep
of silence becoming the noise.

Want to play a game
Lie to me
See what happens
It will be so fun to watch me at war with myself
My natural inclination to trust
Versus my accumulated skepticism

Oh it will drive me mad you see
Throwing my limbs against the wall
Trying to see how far they'll bounce off
And when I discern the situation
I become a lot more cold
Than you are used to
The one who dried your tears
Turns their back
Says grow up

Now every word
Every act will be treated as lies
Because once I find one lie
I will give up on finding any truth

Picture on the outside
Static on the inside

Our dreams are just stardust,
Just handfuls of stardust
Slipping through our fingers
But leaving glitter behind

Our potential is a sea
Vast and bottomless and blue
Just one stroke after another, and
You'll find yourself someplace new

I wish the world would stop turning
For a while, for a moment or two
And we could breathe and smell the flowers
And pretend all our dreams came true