Sometimes,
When the sun gets low,
And the stars and moon don’t seem to be hanging in the sky,
Taunting me with their ability to disappear into oblivion,
It can feel almost impossible to breathe.

While I know that being unable to breathe
Because there is nothing in the darkness to light my way
Is as about impossible as it is possible for me to love you again,
It is still my reality.

I know that my heart will never be open to the possibility of
surrendering itself so completely to you once more,
Just as well as I know that this weight on my chest isn’t real,
But it doesn’t make the feeling evaporate like water on a blisteringly hot day,
Or even on a slightly too warm for a jumper day.

The harshness of my condition has been taught to me
Like a bunny has been taught to hide
When the foxes stalk it’s way.
Even more so, the cures have been preached to me since
The moment I admitted I led a tormented existence,
And yet my existence has remained tormented.

Maybe this is my moment, my completely, impossible to ignore,
Unavoidable,
Moment.
To quiet those which torment me.
Which taunt me.
Which remind me,
I will never truly escape these chains
That hold me on the starless nights.

And she looked up at the sky and called out to God
And the universe caressed the girls cheek
And said
“My child, the strength you call upon has been within you all along”

You will see the light of the star you always adored at night.
One day, the moon will serve as your savior from drowning in the darkness of your own past.
And these lights will then guide you into taking the right path.

Am I
here,
or am
I in
your
tidal
stars
of my
eyes,
seeing
your
light
in the
little
skies
joining
leaves,
they are
not far,
rather,
they
shine
near
as my
own,
the cells
of one
cosmic
glow,
a drop
of rain
falls from
the heavens
and I catch
upon it
my delicate
finger,
the dew
cascades,
I close
my eyes
and feel
the ocean in
my hands,
in silver
scales, I
dive,
in colors
of blue,
golden
and
green,
I will
forever
dream.

Behind the days bluish glow

I know you're there

I wait for sunset and while away

Until the midnight hour

Where your breath speaks to my soul

Where constellations twinkle

in sequence spelling out your secret name

And as I rise weightless

Leaving the old leaden sheath behind

The cosmos suddenly opens

A stream of concious light

Interconnected highways and byways

And the game of tip chase begins

Are you amongst the stars?

Are those your soul prints amongst the quasars?

I search for you,

With all the excitement

Of innocent eyes devouring the wonders

but you still remain for my efforts unseen...