That eerie feeling of impending doom-
Doom that is not Armageddon or apartheid;
But a hiccup that could put a wrinkle on your path
The one, you can feel but not explain.
Your, being, scream caution to your limbs
Your head is in a swirl of mixed emotions
Anger and exasperation sync on an unlikely tandem
Time slows and you could hear the nano clicking ticks.
Sapiens, we are, and we need to believe
For the feel in our jellies, are stories
Floating passed through generations-
Sands of time: unsettling, familiar, close encounters.
the breath i breathe is not my own
this heart that pumps does not feel
someone’s must be inside of me
clicking the buttons for my body to work
because i have left and buried myself
in a plot of dark soil
i no longer feel what my soul used to say
all i am is an empty sack of bones
feeling very.... empty? i think that’s how i’d described it. empty.
Now I'll rest
The roaring waves
Silence is unsettling to me
It scares me how loud it gets
when there is nothing
This static rain
is singing me to sleep
as the darkness engulfs your voice.
This ecstatic pain
is an unsettling creep
of silence becoming the noise.
~~ Static ecstasy is dragging me into the void. ~~
How can you kiss me
With steady fingers?
Open the top drawer of that dresser dad gave as a moving out present.
Look for the keys. Yes, the one marked Yale. That tiny one.
Under your bed, find that metal box you bought as your money safe.
Open the box. Insert the key, twist, open the box.
See all the memories and money you kept in. Find the notebook labeled “unsettling".
Read everything you wrote. Read them until you remember. The exact moments, people, places, and feelings. Read every decisions. Read every mistakes. Read every regrets.
Feel everything. Feel the hate, love, indifference. Feel the feeling or the lack thereof.
Admit to yourself that everything is unsettling.
Return the journal. Lock the box.
Make tea. Drink it.
Relax. Calm down.
You finally settled it.
There's something unsettling.
Found myself at a dental clinic...
He was the best there was.
Unorthodox and eccentric,
But to the specialised craft, he was boss.
Ran through the bits and bobs
Like any normally would.
The poking and prodding and the mandible X-rays.
Everything cold and clinical, so was the mood.
Strange was what happened next...
Specialist and I then stood facing each other.
He leaned close and pressed his palms against my rib cage.
Held them there over a few breaths before it was over.
Then a brief chat, small talk initiated by the man.
Bespectacled and exceedingly chatty, small in stature.
Talks of politics and odd human behaviours...
What started off as friendly turned into a heated banter.
I then realised that along with his decorated credentials,
Was his propensity to be condescending and arrogant.
Him being the best, I thought I could let it all slide,
But soon enough I opted out of being a willing participant.
Couldn't stand his abrasive cockiness!
I snapped out of being cordial and passive thought.
I wanted him to just stop talking!
I went, "Well, are you going to fix my teeth or not?!"
He was stunned momentarily...
I suppose he hadn't seen that coming.
Then his features softened to a blank
I could almost read the unspoken words he was conjuring.
With an exasperated sigh of resignation,
He uttered his next words swollen with regret
"There's no need...for you only have four years left."
It dawned upon me that my timer has been set.
*And then I woke up...
Had this dream several nights ago. I believe that in a lifetime, we'd probably get at least three dreams that would be etched in our minds forever. So far I've had two... The other is in my earlier writes.
One I can't place.
Struggling of late.
Sloth-like and heavy.
No warning lever.
Don't know what's wrong.
Been rather long.
Can't rid me this cough.
Expulsion so violent,
Over a fortnight
This ailment I fight.
Still hasn't eased.
Can't be appeased.
Development is seen.
Now spitting green.
Not just all
That joined this brawl.
It's just the coughing.
No injury I'm suffering,
I haven't bled...
But I see red...